Angered Kids

[Kindsvater Flat]

My stepson (8) has a very hard time controlling his anger and also reacting before thinking of reprocussions(sp). I think he holds the record at school for citations. We have tried the grounding thing, no tv, electronics, etc.... I have also tried manual labor by hoeing weeds, picking up dog crap and that stuff. We have tried school counslers, private counslers and so on. Last year he got so mad as to where he called his mom a bitch and shattered the front window. We tried a little scare tactic with the probation dept since I know most of them and she works with them through domestic violence issues. We did find out that he does not like me disciplining him. So I pretty much do all of it. Back in the day I would have got the crap beat out of me as a reminder to not **** up. Well now that its 2 weeks into school he came home with his first citation. They were playing baseball and he got pissed and threw the bat out in the infield at the other kids. I'm about to stick a foot in his ass.
I need some ideas. I'm starting to think he's having a chemical imbalance problem. What do I do?
Mike
BTW the stepdaughter (9) is straight A and never gets in trouble and my son is about the same (13)

[DeltaSigBoater]

Kick His Ass

[Some Kind Of Monster]

Wow that's a tough situation, especially at such a young age. I don't have much advise for you, but I feel for ya. Hopefully he will grow out of it.

[Kindsvater Flat]

Wow that's a tough situation, especially at such a young age. I don't have much advise for you, but I feel for ya. Hopefully he will grow out of it.
Either that or he will be in jail.

[JetBoatRich]

Tough situation, need to find out what is driving this anger :idea:

[Some Kind Of Monster]

Growing up I was rarely disciplined. I recognized that I was nothing without my parents and I didn't want to disrespect them. Thats pretty hard to explain to an 8 year old though. My sister acted out much as your son is and it seems she is finally growing out of it (although she is still a B$*@^, I'll give it some more time). Was there some kind of event in his life that changed his attitude? Does he get a lot of positive reinforcement as well?

[Kindsvater Flat]

He has been like this since day 1. We don't know what to do. He loses patience with himself or anything and just flips. I'm thinking of putting a little pot in his brownies.

[Some Kind Of Monster]

Maybe he needs to get on a kids sports team so he can safely let his anger out on others. I was always in soccer, basketball, or football when I was young and now I let it out with my boat, karate, and playing my guitar.

[franky]

Find a Tae Kwon Do studio that is run by real korean masters, not some buy a belt shop. Enroll your kid. They will instill on your kid discipline, respect for others and self control. Honest, been there, done that. You will not believe the turnaround.

[Kindsvater Flat]

He is in Tae Kwon do now with the other 2 hoping that it will work or he will be a real ass kicker. I think it has helped some but not a real change yet. We sign him up in all sports but we have the same problems there also just not as bad.

[repo man]

shoe him up the ass!!!! i was an ass hole kid but i didn't act out toward my parents because they would respond with swift and blinding violence. so basicaly i was good out of good old fashion fear. next time he gets like that with the wife tell her to punch him in the face right that second . my dad says ''you don't reason with an eight year old kid you just tell them how it is"" and if they don't obey you spank their ass. i also think the football thing is a good idea but what ever you do don't let him quit . that will help.

[Some Kind Of Monster]

what ever you do don't let him quit
Agreed. likewise, whatever form of discipline you choose has to be consistant. It also has to apply to your other children or it will not work. Stick to it!

[repo man]

He is in Tae Kwon do now with the other 2 hoping that it will work or he will be a real ass kicker. I think it has helped some but not a real change yet. We sign him up in all sports but we have the same problems there also just not as bad.
trust me a good football coach is like god to little boys i've seen it make a huge difference in my nephew

[Kindsvater Flat]

We're consistant but he's getting used to it. Trying to think of new things for a punishment.

[Coach]

Have him pick out a switch. If it isn't big enought pick the right size one out and swat his ass with it. If not a paddle works well. I am not into the "time out" bullshit. A good swat or two on the ass works wonders. If the temper does not improve he will get his ass beat down in a bar or worse shot down the road. :frown: I know it is not a easy desion, but sometimes a kid needs to be on the other end of the shit they are doing so they can see how it hurts others. Accountiblity is hard to teach, but will go a long way down the road.

[Misogynist]

Pass a law to make abortions available retroactively for 18 years...... :mad:

[Flying Tiger]

He's probably acting out what he sees someone else close to him doing.
Get into child counseling.
If you have medical insurance, they will pick it up. I carry Pacificcare and they paid for 70 visits.
Unfortunatly, I went through the same thing with my son.
It sucks, I feel your pain,,, he needs to learn how to handle it, and judgemental parents just seem to aggravate it.
But by all means, don't let it go like he'll grow outta it. It's serious shit.
He eventually may use it to intimidate others, especially teachers, and his life will really suck.
Daughter went through the monthly fussies starting at 8 until the Angry Aunt from Red china finally arrived,, and we deal with that with a glass of wine, or Mikes hard lemonaid.

[Kindsvater Flat]

The real hard part is he is not my son but my stepson and his dad is no friggen help. I have no problem with the switch, paddle, etc but the wife isn't a real firm believer in that kind of punishment. She is the 1 2 3 counting person. I need to have total control. She is gone until tomorrow and we are going to have a little talk about this. I want to get this resolved now before it gets any worse.

[Some Kind Of Monster]

You said he was in counseling before.. What happened? I have seen bad counselors and good ones. The bad ones I believe actually make things worse.
Also, I bet his bio dad has a problem with physical punishment too. Am I right?

[Kindsvater Flat]

I was working with him stopping and thinking what the consequences would be if he followed through with his actions. This seemed to work a little also which helps. We have tried 3 different counslers and they also seem to help.

[Misogynist]

I know how you feel... helpless... and you walk a fine line between abuse and discipline.... I had a stepson 23 years ago.... that is how long I've been divorced.... my ex refused to discipline her son... her excuse was " I want him to blossom and flourish into a whole person... not someone who has had their spirit crushed"... This little 6 year old a$$hole could disassemble a 7-11 store blindfolded in 5 minutes... If I said anything... I was told "there's nothing wrong with his behavior... it's your inability to accept his behavior that's the problem".... Then the trump card was pulled from her sleeve... "He's my son... not yours.... you can't tell me how to raise my son." I finally got fed up and left... I've been out of touch with my ex and her son for years... I recently heard he is doing "time" for his blossoming behavior..... :yuk:

[coolchange]

Your assesment of a chemical imbalance may not be that far off.
Sounds like maybe ADHD. I'm not a proffesional but I have tons of experience.
Now before the rest of you chime in on drugs, kick his ass, etc., your opinion on the subject is the same as mine on abortion. NO uterus=NO opinion.
If your teachers are no help in getting things started then go to your pediatrician and get referred. I fought the "Your not going to drug MY kid" thing for a long time. Now I'm sorry I didn't move sooner. Remember, it's hard on the kid also.

[SHAKEN Not Stirred]

I have a friend that is going through the same thing right now with her 7 year old........The little kid is really bad.
They have figured out that he DOES have ADHD, but this was after going to numerous doctors. Keep on with the counseling until you find the right doctor.
Don't give up or you will really be paying for it in 10 years......
Good Luck......CJG
:squiggle:

[Misogynist]

You can medicate the little f---ers until they are like zombies... but if there is no discipline..... it won't make any difference... it may help with the short attention span... but not the behavior.... :boxingguy

[coolchange]

So what you are saying is you dont know what the fu ck you're talking about

[Some Kind Of Monster]

Ut oh.. Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays.

[100mbs]

My Wife's nephew lived with us for a while because he wasn going through the same thing with his parents.
We took him to our home and got him counseling right away. He had the exact same simptoms as you are decribing about your step-son. We eventually found out that he ADHD (Attention Deficet Hyperactive Disorder). The therapist precriped Adreall and WellButrin. It really helped him out. He was doing a lot better in school and at home. He interacted better with other kids and adults.
It wasnt to say he didnt have his days BUT they were far less and farther apart then before.
If you go to one therapist but you dont like him or her go to the next one until you find one that you think maybe working and one that your step-son can talk to freely.
He might even be suffering from a little depression. Maybe because of his mother and father splitting up. It's not unheard of for younger kids to become depressed.
I know a lot of people are against the whole medication thing espcially when it comes to ADHD meds. But what you rather have a daily fight with your child or live a half-way normal life with him and enjoy his time with you and your wife?

[Misogynist]

So what you are saying is you dont know what the fu ck you're talking about
What-chu talking' bout Willis?

[master13]

I would recommend that you ask....no tell his teacher that you would like your stepson referred to a "Student Study Team". This is where they will evaluate him and see if he needs further testing. The testing I'm talking about is for special education. If he is placed in Special Ed lots of doors will open for your stepson and he should get help with this problem. Medication is not a bad thing if it helps him with school. The school district will only be concerned with his education and if his behavior is having a negative effect on his education then they are going to help you period, it's the law. But, first he needs to be placed in "Special Education". I have seen kids go on to college with all kinds of learning and behavior problems, just don't give up on him and search the web for information on special education. I hope this helps you out. Also, look for a wrestling club, great sport for kids.

[Kindsvater Flat]

We tried the special ed thing also. His study habits aren't the greatest but he does pretty well academically. I would say he is in the high c low b range grade wise when he slows down. He also jumps the gun at the "I don't get it" on new work when actually he can do it if he stops to read it.
Lots of ideas here and thanks.

[Kindsvater Flat]

This just about hits the nail on the head.
ADHD (http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/adhd.cfm)
Symptoms
The principal characteristics of ADHD are inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. These symptoms appear early in a child's life. Because many normal children may have these symptoms, but at a low level, or the symptoms may be caused by another disorder, it is important that the child receive a thorough examination and appropriate diagnosis by a well-qualified professional.
Symptoms of ADHD will appear over the course of many months, often with the symptoms of impulsiveness and hyperactivity preceding those of inattention, which may not emerge for a year or more. Different symptoms may appear in different settings, depending on the demands the situation may pose for the child's self-control. A child who "can't sit still" or is otherwise disruptive will be noticeable in school, but the inattentive daydreamer may be overlooked. The impulsive child who acts before thinking may be considered just a "discipline problem," while the child who is passive or sluggish may be viewed as merely unmotivated. Yet both may have different types of ADHD. All children are sometimes restless, sometimes act without thinking, sometimes daydream the time away. When the child's hyperactivity, distractibility, poor concentration, or impulsivity begin to affect performance in school, social relationships with other children, or behavior at home, ADHD may be suspected. But because the symptoms vary so much across settings, ADHD is not easy to diagnose. This is especially true when inattentiveness is the primary symptom.
According to the most recent version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders2 (DSM-IV-TR), there are three patterns of behavior that indicate ADHD. People with ADHD may show several signs of being consistently inattentive. They may have a pattern of being hyperactive and impulsive far more than others of their age. Or they may show all three types of behavior. This means that there are three subtypes of ADHD recognized by professionals. These are the predominantly hyperactive-impulsive type (that does not show significant inattention); the predominantly inattentive type (that does not show significant hyperactive-impulsive behavior) sometimes called ADD—an outdated term for this entire disorder; and the combined type (that displays both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive symptoms).

[dexman38]

If his dad is no help . that may be the problem. your son may want to be with his dad. you may be the best thing for these kid. but a kid needs interaction with his dad. has his dad been apart of his life.if so there is a bound . your kid will not relize that you are a great person till he is a man himself. what ever you do dont give up. moms are to soft on boys. me and my wife have different veiws on rasing are 2 boys. she thinks i am to hard and i think she is to soft. she is there safty net. i belive a good kick in the ass is needed some time. the second time around can be tough when kids are involved. i was the ass hole stepson toward my stepmother untill i was 20 . my stepbrother hated my dad till he was about 20 when you are own your own you look at life in a different way.

[Cheap Thrills]

I agree with 100 mbs .. catch that PM Kindsvater Flat
T.C. :wink:

[v-drive]

First of all you are the step parent. You have no rights and by law that young man can have you thrown in jail real fast. I know it's frustrating as I am also a step parent. The ADHD is sounding like a direction to go.
My first thought was to tell you to put your foot in his ass until he straightens up but i believe there are more serious isssues here. Tai kwon Do is great but if he has another problem as soon as he grows a little he will use it on you and that's not what you want. take a deep breath and start another route. By the way he knows your wife won't let you be more aggressive with him. Good luck....v-drive :coffeycup

[mmered8299]

My be you two could spend some quailty time together. A long camping trip. Just the two of you nobody else. No distractions. Get closer together. Reason being is you want him to start thinking that you will be disappointed in him when he screws up. He is not afraid of your ass whippings. But if you guys are best friends, you would'nt want to do something to piss your best friend off, would you? :notam:

[lucky]

He has been like this since day 1. We don't know what to do. He loses patience with himself or anything and just flips. I'm thinking of putting a little pot in his brownies.
YEA BUT JUST A LITTLE --- :220v:

[lucky]

We're consistant but he's getting used to it. Trying to think of new things for a punishment.
iF DAT DON'T WORK - I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YA - MY STEP KIDS ARE OLDER - THE BOY JUST TURNED 18 SO I CAN KICK HIS ASS - BUT HE KNOWS NOT TO MESS WITH ME - LETS JUST SAY THE OLD FAT BASTARD CAN STILL WRESTLE - AND HAVE CAUSED HIM SOME DISTRESS :supp: GOOD LUCK - STEP KIDS ARE FUN -

[Her454]

Mike, Alot of great advice here and I feel your pain. If the dad is no help (I can relate on that too) that can work as a major negative. DONT give up. As frustrating as it is, quality time and persistence will pay off. You and Taylor spend alot of time together doing the boat stuff etc......try taking him, without Taylor...even if he doesnt want to go. Sometimes kids really DO want to do stuff with parents even tho they protest about it. They also want discipline, period. Its structure and stability - something he isn't getting (apparently?) from the biological dad. Negative attention is better than none in the eyes of a child. Not sure if there are any real answers but you have to go with your gut feeling and do what YOU think is right for your situation. One thing I've learned....the hard way....is to not let them know if they are impacting your relationship with your spouse in the negative with their actions. Try and work together at all costs and stand firm. I dont agree with medicating to "control" but to each his own. Again, I certainly dont have the answers and as a single parent I know how hard it can be to raise a teenager with anger issues. All I can say is dont give up and hang in there, its worth it in the end. T-

[Flyinbowtie]

My #2 son is 16, on ADHD medication and he is benefiting from it.
His major hurdle has been low self-esteem, generated by some speech problems that are a result of several siezures in his first few weeks of life, which were spent at UCD's Neonatal Intensive Care unit in Sacto.
Great folks.
The frustration and anger you are seeing may be a direct result of what he believes is his inability to quickly grasp new concepts. Her 454, I was against the meds as well, but we have an outstanding pediatrician who has followed Justin from birth, and he and the wife convinced me to try it.
The change is unreal.
K-Flat,
You are facing the additional challenge of the "Stepdad" issue. I think the primary thing he needs to know is that you are not trying to "mess " with him, hold him back, or ruin his life. He needs to believe that you want him to succeed in life. If he misses his father, and wants something from that relationship that he isn't getting, it will make it all the tougher for you. His dad is on a pedistal that the boy is in control of. If he even suspects that you are trying to undermine that pedistal, your job will get tougher. All you can do is try to establish your own relationship with him. Even at 8, a kid who believes that you are trying to help him will eventually learn to trust you. You will need that trust later, as I'm sure you already know.
He also needs to learn that you are the boss, one way or t'other.
Hang in there....
FBT

[totenhosen]

My be you two could spend some quailty time together. A long camping trip. Just the two of you nobody else. No distractions. Get closer together. Reason being is you want him to start thinking that you will be disappointed in him when he screws up. He is not afraid of your ass whippings. But if you guys are best friends, you would'nt want to do something to piss your best friend off, would you? :notam:
Kids shouldn't be best friends with their parents/guardians.

[v-drive]

Kids shouldn't be best friends with their parents/guardians.
They don't have to be best friends but they do have to be friends in his situation. I told my step children that i didn't want to take their fathers place , I just wanted to be someone that they could come to if they needed.
:) v-drive

[Her454]

Her 454, I was against the meds as well, but we have an outstanding pediatrician who has followed Justin from birth, and he and the wife convinced me to try it.
The change is unreal.
FBT
FBT, I'm happy it worked for you but I tried it for my daughter at age 7 when they told me she had trouble focusing etc. All the symptoms of ADD. I did it against my better judgement and all it did was "medicate" her to the point of losing her appetite and "spunk". I decided to take her off it and went a different route and it worked for me. Shes a very intelligent kid who can totally focus when SHE WANTS TO and was just angry and distracted with our divorce. However, along with her being intelligent, she is also stubborn (still cant figure out where she gets that from ;) ) and that makes the "when she wants to focus part" all the harder. :D

[coolchange]

Contrary to popular opinion meds for ADHD are not downers but stimulants.
And the amounts given are very small. 5mg -10mg. My son tried three before we found the best one. The effects of stimulants on the brain is the highest studied issue in psychology. We still struggle with school but it is managable now and this year he took his first mound as a high school pitcher.

[Blown 472]

Mike, Alot of great advice here and I feel your pain. If the dad is no help (I can relate on that too) that can work as a major negative. DONT give up. As frustrating as it is, quality time and persistence will pay off. You and Taylor spend alot of time together doing the boat stuff etc......try taking him, without Taylor...even if he doesnt want to go. Sometimes kids really DO want to do stuff with parents even tho they protest about it. They also want discipline, period. Its structure and stability - something he isn't getting (apparently?) from the biological dad. Negative attention is better than none in the eyes of a child. Not sure if there are any real answers but you have to go with your gut feeling and do what YOU think is right for your situation. One thing I've learned....the hard way....is to not let them know if they are impacting your relationship with your spouse in the negative with their actions. Try and work together at all costs and stand firm. I dont agree with medicating to "control" but to each his own. Again, I certainly dont have the answers and as a single parent I know how hard it can be to raise a teenager with anger issues. All I can say is dont give up and hang in there, its worth it in the end. T-
Very well put, might have moms give him a slap across the mouth if he goes off on her again. Lay the lumber and gain some respect. I do the 123 thang but if I get to three I am laying it down on some ass and my kid knows that. Spanked him once and that is all it took. Mouth full of soap works well too, **** do I hate the taste of dove.

[1978 Rogers]

My mom used to take the wooden spoon to my ass when I did something wrong. She'd spank me with it 4 -5 times, bare ass. I wasn't a bad kid, but I learned fast. Looking back, I don't think my mom was hard on me. My dad was the easy one. All my friends got the same routine growing up as I did. If they mouthed off or said something they shouldn't have. They usually got the back of the hand before they could finish what they were trying to say. We have a 19 month old boy. I'm sure I'll be an affirmative spanker.
Maybe the two of you or the family should talk to some professionals on how to deal with his issues. I'd certainly seek professional advise. It's a tough call and I'm sure not expert. Good Luck.

[throwerb]

Here is my .02. My wife is a child pyschologist and works with kids just like this every day. Hard to say if it is a chemical inbalance, but there are tests. As far as the advise you're getting about putting a foot in his ass I can tell you first hand that doesn't work, just makes a kid tougher and the second he's out of you sight all hell will break loose, saw my ex-father inlaw try to do this to one of his sons until the kid hit 16 and 6'4" 240, put his dad in the hospital with a bat and 2 months latter in and out of jail, until at 32, he meet a girl who he cared enough about to get counciling, and turned his life around. There are many other examples, but look at what happened to Mike Tyson. My advice is to spend more one on one time with him, and him alone, and talk to him about how he feels. And have him tested, at least that way you can rule chemical problems out. Good luck.

