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HCS
01-11-2005, 02:57 PM
How To Decipher Personals Ads
WOMEN'S ADS:
40-ish...................... 49
Adventurer.................. Slept with all your friends
Athletic.................... No tits
Average looking............. Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful................... Pathological liar
Contagious Smile............ Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated.................... Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure.......... Medicated
Feminist.................... Fat ballbuster
Free spirit................. Junkie
Friendship first............ Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun......................... Annoying
Gentle...................... Comatose
Good Listener...............Borderline Autistic
New-Age..................... All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned............... Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded................. Desperate
Outgoing.................... Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate.................. Sloppy drunk
Poet........................ Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional................ Certified Bitch
Redhead..................... Bad dye-job(not me of course)
Reubenesque................. Grossly Fat
Romantic.................... Looks better by candle light
Social...................... Has been passed around like an hors doeurve tray
Voluptuous.................. Very Fat
Weight proportion w/ height. Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate.............. Stalker
Widow....................... Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart.............. Old bat
MEN'S ADS:
40-ish................ 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic.............. Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking....... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated.............. Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit........... Banging your sister
Friendship first...... As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun................... Good with a remote and a six pack
Very good looking..... Dumb as a board
Honest................ Pathological Liar
Huggable.............. Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle....... Insecure mama's boy
Mature................ Older than your father
Open-minded........... Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit........ Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.................. Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on a bathroom stall
Sensitive............. Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive........ Gay
Spiritual............. Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable................ Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful............ Says "Excuse me" when he farts

Her454
01-11-2005, 03:16 PM
What an enlightening day.
I've learned that I'm almost 49 and a non athletic", Pathological liar who does alot of ecstasy . I banged my Political Science Professor but keep myself medicated to get over it. Im a borderline, Autistic, annoying, junkie who is also a loud & embarassing sloppy drunk.
A certified Bitch who looks better by candlelight and has been passed around like a hors doeurve tray and getting fatter by the day who seeks a stalker.
Go figure.
Makes me glad I never placed that ad.............. :D :D :D

Jrocket
01-11-2005, 03:24 PM
LMAO :p

bocco
01-11-2005, 03:37 PM
What an enlightening day.
I've learned that I'm almost 49 and a non athletic", Pathological liar who does alot of ecstasy . I banged my Political Science Professor but keep myself medicated to get over it. Im a borderline, Autistic, annoying, junkie who is also a loud & embarassing sloppy drunk.
A certified Bitch who looks better by candlelight and has been passed around like a hors doeurve tray and getting fatter by the day who seeks a stalker.
Go figure.
Makes me glad I never placed that ad.............. :D :D :D
But you do have a boat!!!

Unforgiven
01-11-2005, 03:39 PM
What an enlightening day.
I've learned that I'm almost 49 and a non athletic", Pathological liar who does alot of ecstasy . I banged my Political Science Professor but keep myself medicated to get over it. Im a borderline, Autistic, annoying, junkie who is also a loud & embarassing sloppy drunk.
A certified Bitch who looks better by candlelight and has been passed around like a hors doeurve tray and getting fatter by the day who seeks a stalker.
Go figure.
Makes me glad I never placed that ad.............. :D :D :D
I'll take you as you are!!!

Her454
01-11-2005, 03:40 PM
But you do have a boat!!!
I'll take you as you are!!!
............You just want my boat.................. :cry: :D

HCS
01-11-2005, 03:40 PM
Lets see...
I'm 52 looking for 25 year olds, watch NASCAR.
Will patronize the shit out of you.
Good with a remote and a six pack.
Dumb as a board.
Pathological liar.
I sleep with your room mate.
Do 12 ounce curls.
Cry at fat chicks.
Got laid and the cemetery.
Oh. And excuse me. :D

Unforgiven
01-11-2005, 03:42 PM
............You just want my boat.................. :cry: :D
want your boat?? you got the blower and the new boat....what else do you want???

