JustDawn
10-09-2004, 08:19 AM
> How to Shower Like a Woman
> 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according
> to lights and darks.
> 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband
> along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
> 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
> more sit-ups
> 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
> loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
> 5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
> vitamins.
> 6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
> 7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with
> natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
> 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
> until red.
> 9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
> 10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
> 11. Shave armpits and legs.
> 12. Turn off shower.
> 13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with
> Tilex.
> 14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap
> hair in super absorbent towel.
> 15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
> 16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
> 17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
> AND NOW
> How To Shower Like a Man
> 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them
> in a pile.
> 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake
> wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
> 3. Look in the mirror, look at your wiener and scratch your ass.
> 4. Get in the shower.
> 5. Wash your face
> 6. Wash your armpits.
> 7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
> 8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they
> sound in the shower.
> 9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
> 10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
> 11. Shampoo your hair.
> 12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
> 13. Pee.
> 14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
> 15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain
> was hanging out of tub the whole time.
> 16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
> 17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
> 18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife,
> pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
> 19. Throw wet towel on bed.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according
> to lights and darks.
> 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband
> along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
> 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
> more sit-ups
> 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
> loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
> 5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
> vitamins.
> 6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
> 7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with
> natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
> 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
> until red.
> 9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
> 10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
> 11. Shave armpits and legs.
> 12. Turn off shower.
> 13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with
> Tilex.
> 14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap
> hair in super absorbent towel.
> 15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
> 16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
> 17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
> AND NOW
> How To Shower Like a Man
> 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them
> in a pile.
> 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake
> wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
> 3. Look in the mirror, look at your wiener and scratch your ass.
> 4. Get in the shower.
> 5. Wash your face
> 6. Wash your armpits.
> 7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
> 8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they
> sound in the shower.
> 9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
> 10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
> 11. Shampoo your hair.
> 12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
> 13. Pee.
> 14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
> 15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain
> was hanging out of tub the whole time.
> 16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
> 17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
> 18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife,
> pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
> 19. Throw wet towel on bed.
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>