Chuck Norris has counted to Infinity. Twice!

[MagicMtnDan]

1. Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
2. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
3. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
5. There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
6. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
7. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
8. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
9. Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.
10. Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/images/chuck_norris_facts.png

[78Eliminator]

Wow, look at that picture of Chuck. He looks like a monkey!!!!!!

[RUSSO]

Superman Wears Chuck Norris Pj's To Bed.

[sorry dog]

Chuck Norris can never die. Every thirty years Chuck Norris gives birth to himself. A fully adult, fully clothed, fully bearded Chuck Norris, equipped with all the skills and knowledge of the previous Chuck Norris. Including round house kicking skills, black magic, and the timeless art of seduction.
Chuck Norris embodies the only matter known to have escaped a black hole.
Chuck Norris ran the mile after the Five-Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique was used on him.
Jaws made his last cinematic appearance in 1983. Coincidentally, Chuck Norris developped a liking for sushi in 1983.
Chuck Norris' sperm is so fertile, when he bangs a chick in America, another chick in China gets pregnant.
When Chuck Norris falls asleep time stops out of fear of waking him up, thus creating the illusion that Chuck never sleeps.
Vampires usually follow Chuck from a distance; they know he's always where the blood's at.
While lost in the forest, Chuck Norris had unprotected sex with a grizzly bear, accidently creating the killing machine known as Teddy Ruxpin.
According to the Geneva Convention, Chuck Norris is not allowed to be used as a first strike weapon.
...and for JBB
The reason emo bands are so emo is because they are being persecuted by Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris hates emos.

[syke-o]

When the boogeyman goes to sleep he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris

[Jbb]

As a teen Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

[Jbb]

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

[sorry dog]

Chuck Norris was born Charles Edwin Norris III. Despite being mere minutes old, he grabbed his birth certificate and roundhouse-kicked it up his father's ass because, as he said, "I will never get any pussy with the name Charles. From now on, call me Chuck... because it rhymes with ****."

[sorry dog]

Since Chuck Norris began speaking at high schools about teenage pregnancy, unplanned pregnancies are down 100%. He has planned every one.

[NorCal Gameshow]

Chuck Norris could kick infinity's A$$
Does anyone have a picture of ben stiller at the end of dodgeball. when he's fat and saying F'n chuck norris ?
a pic or a link to the pic would be greatly appreciated.

[YeLLowBoaT]

Women do not have periods. the bleeding is cuased by having sex with chuck norris.
I know, I know its wrong.

[MagicMtnDan]

Even the IRS is afraid of Chuck Norris :220v: