The Guys rules (funny)

[PlyaPlya22]

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or boats n babes.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[Mrs. Restless22]

I dont have enough clothes....I need more shoes....
And YES...
shopping is a sport!! Its a great workout too :D :wink:

[Keithb87]

Good post.. :shift:

[topless]

That was good. Seems we girls have been humbled. :argue:

[PlyaPlya22]

I thought it would be a little humorous as I know everyone can relate. :) I don't want the ladies getting the wrong idea as you know:
PlyaPlya22<=========Loves all the ladies :p

[MsDrmr]

okay, shopping may not be a sport, but if you want us to dress victoria style, we have to get it somewhere,
think before you speak to prevent us from being angry or sad
mute the commericals instead of focusing on the beer commericals
if crying is blackmail, and it works. so be it
when we ask you to do something, we expect it done right, thats why we tell you how to do it.
we don't care too much about colors anyway
we dont necessarily want to know what your thinking (cause men usually don't) we want to prepare ourselves your next move
we have enough cloths, just as you have seen enough sports
We have too many shoes, as you have too much sex
and where round is a shape, it's supposed to be a fruit, not a body
thank you for reading this Now maybe you understand :D

[topless]

okay, shopping may not be a sport, but if you want us to dress victoria style, we have to get it somewhere,
think before you speak to prevent us from being angry or sad
mute the commericals instead of focusing on the beer commericals
if crying is blackmail, and it works. so be it
when we ask you to do something, we expect it done right, thats why we tell you how to do it.
we don't care too much about colors anyway
we dont necessarily want to know what your thinking (cause men usually don't) we want to prepare ourselves your next move
we have enough cloths, just as you have seen enough sports
We have too many shoes, as you have too much sex
and where round is a shape, it's supposed to be a fruit, not a body
thank you for reading this Now maybe you understand :D
OMG!!!!!!!!! Yea what she said :yuk:

[FRENCHIE]

I thought it would be a little humorous as I know everyone can relate. :) I don't want the ladies getting the wrong idea as you know:
PlyaPlya22<=========Loves all the ladies :p
yea, yea.....the wifey is gonna be readin this one tonight!! ;) :D

[PlyaPlya22]

yea, yea.....the wifey is gonna be readin this one tonight!! ;) :D
You know how we do it!! :eek:

[JustDawn]

:2purples: I'll bet I get one of those bad reputation comments that everyone keeps talking about :argue:
A study conducted by the UCLA Department of Psychiatry has revealed that
the
kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on
where
she is in her menstrual cycle.
For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged and
masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she is
more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and
a
bat jammed up his ass while he is on fire.
Further studies are expected.

[Mrs. Restless22]

:2purples: I'll bet I get one of those bad reputation comments that everyone keeps talking about :argue:
A study conducted by the UCLA Department of Psychiatry has revealed that
the
kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on
where
she is in her menstrual cycle.
For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged and
masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she is
more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and
a
bat jammed up his ass while he is on fire.
Further studies are expected.
Thats great!!!! :devil: :p :p

[JustDawn]

:cool: I figured some of the girls on the thread would enjoy it!

[topless]

LMAO!!!!! That was great
:2purples: I'll bet I get one of those bad reputation comments that everyone keeps talking about :argue:
A study conducted by the UCLA Department of Psychiatry has revealed that
the
kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on
where
she is in her menstrual cycle.
For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged and
masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she is
more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and
a
bat jammed up his ass while he is on fire.
Further studies are expected.

[JustDawn]

:cool: Glad you liked it. The men in my life know me so well..............it was one of them who sent it to me in the first place. Share it with your friends. Dawn

[PlyaPlya22]

That's definitely something that would have to be thought about :idea:

[JustDawn]

That's definitely something that would have to be thought about :idea:
:rolleyes: I kinda thought the ladies would share it with their friends. But if you reeaally want to..............you can too! :)

[HCS]

okay, shopping may not be a sport, but if you want us to dress victoria style, we have to get it somewhere,
think before you speak to prevent us from being angry or sad
mute the commericals instead of focusing on the beer commericals
if crying is blackmail, and it works. so be it
when we ask you to do something, we expect it done right, thats why we tell you how to do it.
we don't care too much about colors anyway
we dont necessarily want to know what your thinking (cause men usually don't) we want to prepare ourselves your next move
we have enough cloths, just as you have seen enough sports
We have too many shoes, as you have too much sex
and where round is a shape, it's supposed to be a fruit, not a body
thank you for reading this Now maybe you understand :D
Now, go sleep on the couch. :D

[PlyaPlya22]

is there any other place to sleep :rollside:

[IN2-IN2MX]

Hey! We may be difficult sometimes but you gotta love us, right? :D

[PlyaPlya22]

Hey! We may be difficult sometimes but you gotta love us, right? :D
PLYAPLYA22<=====Has much love for IN2-IN2MX

[FRENCHIE]

PLYAPLYA22<=====Has much love for IN2-IN2MX
sign me up too!!!! :p :eat:

[IN2-IN2MX]

:p PLYAPLYA22<=====Has much love for IN2-IN2MX
right back at'cha! :shift: :shift:
Don't you wish there was a kissy smiley?! Oh well, sending you one anyways.

[IN2-IN2MX]

sign me up too!!!! :p :eat:
Oh, and you don't get me started on that one. There's definitely not a smiley on here appropriate for you...well maybe this one ----> :p
;) :D

[beyondhelpin]

okay, shopping may not be a sport, but if you want us to dress victoria style, we have to get it somewhere,
think before you speak to prevent us from being angry or sad
mute the commericals instead of focusing on the beer commericals
if crying is blackmail, and it works. so be it
when we ask you to do something, we expect it done right, thats why we tell you how to do it.
we don't care too much about colors anyway
we dont necessarily want to know what your thinking (cause men usually don't) we want to prepare ourselves your next move
we have enough cloths, just as you have seen enough sports
We have too many shoes, as you have too much sex
and where round is a shape, it's supposed to be a fruit, not a body
thank you for reading this Now maybe you understand :D
Huh? Do what? Im sorry I wasnt listening......................Yea ok whatever. Grab me a beer while you are in there...ok.... :D :devil: :D

[Flyinbowtie]

A little too much JD tonite, I guess.
I just printed this off, and taped it to the bathroom mirror.
She gets up before I do, and will see it.
Hope she's in a good mood in the mornin' :crossx: g.

[IN2-IN2MX]

For your sake...I hope so too :)

[PlyaPlya22]

You Da Man Baby!! :d