Her454
01-11-2005, 03:42 PM
Lets see...
I'm 52 looking for 25 year olds, watch NASCAR.
Will patronize the shit out of you.
Good with a remote and a six pack.
Dumb as a board.
Pathological liar.
I sleep with your room mate.
Do 12 ounce curls.
Cry at fat chicks.
Got laid and the cemetery.
Oh. And excuse me. :D
I'd fall in love with you but Im prone to the stalker type Tom. :D

Her454
01-11-2005, 03:43 PM
want your boat?? you got the blower and the new boat....what else do you want???
Got a dog? :wink: Im looking for a good German Shepherd................. :D

Unforgiven
01-11-2005, 03:44 PM
............You just want my boat.................. :cry: :D
wait , now I know....you want the blower and the "accesories" that go with it.. :D

Unforgiven
01-11-2005, 03:46 PM
Got a dog? :wink: Im looking for a good German Shepherd................. :D
male or female....what color?? when do you want it delivered??

Her454
01-11-2005, 03:49 PM
male or female....what color?? when do you want it delivered??
Males are too stubborn and hard to train. :D Tan and black.

topless
01-11-2005, 03:50 PM
male or female....what color?? when do you want it delivered??
What a kiss ass GEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZ :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Unforgiven
01-11-2005, 03:52 PM
What a kiss ass GEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZ :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
hey, you got what you wanted...now it's her turn :mix:

topless
01-11-2005, 03:53 PM
hey, you got what you wanted...now it's her turn :mix:Like I said.................. :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

HCS
01-11-2005, 03:53 PM
I'd fall in love with you but Im prone to the stalker type Tom. :D
That's ok. I'm sleeping with your room mate. :redface:
I hope your room mate is a good looking female person. :jawdrop:

Her454
01-11-2005, 03:54 PM
Or this color...........my old white shepherd...............
http://www.hotboatpics.com/pics/data/500/139shepherd-med.jpg

Unforgiven
01-11-2005, 03:54 PM
Like I said.................. :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
I give up.. :D

topless
01-11-2005, 03:56 PM
Or this color...........my old white shepherd...............
http://www.hotboatpics.com/pics/data/500/139shepherd-med.jpg
Is that the one that broke your arm?

Her454
01-11-2005, 03:57 PM
Is that the one that broke your arm?
No I dont have a pic of him here, but there was a pic of him on ***boat at one time.......he was beautiful, black and tan.

Mrs.Racer277
01-11-2005, 03:57 PM
What a kiss ass GEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZ :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
I need to go find my boots. :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

topless
01-11-2005, 04:04 PM
No I dont have a pic of him here, but there was a pic of him on ***boat at one time.......he was beautiful, black and tan.I remember him. Very cute dog.

Unforgiven
01-11-2005, 04:28 PM
MEN'S ADS:
40-ish................ 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic.............. Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking....... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated.............. Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit........... Banging your sister
Friendship first...... As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun................... Good with a remote and a six pack
Very good looking..... Dumb as a board
Honest................ Pathological Liar
Huggable.............. Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle....... Insecure mama's boy
Mature................ Older than your father
Open-minded........... Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit........ Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.................. Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on a bathroom stall
Sensitive............. Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive........ Gay
Spiritual............. Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable................ Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful............ Says "Excuse me" when he farts
___Digglar fits into to some of these catagories_______________

Her454
01-11-2005, 04:30 PM
MEN'S ADS:
40-ish................ 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic.............. Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking....... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated.............. Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit........... Banging your sister
Friendship first...... As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun................... Good with a remote and a six pack
Very good looking..... Dumb as a board
Honest................ Pathological Liar
Huggable.............. Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle....... Insecure mama's boy
Mature................ Older than your father
Open-minded........... Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit........ Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.................. Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on a bathroom stall
Sensitive............. Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive........ Gay
Spiritual............. Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable................ Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful............ Says "Excuse me" when he farts
___Digglar fits into to some of these catagories_______________
Leave Diggler alone, hes a very thoughtful guy!

HCS
01-11-2005, 04:33 PM
Leave Diggler alone, hes a very thoughtful guy!
Is that comment from experience? :D

Her454
01-11-2005, 04:38 PM
Is that comment from experience? :D
Just saying I've never met a more thoughtful guy. :rollside: