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steelcomp
11-16-2004, 09:03 PM
There comes a time in all our lives when we're faced with the kind of reality that we'd rather not face, but without the ability to stop father time dead in his tracks, we have no choice.
This weekend was one of those times in my life.
I'm 46 yrs old and I am my father's child, a product of my up bringing, which, unfortunately, isn't my greatest bragging point, nor my most indearing quality. I have had difficulty with relationships all my life, and spend a lot of my time alone. But I am a compassionate person, and my greatest passion in life is for the miracles that surround us in this world which God has created. In my time I have traveled many miles across this great land of ours, and have seen so many wonderful things. I have met unforgettable people, experienced spectacular places, and one special and unique animal.
His name was Kayuna.
Kayuna was a 100 lb. Wolf Hybrid. He was 80% wolf...a cross between a North American Timber Wolf and Southern Red wolf and he was crossed with Austrailian Shepard. He was a stunning, strong, beautiful, intelligent animal with a disposition unlike any other. He was an alpha...the delegater. The leader. The intelligent one. No one's fool, yet so willing to please, protect, and serve.
He and I have had untold adventures as we have traveled across this country together. I enjoy keeping a silent audience as I tell our stories 'round campfires and with friends...stories that would amaze you. We were always at eachother's sides, unseperable, and for 15 years he was my friend, unconditionally forgiving, my companion, always there for me. My confidant, always willing to listen, never to judge. He was my pride and my joy. For 15 years his loyalty was never taken for granted, nor his truth in who he was, at least for me, for I honored his species, and the mystery and tales that accompany his ancestory. He was, by every definition, a Wolf. To look into his eyes, was to hear his voice, as his expressions were unmistakable. His eyes spoke, and there was an intensity...a depth to his look that was remarkable, as whitnessed by all who knew him, and were forever touched by his way and left with his impression. He thought, and reasoned. This was a creature of God who has a soul, and I know in my heart that soul still lives.
My reality this weekend was to realize that after almost fifteen years, his time had come, and was to pass. Sunday I laid my best friend in his final resting place. I said good by, and I cried, outloud and hard, and he was worthy of my tears.
Kayuna was extra special...one of those one in a million animals who defied all odds, and set new standards. His athletic ability and grace will always amaze me...to watch a 100 pound animal of his stature run down and catch a cottontail rabbit in an open field was a sight to behold...his agility and speed were incredible. On the other hand, to know the love and gentleness and effection he posessed was no less extreme, and no less than a blessing for me. He loved and was protective of children, and was never less than perfect around and with them. He was not aggressive, yet he was protective with all the might of mother nature herself. He could sense your conscience, and he knew bad people from good...proved accurate over and over again through the years.
Don't get me wrong...he was no Angel...he was the Alpha, and that meant that in his mind, I was his, not he, mine. His instinct was to serve the pack, and also to lead it. I was his pack. There was a constant battle for dominance between the two of us...he finally decided it was easier for him to let me think I was in charge. Often enough, though, he would remind me otherwise. He was the definition of strong willed, and that never changed.
The reason for my sharing this is that I am sad, and grieving, and thought I would do something to glorify this great creature who I just happened to be lucky enough to cross paths in life with. I tought I would share just a glimpse of who he was with those of you who have been given the blessing of compassion for animals, and who know what it is to lose the kind of companion that one can be. Top that off by having the experience of living with one of the most mysterious and incredible animals on the planet...the Wolf, and you can see why I miss him so. I needed to talk about him, glorify him, and praise him, and I thank everyone of you who took the time to read this. Thank you for indulging me in my healing process. May you have as wonderful an experience in the life of...and in the passing of that person or thing which you hold as dear as I did, and will continue to do. My friend. My wolf, Kayuna.
God Bless.

ratso
11-16-2004, 09:09 PM
...wow... :(

cdog
11-16-2004, 09:10 PM
Sorry about your loss. Show a picture of him.

Infomaniac
11-16-2004, 09:11 PM
:frown: :frown: :frown: :frown: :frown:

Mrs.Racer277
11-16-2004, 09:12 PM
I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

BarryMac
11-16-2004, 09:12 PM
My condolences, sounds like he was a great companion to you, he'll be with you forever in memory...

mike37
11-16-2004, 09:13 PM
sorry you lost you friend

HCS
11-16-2004, 09:13 PM
I cried when I lost my dog of 13 years. :jawdrop:

switchin'addiction
11-16-2004, 09:13 PM
Steelcomp I am being absolutly sincere when I say that was truly touching. The connections we have with our pets are like none other & I am sorry for your loss.

Kachina26
11-16-2004, 09:20 PM
Truly sorry for your loss. Wish I could make it less painful :(

jbtrailerjim
11-16-2004, 09:21 PM
Sorry for the loss of your best friend. :( :( :(

little rowe boat
11-16-2004, 09:24 PM
Very sorry for the loss.Last month I had to say goodbye to my dear friend of almost 14yrs. :( I still hurt over the loss.When you have a pet that touches you that way,it kind of ruins it for any pets you may have in the future,they can never live up to your expectations.

Squirtin Thunder
11-16-2004, 09:24 PM
Dammm that was very good and true to the fact. Being that I know you I can see the pain. He will be missed.
Scott,
My animals, two dogs and cat have been at my side this whole time I have been struk with this and they wake me if I fall a sleep in the wrong spot or check on me to make sure I am OK. As I write this all three are right here with me. Turus is more so concerned it is his heritage. You know that with the wolf breeds.
Thank you for sharing
Jim

Big_Gunz_
11-16-2004, 09:24 PM
Sorry for the loss, my condolences to you

steelcomp
11-16-2004, 09:25 PM
Kayuna.
You guys are makin me cry...thanks. I mean it. :cool: :cool:
http://www.***boat.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=7610&stc=1

Mrs.Racer277
11-16-2004, 09:28 PM
Kayuna.
You guys are makin me cry...thanks. I mean it. :cool: :cool:
http://www.***boat.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=7610&stc=1
Beautiful dog! I cried to. You will always have him in your heart. :)

Cas
11-16-2004, 09:29 PM
wow is right! That was one of the best posts I've read on a forum in many years. It was obviously written from the heart.
Thank you Steelcomp for sharing your experience with us, you did an excellent job.
I too lost an animal that I truly loved, I know what you're going through. In time, you learn to live with the loss, just never forgot.

wildbillg
11-16-2004, 09:32 PM
they are our firends, they are our loves.
we care for them, they protect us.
we feed them with morsels, and they feed our souls with love.
only remember the good, forget the bad, we all have a side to us that we never show, even when they hurt they still love us so.
our dogs are are our friends and companions.
remember the good things that is why they are called memories, you can call them up at any time and bring a smile to your face. even when they are gone they are allways in our hearts and in our souls.
I feel for you, I had to put one of mine down two years ago on my birrthday.
remember all the good and youll allways smile inside.... :smile:

Tequila-John
11-16-2004, 09:34 PM
Thanks for sharing and sorry for your loss.

Misogynist
11-16-2004, 09:35 PM
I felt the same way when I had to put down my Great Dane... I had him for 13 years... that's a long time for his breed... He was very healty until 10.. then it was all downhill. At the end he could barely walk. It's bad enough to lose an animal that you consider a member of the family. But to put them down is unbearable. I still get teary eyed thinking about him... and he's been gone 15 years. He was truly MY first dog... not a family dog, MY dog. Whenever I open an old box of things I still run onto some of his hairs and it brings back memories.... :frown:

JetBoatRich
11-16-2004, 09:35 PM
Sorry to read about the passing of yur FRIEND, sounds like you had a lot of fun together. Thanks for sharing your feelings through your post, he was a lucky dog

LHC30Victory
11-16-2004, 09:36 PM
Excellent eulogy - Kayuna is as proud of you as you are of him. Animals have an ability to be more of a friend than many people. They also can be more family than many blood relatives. I have a half wolf, half german shepard and know a little of what you speak. You were, no are, blessed for your time together and are better for it.
May your pain ease but your memories always remain.

IN2-IN2MX
11-16-2004, 09:36 PM
I'm speechless. Your words are beautiful. I am sorry.

Rock-A-Bye-Baby
11-16-2004, 09:37 PM
it is great to see that there are people like yourself that are so thankful and aware of such a unique relationship. i am sorry it had to end.
i've lost a dog that undoubtedly mine. all i had to do was look at him and he would come to me. where as my wife would have to call his name a couple of times just to get his attention. he got hit by a car and i lost him.
i am sorry for your loss.

2440
11-16-2004, 09:39 PM
Steelcomp, man thats a heavy post. I am SO sorry for your loss of your best friend,as a community I bet we all wish we could take away some of your pain. again sorry for your loss
fo.....
2440

My Man's Sportin' Wood
11-16-2004, 09:43 PM
That was awesome. Thanks for sharing your moving words. It is a wonderful tribute to a wonderful creature. Now he's running in the land of the Great Spirit with that trickster the coyote.
Angie <----still teary eyed

steelcomp
11-16-2004, 09:48 PM
wow....I'm so overwhelmed by all your kind words...I'm sorry for your losses as well.
He was very old in the end, and I know he's in a better place now.
Thank you again for your kindness. It helps a lot. :)

Squirtin Thunder
11-16-2004, 09:52 PM
Donna just read it and left crying !!! Have you ever thought about writing ???
Jim
BTW - It grabbed me by the balls

little rowe boat
11-16-2004, 09:54 PM
The only thing that helps me is knowing that he is no longer in any pain. :(

RiverKitty
11-16-2004, 10:00 PM
Steelcomp...so sorry to hear of your loss. :frown:
Your post brought tears to my eyes.
In many ways, it's like loosing a family member.
He will always be kept alive in your heart and memories.
My sincere condoloences. ~RK

Boy Named Sue
11-16-2004, 10:08 PM
Scott,
I had a dog named Ruckus that I still think is playing in the Salinas River in the sky. Maybe they'll hook up during the dog days of summer. Kayuna looked like a scrappy pup. Hang in there.
Chuck e.

ROZ
11-16-2004, 10:26 PM
Steelcomp, Thank you for sharing the loss of a life long friend. It appears that you taught each other well...
God Bless :)

Huckleberry
11-17-2004, 06:41 AM
Sorry for the loss of your pup. They're truly family members and it always hurts when ya lose one. :(

ahhell
11-17-2004, 06:55 AM
Very sorry for your loss....Most dogs are better than most people.........

OGShocker
11-17-2004, 06:58 AM
I am so sorry for your loss. Imagine him running down those cottontails in Heaven. That is how I see my buddy Clyde. Free from the confines of age and pain.
Thanks for the wonderful look at Kayuna's life.

vdrivenman
11-17-2004, 06:59 AM
i lost my partner(Lex-Luger) 18 months ago when a coward poisoned him while we were off duty. at home he had free run of the acreage and was our pet.
he was an awsum friend at home & partner on the job!
i can associate with your loss!

PHX ATC
11-17-2004, 07:26 AM
God bless you and Kayuna.
Time will heal the pain, but the memories last a lifetime. Keep them close. :( :)

Tremor Therapy
11-17-2004, 07:37 AM
Although you grieve, he is now truely free! Feel blessed to have spent time with one of god's most unique creatures.

1stepcloser
11-17-2004, 07:51 AM
:frown: :frown: :cry: :frown: :frown:

Havasu_Dreamin
11-17-2004, 08:15 AM
Sorry to hear that. Having been through it twice now I know it is difficult. :frown:

Mrs CP 19
11-17-2004, 08:53 AM
Just this side of heaven lies the Rainbow Bridge.
When a beloved pet dies, it goes to the Rainbow Bridge.It makes freinds with other animals and frolics over rolling hills and peaceful, lush meadows of green.
Our pets do not thirst or hunger. The old and sick are made young once more; the maimed and ill become healed and strong. They are as healthy and playful as we remember them is days gone by.
Though happy and content, they still miss someone special, someone they had to leave behind.
Together, the animals chase and play, but the day comes when a pet will suddenly stop and look in the distance...bright eyes intent, eager body quivering. Suddenly recognizing you, your pet bounds quickly across the green fields and into your embrace. You celebrate in joyous reunion. You will never seperate again. Happy tears and kisses are warm and plenty; your hands carress the face you missed. You look once more into the loving eyes of your pet, and know you never really parted. You realize that though out of sight, your love has been remembered.
And now, you cross the Rainbow Bridge together.
This has always helped me, hopes it helps you in your time of loss...Jill

Her454
11-17-2004, 09:20 AM
I am truly sorry for your loss. Traci
Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is
more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.
Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand
between the blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly
teach me the things you would have me do.
Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music, as you
must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon
my waiting ear.
When it is cold and wet, please take me inside... for I am now a
domesticated animal, no longer used to bitter elements... and I ask no
greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the
hearth... though had you no home, I would rather follow you through ice
and snow than rest upon the softest pillow in the warmest home in all
the land... for you are my god... and I am your devoted worshiper.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I should not reproach
you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean
food, that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to
walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with
my life, should your life be in danger.
And, beloved master, should the Great Master see fit to deprive me of my
health or sight, hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest...and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.

Squirtin Thunder
11-17-2004, 10:11 AM
Mrs CP19 and Her454,
Those are very nice and they should help Scott a bit. Scott took excelant care of his dog and they seemed to be almost one at times. It is funny when you talk to someone on the phone and there dog starts to talk or make sounds in the back ground, just wanting to say hi.
I never have quite understood why we love our pets as much as we do but we do. I have my 2 dogs and cat right here at my side kind of gets old tripping over them but they just seem to wonder what is happening to me. It is kind of wierd how they know someting is wrong. They have become more protective of me being sick.
Jim

Her454
11-17-2004, 10:15 AM
Mrs CP19 and Her454,
I never have quite understood why we love our pets as much as we do but we do.
Jim
I think its simply because they love us unconditionally, period.

Ducatista
11-17-2004, 10:22 AM
Damn....brought tears to my eyes as I read you're words from the heart, take care & hang in there. :frown:

MRS. MAINEVENT
11-17-2004, 10:33 AM
Your post was heart-felt and makes me so sad for your loss, thank you for sharing those words with us.

syke-o
11-17-2004, 10:38 AM
i too am sitting here teary eyed.... i lost a childhood dog when i was 14 and was very sad... but i now have my own dog that is 3 years old and i could not imagine not having him around.. i think any animal owner/lover feels your pain :(

Rev. Williams
11-17-2004, 10:39 AM
Wow, That hit me hard!! Kinda odd to be sitting here at work with eyes full of tears.......
The once I saw the pic you posted I lost it :frown: :cry: :frown:
I've always felt, The more you hurt the luckier you should feel to of had such a special friend in your life.
Thank you for sharing this....

esabataj
11-17-2004, 11:41 AM
This is one of the neatest stories I've ever heard and Steelcomp from your heartfelt post I know that you can understand what this little girl was talking about.
"Danielle keeps repeating it over and over again. We've been back to this animal shelter at least five times. It has been weeks now since we started all this," the mother told the volunteer.
"What is it she keeps asking for?" the volunteer asked.
"Puppy size!" replied the mother.
"Well, we have plenty of puppies, if thats what she's looking for."
"I know...we have seen most of them," the mom said in frustration...
Just then Danielle came walking into the office.
"Well, did you find one?" asked her mom. "No, not this time," Danielle said with sadness in her voice. "Can we come back this weekend?"
The two women looked at each other, shook their heads and laughed.
"You never know when we will get more dogs. Unfortunately, there's always a supply," the volunteer said.
Danielle took her mother by the hand and headed to the door. "Don't worry, I'll find one this weekend," she said.
Over the next few days both mom and dad had long conversations with her. They both felt she was being too particular. "It's this weekend or we're not looking any morre," Dad finally said in frustration. "We don't want to hear anythig more about puppy size either," Mom added.
Sure enough, they were the first ones in the shelter on Saturday morning. By now Danielle knew her way around, so she ran right for the section that housed the smaller dogs. Tired of the routine, mom sat in the small waiting room at the end of the first row of cages.
Ther was an observation window so you could see the animals during times when visitors weren't permitted. Danielle walked slowly from cage to cage, kneeling to take a closer look. One by one the dogs were brought out and she held each one. One by one she said,
"Sorry, you're not the one."
It was the last cage on this last day in search of the perfect pup.
The volunteer opened the cage door and the child carefully picked up the dog and held it closely. This time it took a little longer. "Mom, that's it!" she screamed with joy. "It's puppy size!"
"But it's the same size as all the other puppies you held over the last few weeks," Mom said.
"No not size---The sighs. When I held him in my arms, he sighed," she said.
"Don't you remember? When I asked you one day what love is, you told me love depends on the sighs of your heart. The more you love, the bigger the sigh!"
The two women looked at each other for a moment. Mom didn't know whether to laugh or cry. As she stooped down to hug the child, she did a little of both.
"Mom, every time you hold me, I sigh. When you and Daddy come home from work and hug each other, you both sigh. I knew I would find the right puppy if it sighed when I held it in my arms," she said. Then holding the puppy up close to her face she said,"Mom, he loves me. I heard the sighs of his heart!"
________________________________________________
, Close your eyes for a moment and think about the love that makes you sigh. I not only find it in the arms of my loved ones, but in the caress of a sunset, the kiss of the moonlight and the gentle brush of cool air on a hot day.
They are the sighs of God. Take time to stop and listen; you will be surprised at what you will hear. "Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
Truly steelcomp I can tell that Kayuna provided you with many of these breath taking moments.I honestly believe that God sends his angels to surround us with his love, and feel that Kayuna was sent to you for that purpose.
May God rest his soul and comfort you during this time of loss.
Richard

AvengerBabe
11-17-2004, 11:51 AM
There comes a time in all our lives when we're faced with the kind of reality that we'd rather not face, but without the ability to stop father time dead in his tracks, we have no choice.
This weekend was one of those times in my life.
I'm 46 yrs old and I am my father's child, a product of my up bringing, which, unfortunately, isn't my greatest bragging point, nor my most indearing quality. I have had difficulty with relationships all my life, and spend a lot of my time alone. But I am a compassionate person, and my greatest passion in life is for the miracles that surround us in this world which God has created. In my time I have traveled many miles across this great land of ours, and have seen so many wonderful things. I have met unforgettable people, experienced spectacular places, and one special and unique animal.
His name was Kayuna.
Kayuna was a 100 lb. Wolf Hybrid. He was 80% wolf...a cross between a North American Timber Wolf and Southern Red wolf and he was crossed with Austrailian Shepard. He was a stunning, strong, beautiful, intelligent animal with a disposition unlike any other. He was an alpha...the delegater. The leader. The intelligent one. No one's fool, yet so willing to please, protect, and serve.
He and I have had untold adventures as we have traveled across this country together. I enjoy keeping a silent audience as I tell our stories 'round campfires and with friends...stories that would amaze you. We were always at eachother's sides, unseperable, and for 15 years he was my friend, unconditionally forgiving, my companion, always there for me. My confidant, always willing to listen, never to judge. He was my pride and my joy. For 15 years his loyalty was never taken for granted, nor his truth in who he was, at least for me, for I honored his species, and the mystery and tales that accompany his ancestory. He was, by every definition, a Wolf. To look into his eyes, was to hear his voice, as his expressions were unmistakable. His eyes spoke, and there was an intensity...a depth to his look that was remarkable, as whitnessed by all who knew him, and were forever touched by his way and left with his impression. He thought, and reasoned. This was a creature of God who has a soul, and I know in my heart that soul still lives.
My reality this weekend was to realize that after almost fifteen years, his time had come, and was to pass. Sunday I laid my best friend in his final resting place. I said good by, and I cried, outloud and hard, and he was worthy of my tears.
Kayuna was extra special...one of those one in a million animals who defied all odds, and set new standards. His athletic ability and grace will always amaze me...to watch a 100 pound animal of his stature run down and catch a cottontail rabbit in an open field was a sight to behold...his agility and speed were incredible. On the other hand, to know the love and gentleness and effection he posessed was no less extreme, and no less than a blessing for me. He loved and was protective of children, and was never less than perfect around and with them. He was not aggressive, yet he was protective with all the might of mother nature herself. He could sense your conscience, and he knew bad people from good...proved accurate over and over again through the years.
Don't get me wrong...he was no Angel...he was the Alpha, and that meant that in his mind, I was his, not he, mine. His instinct was to serve the pack, and also to lead it. I was his pack. There was a constant battle for dominance between the two of us...he finally decided it was easier for him to let me think I was in charge. Often enough, though, he would remind me otherwise. He was the definition of strong willed, and that never changed.
The reason for my sharing this is that I am sad, and grieving, and thought I would do something to glorify this great creature who I just happened to be lucky enough to cross paths in life with. I tought I would share just a glimpse of who he was with those of you who have been given the blessing of compassion for animals, and who know what it is to lose the kind of companion that one can be. Top that off by having the experience of living with one of the most mysterious and incredible animals on the planet...the Wolf, and you can see why I miss him so. I needed to talk about him, glorify him, and praise him, and I thank everyone of you who took the time to read this. Thank you for indulging me in my healing process. May you have as wonderful an experience in the life of...and in the passing of that person or thing which you hold as dear as I did, and will continue to do. My friend. My wolf, Kayuna.
God Bless.
That was beautiful... I'm very sorry to hear about your loss

hot_diggity_dog
11-17-2004, 11:52 AM
Wow Steel you have put into words how many of us feel about our Dogs.
This really hits home as we our childless and treat our dogs as our kids.
I'm sorry for the loss of you best friend!!!!
HDD :(

Rexone
11-17-2004, 01:24 PM
As I read your words I wept along with you as though your friend was my own. As I have lost 3 of my own now similarly I'm familiar with the pain you feel. While we know they are in a better place it is still so hard to let go. Hang in there, better days will come.

Ultra5150
11-17-2004, 01:41 PM
There are not alot of things in this world that grown men would admit to crying over. My best friend called me other day with his voice quaking and told me he had lost his Bambi and told me "I cried like a little bitch". I told him not to feel bad, next month will be a year since we lost Blanka, and that I cried as she took her last breath in my arms.
The hardest part for both of us, was telling our children that their faithful companion that they have know all their lives was not coming home anymore. I never thought that a 6 year old could cry the way my daughter cried that night.
I feel for you my friend.

jdf
11-17-2004, 02:00 PM
wow we too are childless but we have 3 mini shuzr. and one pit bull one of the shurz got sick and boy did we have a cow ...1 week at the vet .and she was better.. so i know the feeling you have

Moneypitt
11-17-2004, 02:18 PM
Wow, thats all I can type right now.......