[ratso]

One chick I date has ADHD...Gawd she's fun... :D

[Debbolas]

This just about hits the nail on the head.
ADHD (http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/adhd.cfm)
uh,
I think I have this.............. :confused:

[100mbs]

When my wifes nephew came to live with us at first it was a battle every day. Punishing him in any way didnt do any good. I did find that spending quality time with him did seem to help. We went to desert and rode and to the river and he seemed to enjoy it.
He still missed his dad and that was hard for him to get over not being with his own dad or mom for that matter. So i would make sure he still has the opportunity to speak with his dad as failry often as possible. That may have some soothing affect on him and may keep him from acting out as much.
The problem with ADHD is that no matter how much you punish him or yell at him. It wont sink in and they wont really learn from it. It is the chemical embalance in their body that wont allow them to comprehend things like kids with out ADHD.
Now for our nephew we found that money seemed to stimulate him and modivate him to do good in school and at home. We set up a little reward system for him nothing to much but some extra spending money.

[Kindsvater Flat]

Thanks everyone for so many options. I'm gonna get wifey to read this and see if this will shine the light. I know as a parent that you never want to think something is wrong with our children yet the reality shows it differently.
Traci I have tried and asked everytime Taylor and I go out. He is so close on going on his own now without being forced. I want him to see the fun that Taylor and I have and let him decide on his own. Now if mom went he would go instantly. Everything comes in time but this part we have to get handled now before something drastic happens. I do spend time with him here at the house and he does come out in the shop and help a little but gets bored with it quickly.

[Ziggy]

Went through the same thing with my son at that age, he had/has a stepmother who he'd ignore and not obey. He was diagnosed with ADHD and they tried the life altering drugs :220v: ....he wasn't himself so we banished that route.
With some counseling we were able to detect where some of his anger was directed. And what seemed to really help was kinda strange I thought: We gave him something specific to abuse when he'd have tantrums, our best tool was a plastic baseball bat and a tree :lightsabe . Whenever he'd go off we'd just say go get your bat and whack away at the tree....5-10 minutes of hearing a giant woodpecker and he'd come in and be quite normal :idea:
He did eventually grow out of it but there some years that were more than tough on us as a family...now we are all much tighter :smile:
.
Good luck with it, it takes tons of patience and unyielding love.

[Misogynist]

Thanks everyone for so many options. I'm gonna get wifey to read this and see if this will shine the light. I know as a parent that you never want to think something is wrong with our children yet the reality shows it differently.
Traci I have tried and asked everytime Taylor and I go out. He is so close on going on his own now without being forced. I want him to see the fun that Taylor and I have and let him decide on his own. Now if mom went he would go instantly. Everything comes in time but this part we have to get handled now before something drastic happens. I do spend time with him here at the house and he does come out in the shop and help a little but gets bored with it quickly.
OH.... you're going to let the wifey read this thread?...... ok..... just in case she doesn't heed any of the advise..... do what I did. PULL UP STAKES AND RUN..... RUN FORREST .... RUN...... after all.... HE ISN'T YOUR CHILD/PROBLEM..... there... maybe that will convince her how serious the problem is...... :p

[lewiville]

somthing that i do with my kids is a couple times during the week after i have been home for about a hour or so, pull them aside ( by themself's ) and ask how was there day. get them to open up. by doing that i can understand that maybe they had a shitty day at school, and then the home made counsling comes in. however they have to know clearly what the bounderies are, what the concequences are if they cross the boundries. then when that doesnt work, pin them down on the floor and shove soap down they mouth. it worked for my 3 year old. now when he is acting up, i just tell him that i have a bar of soap in my pocket, and i will use it. some times i realy do use it.

[checkster]

I feel for ya man. My stepson moved in 10 years ago. He is now 3 months from 18 years old. We have seen every counselor and tried every new "slow me down drug" but the same situatuions you speak of have occured for us. This last year he has been to jail twice for a month at a time. He comes out and eveything is fine for about two weeks then we start all over again. He has also dropped out of school (he basically hasn't gone in the last two years and I have spent many days rounding his ass up and getting him back to class) The trouble he has caused our family of 5 has resulted in me not giving a shit and I am counting the days (69) until he is 18 which he becomes an adult and will move (or be moved from my house). Good luck!!! I hope your situation somehow improves. I wish I could help you but in ten years no one has given me an answer worth a shit and the experts tend to sound like extreme dip shits who are paid to recite garble from their college psych books. Oh ya. Don't let these assholes turn it around and start blaming you and your spouse for your kids ****ed up attitude...

[Flying Tiger]

Keep on with the counseling until you find the right doctor.
Don't give up or you will really be paying for it in 10 years......
Good Luck......CJG
:squiggle:
ditto deluxe

[Scream]

This just about hits the nail on the head.
ADHD (http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/adhd.cfm)
Sounds like you're on your way to happy land here. Unfortunately with split family situations, there's going to be problems with follow through on the part of the bio father it sounds like. Many families that have this same situation (child diagnosed with ADD, ADHD, Tourettes (my son)) try to find somebody to "blame" for the disorder rather than move forward and get the kid the help he/she needs. You're on the right track, Good luck getting the bio dad on track with the program.

[Seadog]

First off, I think that he may be wanting attention and he is getting it with his actions. It may be good to consider finding a boys camp where he will find many others that are even worse than he is. A good scare now may be more important then in a few years when he gets locked up with other delinquents

[OGShocker]

This issue is too important to armchair. GET HELP! Here is a link that may help.Get HELP! (http://www.angrykids.com/)
I wish you luck.
OGS

[cdog]

He thinks he's a tough guy. Drive him to a local jail and let the inmates give him shit. There was a show called scared straight on MTV, these kids sound just like your son. They all cried like little girls once mom and dad left them with bubba. Good Luck!

[Infomaniac]

Boot camp school is good for disclipline problems.

[Racer277]

Have you ever monitored his caffeine intake?
You would be surprised at the effect one coke has on some people.
Good luck and God bless, I can pm more info if you are curious.
R277

[HCS]

That's a tough one. Maybe if you could get in interested in football or boxing.
My little brother was like that. We tried to straighten him out a bunch of times.
His temper landed his ass in jail. He like to beat up on cops. :eek:
After spending 5 years of his life in and out of jail and once in prison he
figured out that wasn't the way to go. Now he has a decent job and is doing
fine. That's a hard leason to learn but it staighted his ass out.
Good luck K-Flat. Bringing up kids can be rough. Somehow you have to keep
them occupied.

[Dribble]

One thing is for sure. He needs to know that you and his mother are a united front. If she doesn't agree with the way you handle something she should discuss it with you out of his presence. If you are both in total disagreement about how to discipline then quit now.
I have been there. My wife let the kids know who was boss. If she had a problem with the way I handled something, I heard about it later. The kids never did. She stopped me from clobbering the kid once and actually asked me to clobber one of them a couple of times. That's why we're still married.

[RiverOtter]

This will probably sound silly, but have you watched some of the cartoons these days. Most of the toon characters react with each other in extremes!! Look at Ed Edd and Eddie. Every response is extreme, yelling, hitting, veins popping. Kids immitate what they see. We really limit what our kids watch.

[CA Stu]

1-2-3 Magic : Effective Discipline for Children 2-12.
You can find it on Amazon.com .
The only comments I ever get on my kids is how well behaved and polite they are. I blame that on the missus.
I figure any asshole can have kids, but it takes character to actually RAISE children. Good for you for taking the initiative.
You mention that this is your stepson, that's a tough one though. I certainly wish you the best of luck.
Regards
CA Stu