Sexual harrassment at High School

[topless]

My daughter has been continually touched by a boy at school in inappropriate ways. She has asked him to stop many many times but he continued to do it. Well today, she told a good friend what has been happening and when he saw the boy do it again, he hit him and it turned into a big fight. Her friend was arrested for assault/battery and the other kids parents are pressing charges. Now my daughter wants me to call his parent and tell them to drop the charges or I will file sexual harrament charges on him. I am calling them I just don't know about pressing charges on a 9th grader but what would you do? My daughter feels terrible for her friend because he was defending her honor.

[Havasu_Dreamin]

Unfortuntely, and at the risk of getting flamed, I'd let the courts take care of it. If your daughter is willing to, have her work with the DA and perhaps the DA will not file cahrges. Ultimately, the decision to file charges resides with the DA and if your daughter can shed light on the situation that may play a factor in the decision making process. Regardless, I'd call the parents of the kid that was inappropriately touching your daughter and inform them that you plan on pressing charges regardless of what happens to your daughters friend. If someone touches you without your permission I believe it is battery. Any of the LEO's on here can correct me if I'm wrong.

[LAPII]

Set-up a meeting with the principal, with all parties involved including you and your daughter. Have the principal sit in as a neutral party and inform the "touching boy's" parents what he was doing , so the "defender boy's" parents know he was not in wrong. I'm sure after the WHOLE story air's out then there should be no law enforcement actions.

[beer hunter]

Call the kids parents (the harassers) and do just what you're daughter suggested, tell them you'll give it a pass this time but if it ever happens again "it will be a Big Deal" I'd also call the school and tell them the same thing...your daughters friend gets back in school without any disciplinary action or else! :eat:

[topless]

My daughter called me crying from school this morning but wouldn't tell me what happened until now. The more I think about it the angrier I get and yes, I am calling them.

[topless]

The whole thing is bullshit because the other kids parents are the ones who called the cops. The cops were also questioning my daughter too so it is on file anyway.

[XtrmWakeborder]

My cousin did the same thing in almost the same situation, he beat up some kid harrassing his g/f "not sexually though" Sad thing is the parents of the kid he beat up had alot of money and he got 6 months in juvi. I would deffinately call up the parents and threaten them, sexual harrassment is no joke.

[HOOTER SLED-]

Damn I'm glad I have boys. I feel for you Topless. If it were my daughter and I knew. I would've given the ****er one warning, and one warning only. Regardless of the consequences. Good luck. I would threaten sexual harassment also. With the threat of charges on the other boy, sounds like they wanna play hardball. Suit up and step to the plate. Hope you bat a thousand. :lightsabe

[MsDrmr]

Hon I am gonna tell you the same thing you told me when Drake was getting followed in the field behind our house.
You know what to do.......now do it!!!!!!!

[hoolign]

I am pretty sure your daughter has grounds for an assault charge for the punk touching her, it's more than sexual harrassment! Any unwanted touching is assault!, possibly even sexual assault. I'd run that card by his parents! but not before getting legal advice, there should be a legal advice line you could call right now to find out forsure!
Good luck and Kudos to the kid that stuck up for her!..sounds like a hooligan :idea:

[msimpson]

I teach at a high school. I agree with deck boat!

[Boatcop]

Don't tell them you won't file harrasment charges if they drop the assault charge. It will make it look like a blackmail situation and the harrasment claim will lose credibility. File the charges no matter what.
It can all be settled in arbitration between the friend and the toucher. Your daughter, even though the assault came from actions against her, is not a party to the assault.
Her claim of harrasment is separate.
As far as the physical assault goes, violence isn't a solution when there are other avenues available. Your daughter could have to come to you, a teacher, advisor, etc. The friend has to learn, albeit the hard way, that punching another kid isn't the right action, unless it's to overcome immediate physical violence against him or another.

[Kilrtoy]

Ok first off it is not sexual harrassment it is sexual battery, Which means the offender when and if convicted , will have to register with the state for the rest of their LIFE as a registered sex offender. If he was touch skin or the genitals it becomes a felony, If he penitrated it is also a felony and alot more than sexual battery. With that said, if you call the parents explain to them what there son was doing and why he got beat up, also advise them they may want to read the California Penal Code and you can start with
243.2.(A)2 and 243. E 1
That will make them change their minds real quickly, and if not , the thought of having their son spend the rest of his life as a sex offender, well that speaks for itself

[058]

Topless, Your daughter's friend should be given a metal for standing up to protect your daughter. The molester should have had his ass kicked. I hope the little twerp had to endure a stay in the hospital and some time in the slammer when he gets out of the hospital. Fu*k his parents too.

[bunny 166]

The whole thing is bullshit because the other kids parents are the ones who called the cops. The cops were also questioning my daughter too so it is on file anyway.
Do they have a right to question your daughter without you being present?? She's a minor... Help me out, LEO's out there ... Kilr... Personally, I'd be at that boy's house PRONTO if it were my girl

[THOR]

I would honestly tell them what Kilrtoy just said because he is right. Anytime a person willfully advances and contact is made, it becomes assault and that needs to be explained to the boy's parents.

[unleashed]

This is a no win situation. Your daughter should have come to you sooner. Now its going to look like blackmail as someone has suggested above. Bottom line is I dont think he'll be bothering her again. You can try and call the parents of the boy but if the boy doesnt confess its not going to look good. Besides most parents get blinded by bloodline and believe there kids are innocent. Now if she has witnesses to the sexual harrasment than go forward with pressing charges otherwise it will be he said/she said and we all know how those end.
Deano
Unleashedclothing (http://www.unleashedclothing.com)

[LilHarley]

Unfortunately, I don't believe that the original advancements would be covered under sexual harassment. If I'm not mistaken, sexual harassment is a form of sex discrimination that violates Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and applies to employers with 15 or more employees, including state and local governments. It also applies to employment agencies and to labor organizations, as well as to the federal government. I believe you may have a better chance using Kilroys suggestion of sexual battery. I'm glad your daughters friend stood up for her, it's getting harder and harder to find people to help others in difficult situations :D

[mike37]

Don't tell them you won't file harrasment charges if they drop the assault charge. It will make it look like a blackmail situation and the harrasment claim will lose credibility. File the charges no matter what.
It can all be settled in arbitration between the friend and the toucher. Your daughter, even though the assault came from actions against her, is not a party to the assault.
Her claim of harrasment is separate.
As far as the physical assault goes, violence isn't a solution when there are other avenues available. Your daughter could have to come to you, a teacher, advisor, etc. The friend has to learn, albeit the hard way, that punching another kid isn't the right action, unless it's to overcome immediate physical violence against him or another.
in a perfect world but telling the teachers and the principle would have not got any results schools like to play the its not as bad as that and shove it under the carpet bs
toples prass charges and dont give in the little shit neeeds to be in jail
your dotors friend did a good thing and my need to pay but if you do your part it will be worth it to him
sorry boatcop but somtimes you gota fight

[Kilrtoy]

Schools are mandated by law to notify Law enforcement and they are required to report these crimes to the state daily, They are being held accountable and have a lot stricter rules than ever before.. Schools now know it is easier to call the police than wash it away, because they now can be held liable....

[mike37]

Schools are mandated by law to notify Law enforcement and they are required to report these crimes to the state daily, They are being held accountable and have a lot stricter rules than ever before.. Schools now know it is easier to call the police than wash it away, because they now can be held liable....
since when??????

[Raisin Wake]

I teach middle school, don't worry about pressing charges on a ninth grader. We have seventh and eigth graders in juvi. You have to let these punks know they can't get away with this stuff. Your daughters school should have a police officer on campus. Just call the school and ask him about it. He can advise you on the legalities of pressing charges. Also, make sure that you get the school administration involved. That will make sure the situation gets taken care of.
Good luck.

[Cantrip]

I wish I was sexually harrased in high school :squiggle:

[Kilrtoy]

since when??????
California Safe Schools Assessment Reporting enacted if I remember correctly in 1998 or 1999.
If schools in your area are not following this, the disctrict can receive fines and moneys from the fedreal and state levels can be with held until complice is gained...

[coolchange]

I just went throught this although a LITTLE different. My SON was being assualted by a GUY at a dance. He kept trying to kiss him(????). He told him in front of his friends if he tried it again he would hit him. He tried and was warned off again. He came again and my son clocked him. Blew his mouth open. ( he's a pitcher) The next day I could tell he was upset but wouldnt spill. Then finaly he told us what happened. I figured I had to be ready to do battle and was prepared to file sexual assault charges but I really didn't want to. I figure you handle it like a man and its over. On Monday one of the girls told the Principal what happened and that kid was out of there in 15 minutes. The thing that impressed me most was my son was really upset and I finaly got him to talk about it after he settled down. With tears in his eyes he said he felt realy bad for the other kid and didn't know he could hurt someone so bad with one punch. KILRTOY and othres are right. That kid stood up for your daughter like a man. Dont leave him hangin.

[Desert Rat]

Pressing charges?? Damn we need get everybody off this sue shit. Let the parents get together and figure it out without any f'n lawyers. I'm am getting SO sick of this sue crap. If (and when) my son gets in a fight we will have one of many man to man talks on the whole aspect of starting/finishing a fight and when to walk away. We have already talked about it but it never sinks in untill the real thing happens. God I hope he doesn't kick the shit out of some son of a left wing sue happy piece of shit!! The boy did right standing up for you daughter. Some in this world need to be SHOWN what NO means! By all means get all partys together and try and settle it. If I found out my son got his ass kicked for gropping it would be only be the beginning of the beating!!

[Kilrtoy]

Pressing charges?? Damn we need get everybody off this sue shit. Let the parents get together and figure it out without any f'n lawyers. I'm am getting SO sick of this sue crap. If (and when) my son gets in a fight we will have one of many man to man talks on the whole aspect of starting/finishing a fight and when to walk away. We have already talked about it but it never sinks in untill the real thing happens. God I hope he doesn't kick the shit out of some son of a left wing sue happy piece of shit!! The boy did right standing up for you daughter. Some in this world need to be SHOWN what NO means! By all means get all partys together and try and settle it. If I found out my son got his ass kicked for gropping it would be only be the beginning of the beating!!
I will have to read all the post again, BUT I dont recall anyone saying SUE.
At what point do you fail to protect yourself. As boys growing up they do this dumb shit, im sure all of us have snapped a girls bra or pinched her butt. But when the girl s tells you ok, Stop now, you need to stop. This young man obviously thought NO meant YES and continued with his ways. Granted the young lady should have told her mother after the first incident, but she did not, she is young and we all make these errors as young adults. But lets continue, the boy crossed the line several times. A male friends did what most boys their age would do and he took care of business. Well, the sexual abuser told his parents, but failed to say what proceed the physical incident(IM GUESSING HERE). Im sure if his parents knew the whole story, they would have a different view.
Im NOT saying this is the case here, but as parents, we fail to speak to our children and make them feel comfortable about all subjects. This is our own fault.

[MudPumper]

Don't tell them you won't file harrasment charges if they drop the assault charge. It will make it look like a blackmail situation and the harrasment claim will lose credibility. File the charges no matter what.
It can all be settled in arbitration between the friend and the toucher. Your daughter, even though the assault came from actions against her, is not a party to the assault.
Her claim of harrasment is separate.
As far as the physical assault goes, violence isn't a solution when there are other avenues available. Your daughter could have to come to you, a teacher, advisor, etc. The friend has to learn, albeit the hard way, that punching another kid isn't the right action, unless it's to overcome immediate physical violence against him or another.
What Boat Cop said. Two seperate situations, violence isn't the answer, boy needs to be tought a lesson although I understand his motivation, your daughter should have said something to somebody the first time it happend and especially when it happened again. Also, you shouldn't call the kids parents. Go to the administrators at the school and get them and the police involved to deal with the boy and his parents. Calling and threatening them probably won't solve anything. Good luck. :wink:
One more thing. Your daughter should have kneed the kid in the nuts and then told on him the first time it happened. :D

[Floored]

My daughter went to school authorities and they did nothing so next time it happened she broke his nose in front of his friends. no charges filed and 1 day of suspension, he got a week. She never got bothered again. Apple Valley high wouldn't let the sheriff file a sexual harrassment charge.

[bunny 166]

My daughter went to school authorities and they did nothing so next time it happened she broke his nose in front of his friends. no charges filed and 1 day of suspension, he got a week. She never got bothered again. Apple Valley high wouldn't let the sheriff file a sexual harrassment charge.
That's my kinda girl!! You're teaching her right, Dad! Gotta be able to hold your own, unfortunately. Sad to hear administration chose to look the other way, but she handled it just fine! :wink: :wink:

[BigDogIvan]

My daughter went to school authorities and they did nothing so next time it happened she broke his nose in front of his friends. no charges filed and 1 day of suspension, he got a week. She never got bothered again. Apple Valley high wouldn't let the sheriff file a sexual harrassment charge.
Thats the thing that realy pisses me off obout this state. A child goes to a school official with a complaint and they foo foo it off or him ha around. A child shows up to school with a scratch and you have more state officials knocking on your door than you know what to do with.
Topless. If you can get all parties involved together with there parents and hammer this out. Make sure there is someone from the school so that hopefully they will see the light and take the best line of action if needed. If not make sure that your daughter is heard on what led up to the fight. Bottom line make sure that the young man that stood up for your daughter gets a big pat on the back.
BD

[topless]

I called the school this morning to have one of my daughter's classes changed so she didn't have to be in the same class as molester boy. They claimed (even thought police were there questioning my daughter Friday) that they weren't aware of the incident. They just called me back and said they would only make the teacher aware of the problem. I told them I would NOT make her attend that class until they change her schedule. The school is full of shit in my book. I am meeting my daughters hero and family this evening. He is a great kid by the way and has always looked out for her. If they have to go to court, my daughter and I will be there too. Not only that, she has alot of witnesses who will be there as well. I'm not going to brush this under the rug either. I'm talking to an attorney this afternoon.

[Kilrtoy]

You need to call the police I believe you live in Fontana
call the Fontana School police

[topless]

You need to call the police I believe you live in Fontana
call the Fontana School police
I live in Norco. I am going to wait until after I talk to her friend and his parents.

[Havasu_Dreamin]

My daughter went to school authorities and they did nothing so next time it happened she broke his nose in front of his friends. no charges filed and 1 day of suspension, he got a week. She never got bothered again. Apple Valley high wouldn't let the sheriff file a sexual harrassment charge.
HowTF does the school have any say in that? Unless I'm missing something here, SBSO dropped the ball on that one.

[Havasu_Dreamin]

I live in Norco. I am going to wait until after I talk to her friend and his parents.
Is this at Norco HS?

[topless]

Is this at Norco HS?Yes it is.

[probablecause]

Ok first off it is not sexual harrassment it is sexual battery, Which means the offender when and if convicted...
Kilrtoy is right on the money... Thanks for the regular street-cop version (finally) because it sounds like continual sexual battery to me too.
Topless - Bottom line, file a report and get the $hit-bag's fingerprints on file and the incident as a matter of record.
Print the California Penal Code section 290 (Sexual Registrants) and let suspect's mom and dad chew that for a while. Also, don't take any crap from a "generation-x" Officer who tries to downplay the incident by writing a $hitty report. The same thing with your local District Attorney. Have your daughter write out all of the incidents and sign it. Have it attached to the report. Nothing wakes up a parent like a good old "promise to appear" in Juvenile Court Notice.
Good luck.
The 1995 California Safe Schools Assessment (CSSA) requires schools to report all school crime in a new uniform manner. It also provides for periodic audits to ensure that schools are reporting as required. CSSA required all schools to complete a Safe School Plan by September, 1998. These Plans must be evaluated and updated annually. General requirements of the Plan are:
Assessment of school-related crime.
Strategies to help ensure school safety.
A sexual harassment policy.
Dress code policy that bans apparel that could threaten the health and safety of students.

[RiverDave]

Ok first off it is not sexual harrassment it is sexual battery, Which means the offender when and if convicted , will have to register with the state for the rest of their LIFE as a registered sex offender. If he was touch skin or the genitals it becomes a felony, If he penitrated it is also a felony and alot more than sexual battery. With that said, if you call the parents explain to them what there son was doing and why he got beat up, also advise them they may want to read the California Penal Code and you can start with
243.2.(A)2 and 243. E 1
That will make them change their minds real quickly, and if not , the thought of having their son spend the rest of his life as a sex offender, well that speaks for itself
This is the route that I would take if it were me in this situation..
RD

[topless]

I just talked to the assistant Principal and I finally got her taken out of that class with molester boy. It was like pulling teeth but at least it got done. I told them she would be missing that class until they switched it. :D

[diggler]

Good for you Topless! I have little sisters that are 16 and 19 from my dad's second marriage. They have these issues, and I actually got to talk to one of the little punks about leaving my sisters alone.... or else!

[ratso]

The little fukwad deserved to get punched. I'm so sick of effers starting sh*t and then go whining when they get their ass kicked for it. Either way it's handled, it's just the dirtbag attorneys getting rich.

[topless]

The little fukwad deserved to get punched. I'm so sick of effers starting sh*t and then go whining when they get their ass kicked for it. Either way it's handled, it's just the dirtbag attorneys getting rich.
Wait till he gets those sexual battery charges filed against him. He'll be the tough guy then..........for life!

[topless]

I just got to work today. I've been at the principals office all morning. Yesterday my daughter was threatened by molester boys sister and her manly looking girlfriends. She was in tears this morning not wanting to go to school. She was afraid these manly girls were going to beat the shit out of her.
I like a psycho mom went to the school and waited till they would hear me out. I informed them that this is not acceptable and of course they again had no knowledge of the incident. WTF!!!!!!!!! Do these people not communicate? No wonder our school system is the way it is. Should I buy her a gun?????

[mike37]

I just got to work today. I've been at the principals office all morning. Yesterday my daughter was threatened by molester boys sister and her manly looking girlfriends. She was in tears this morning not wanting to go to school. She was afraid these manly girls were going to beat the shit out of her.
I like a psycho mom went to the school and waited till they would hear me out. I informed them that this is not acceptable and of course they again had no knowledge of the incident. WTF!!!!!!!!! Do these people not communicate? No wonder our school system is the way it is. Should I buy her a gun?????
just go to the police and have them deal with it

[Havasu_Dreamin]

Should I buy her a gun?????
Uh, HELL NO!!!!!!

[coolchange]

quit f'n around and go to the cops

[topless]

Uh, HELL NO!!!!!!
That part was a joke...............sort of.

[mbrown2]

It is apparent the school is not going to help; get the Police involved. With the Police involved, you will start getting a different attitude from the school, and I can almost guaranty that the "Boy with Issues" family will start to mind their P's & Q's...once people have to start talking to Police regarding their actions, their actions sometime change; specifically with young high school idiots...

[JackieV]

I agree with you all.
Topless you have to play hard ball like this Molester boys family is doing :boxingguy . Don't let your daughter feel fear like that. I swear kids and the school system can be really f'd up! It hasn't been that long since I was in HS and I can still remember the crooked sh*t that went on. I went to schools in L.A. to Moreno Valley and trust me there are some kids that just don't give a fu*k about consequences. They need to be taught sometimes the hard way.
Do what you have to do, PLAY all the cards you have to. The school is ONLY looking out for it's self just as the parents of that dirty little boy. FIGHT FOR YOUR DAUGHTER AS YOU ARE AND KEEP ON UNTIL YOU WIN! Seriously, she should not be affraid of going to school, that is the worst feeling.
My parents go through the same sh*t with Moreno Valley School District for my two younger sisters 16 and 17. And believe me it's always drama! I could tell you stories about the bullsh*t I went through in school from crooked school police to teachers lying for their students for what ever pleasure... I am so glad to be out of HS! And I tell my sisters the same, "Just get the hell out of there!"
Handle it! Grab thoughs ovaries and take care of this Bullsh*t!

[ROZ]

If you haven't already done so, CALL THE POLICE. HAve them meet you at the principals office even if unannounced. At that point the idiots running your kid's school that you ain't f'n around...
Do it! Your daughter needs you now more than ever....

[Mandelon]

The school has a duty to provide a safe environment for the kids. Go to the Superintendant if the principal won't get the job done.

[topless]

The school has a duty to provide a safe environment for the kids. Go to the Superintendant if the principal won't get the job done.
The assistant principal told me that it will die down in a week. (right) They don't want me calling the police is all. I also talked to her friends parents last night and the assholes dad threatened him too.

[Mandelon]

Sounds like you need to meet someone at the local newspaper......get the story out, and put the pressure on......

[ROZ]

Why the hell are you still f'n around with this mofo? Call the police NOW!
Maybe we should all show up at this guy's door at a designated time to call him out for raising a sexual offender.... After the friend's family spoke to the guy, it sounds like the apple don't fall far from the tree.....

[Her454]

I'd like an update too, sorry I missed your call last night Alison. Do tell......

[topless]

Latest update is that molester boys dad told my daughters friend that if his dad didn't take care of him that he would personally. Great example to set for your kids huh? No wonder his son does the shit he does. Well, they have restraining orders on themselves now.