Debbolas
08-11-2004, 05:48 PM
blonde jokes
A DEAD BMW
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.
She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely
if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to
show it to you!"
EXPOSURE
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right
breast hanging out.
A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could
cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why officer?"
The officer replies, "Because your breast is hanging out,"
She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk.
She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts
back,
"You ARE on the other side."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled,
"PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know.
We're going at night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature.
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name,
can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,
and asked her what their names were.. The blonde responded by saying
that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HelOOOooo," answered the blond.
"They're watch dogs!"
A DEAD BMW
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.
She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely
if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to
show it to you!"
EXPOSURE
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right
breast hanging out.
A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could
cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why officer?"
The officer replies, "Because your breast is hanging out,"
She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk.
She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts
back,
"You ARE on the other side."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled,
"PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know.
We're going at night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature.
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name,
can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,
and asked her what their names were.. The blonde responded by saying
that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HelOOOooo," answered the blond.
"They're watch dogs!"