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View Full Version : Kerry passes a law for kahanamoko



Steve 1
10-07-2004, 08:59 AM
AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT PASSES CONGRESS
May 23, 2005
WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress approved sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans.
The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA)
signed into law by President John Kerry shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.
"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Kerry, a longtime AWNAA supporter.
"This is why many of them voted for me. We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing," said Kerry.
President Kerry pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance.
Approximately 80 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability. Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement
"warehouse" stores (65%).
President Kerry has also set an example, personally selecting hundreds of Non-abled people for top government positions, including many cabinet-level jobs.
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.
Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in top positions, and gives a tax
credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?" and "Are you awake?" "As
a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable job skills.
"This new law should really help people like me."
With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Said Kerry, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation."

MagicMtnDan
10-07-2004, 09:10 AM
Good stuff - I like how you tailored it to our newest left-wing wacko...
BTW, this was posted already: http://www.***boat.com/forums/showthread.php?t=58556

1978 Rogers
10-07-2004, 10:11 AM
I posted this as a thread to, about 3 weeks ago. :eek:
It's still funny.

kahanamoko
10-07-2004, 10:33 AM
Good job posting the same crap over and over. Seems like I heard that before from someone. Now who was that? Hmmmmmm.............

Steve 1
10-07-2004, 10:42 AM
If the Shoe fits Leftie!!

JustMVG
10-07-2004, 10:47 AM
Good job posting the same crap over and over. Seems like I heard that before from someone. Now who was that? Hmmmmmm.............
Kahanamoko's Shortest post yet, KEEP UP THIS GOOD WORK K!!!!!
MikeVG

kahanamoko
10-07-2004, 10:50 AM
Kahanamoko's Shortest post yet, KEEP UP THIS GOOD WORK K!!!!!
MikeVG
MikeVG, Same to you.

Steve 1
10-07-2004, 11:09 AM
Remember these Liberal/Pinko Commies in real life are Nobodys.

kahanamoko
10-07-2004, 11:11 AM
Get yourself back to the doctor Steve1. The meds aren't working anymore.

Steve 1
10-07-2004, 11:49 AM
Get yourself back to the doctor Steve1. The meds aren't working anymore.
LOL hey your mother is barking for you..

Back Forty
10-07-2004, 12:14 PM
Hey Gas Pumper... I mean Kak, the soap dispenser in the shit can needs fillin'. Get off the porn box and do your job junior.

JustMVG
10-07-2004, 01:55 PM
MikeVG, Same to you.With your rapier wit thats the best you could do, i had high hopes for you K, but alas you have again failed.
Mike VG

Froggystyle
10-07-2004, 02:07 PM
The great news is I found another person to add to my ignore list

CrazyHippy
10-07-2004, 02:56 PM
The great news is I found another person to add to my ignore list
Sorry Froggy... I didn't mean to offend :rolleyes: Oh wait.. maybe i did :p
BJH
PS I know this wasn;t directed @ me, but i'm a smartass and had to say something :crossx: