Her454
11-11-2004, 03:19 PM
A middle aged woman went to a Wal-Mart service counter and tells the
clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work.
The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it
on 'special'. Suddenly, the woman throws her arms up in the air and
starts screaming!
"PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES!!"
The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in front of a
growing crowd of customers. The manager goes to the woman and asks,
"Ma'am what's wrong?" She explained the problem with the toaster, and
HE tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special
Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts
screaming,
"PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES!"
And doing so draws an even more HUGE crowd! In shock, the store
manager pleads, "Ma'am, why are you saying that? In a huff, the woman says,
"BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY NIPPLES PINCHED
WHEN I'M GETTING SCREWED!"
The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded!
******************************************
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. God works in Mysterious ways.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".
Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!"
The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...."
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever, evil bitches.
clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work.
The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it
on 'special'. Suddenly, the woman throws her arms up in the air and
starts screaming!
"PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES!!"
The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in front of a
growing crowd of customers. The manager goes to the woman and asks,
"Ma'am what's wrong?" She explained the problem with the toaster, and
HE tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special
Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts
screaming,
"PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES!"
And doing so draws an even more HUGE crowd! In shock, the store
manager pleads, "Ma'am, why are you saying that? In a huff, the woman says,
"BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY NIPPLES PINCHED
WHEN I'M GETTING SCREWED!"
The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded!
******************************************
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. God works in Mysterious ways.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".
Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!"
The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...."
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever, evil bitches.