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View Full Version : Dumb Blonde Joke...............



Debbolas
02-01-2005, 07:26 PM
A BLONDE GUY GETS HOME EARLY FROM WORK AND
HEARS STRANGE NOISES COMING FROM THE BEDROOM. HE
RUSHES UPSTAIRS TO FIND HIS WIFE NAKED ON THE BED, SWEATING AND PANTING.
"WHAT'S UP?" HE SAYS
"I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK," CRIES THE WOMAN.
HE RUSHES DOWNSTAIRS TO GRAB THE PHONE, BUT
JUST AS HE'S DIALING, HIS 4-YEAR-OLD SON COMES UP
AND SAYS "DADDY! DADDY! UNCLE TED'S HIDING IN YOUR
CLOSET AND HE'S GOT NO CLOTHES ON!"
THE GUY SLAMS THE PHONE DOWN AND STORMS
UPSTAIRS INTO THE BEDROOM, PAST HIS SCREAMING WIFE,
AND RIPS OPEN THE WARDROBE DOOR. SURE ENOUGH, THERE
IS HIS BROTHER, TOTALLY NAKED, COWERING ON THE
CLOSET FLOOR.
"YOU ROTTEN SOB ," SAYS THE HUSBAND, "MY
WIFE'S HAVING A HEART ATTACK AND YOU'RE RUNNING
AROUND NAKED SCARING THE KIDS!"
Subject: Finally, A Male Blonde Joke :D :D

Badger301
02-01-2005, 09:49 PM
:notam: ........................................ok that was funny :)

locogringo
02-01-2005, 10:37 PM
nice try there D. It was originally written by a published joke-giver who lives in the Pottomac area and contrives his earnings from telling jokes. The original was a blonde woman who caught her husband on the bed.
Nie try.... :D
Daniel

WYRD
02-01-2005, 10:40 PM
nice try there D. It was originally written by a published joke-giver who lives in the Pottomac area and contrives his earnings from telling jokes. The original was a blonde woman who caught her husband on the bed.
Nie try.... :D
Daniel
Now this is funny!!!!! :) :devil:

WYRD
02-01-2005, 10:44 PM
A Blonde woman is at home one day when she smells smoke coming from her kitchen. She panics and calls 911. Here is the call as it happened:
Dispatcher "911 what is your emergency?"
Blonde Woman "Hurry Hurry my house is on fire?"
Dispatcher "Ok Ok calm down and tell us how to get to your house."
Blonde Woman "Well duh you drive the big red truck!"...........
:( :p

AirtimeLavey
02-01-2005, 11:20 PM
I don't get it... :notam:

locogringo
02-01-2005, 11:45 PM
nice try there D. It was originally written by a published joke-giver who lives in the Pottomac area and contrives his earnings from telling jokes. The original was a blonde woman who caught her husband on the bed.
Nie try.... :D
Daniel
I'm just pulling your chain there girl. I never heard this joke before and don;t know anyone in the Pottomac area. :p

WYRD
02-02-2005, 10:21 AM
:sleeping:

bunny 166
02-02-2005, 10:29 AM
A Blonde woman is at home one day when she smells smoke coming from her kitchen. She panics and calls 911. Here is the call as it happened:
Dispatcher "911 what is your emergency?"
Blonde Woman "Hurry Hurry my house is on fire?"
Dispatcher "Ok Ok calm down and tell us how to get to your house."
Blonde Woman "Well duh you drive the big red truck!"...........
:( :p
Aren't some yellow? :confused:

barbigrl
02-02-2005, 01:56 PM
Here is another one....
A blonde decided she needed something new and different for a winter hobby. She went to the bookstore and bought every book she could find on ice-fishing. For weeks she read and studied, hoping to become an expert in the field.
Finally she decided she knew enough, and out she went for her first ice-fishing trip. She carefully gathered up and packed all the tools and equipment needed for the excursion. Each piece of equipment had its own special place in her kit.
When she got to the ice, she found a quiet little area, placed her padded stool, and carefully laid out her tools. Just as she was about to make her first cut into the ice, a booming voice from the sky bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!"
Startled, the blonde grabbed up all her belongings, moved farther along on the ice, poured some hot chocolate from her thermos, and started to cut a new hole. Again the voice from above bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!"
Amazed, the blonde wasn't quite sure what to do, as this certainly wasn't covered in any of the books. She packed up her gear and moved to the far side of the ice. Once there, she stopped for a few moments to regain her calm. She was extremely careful to set everything up perfectly -- tools in the right place, chair positioned just so. Just as she was about to cut the new hole, the voice came again: "There are no fish under the ice!"
Petrified, the blonde looked skyward and asked, "Is that you, Lord?"
And the voice boomed back, "No, this is the manager of the skating rink!"

NashvilleBound
02-02-2005, 02:03 PM
I don't get it... :notam:
Me either....
Difference between a blond and a washing machine?
Washing machine won't follow you around for a week after you dump a load into it;) :rollside:

barbigrl
02-02-2005, 02:05 PM
Me either....
Difference between a blond and a washing machine?
Washing machine won't follow you around for a week after you dump a load into it;) :rollside:
Oh that is bad! :sqeyes:

NashvilleBound
02-02-2005, 02:06 PM
Oh that is bad! :sqeyes:
LOL...I will take that as mission accomplished;)

lost boy
02-02-2005, 02:09 PM
Hockey Rink , Ice!

WYRD
02-02-2005, 02:21 PM
LOL...I will take that as mission accomplished;)
Oh we want raunchy ones huh?
Well what does a blonde have in common with a screen door??
The more you bang em the looser they get! :jawdrop: :mad:

ratso
02-02-2005, 02:28 PM
What's the first thing a blonde does each morning?
Goes home.

WYRD
02-02-2005, 03:07 PM
What does a blonde say just before intercorse?
turn off the dome light. :boxed:

Eliminator 4 Life
02-02-2005, 03:09 PM
Oh we want raunchy ones huh?
Well what does a blonde have in common with a screen door??
The more you bang em the looser they get! :jawdrop: :mad:
:cry: :cry: :cry: :cool:

Debbolas
02-03-2005, 07:13 PM
Mrs. Flying Vee's Blonde Joke...........how do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool :wink:

Phat Matt
02-03-2005, 08:52 PM
What does a blonde and a turtle have in common?
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Get them on their back and their screwed. :D

Midwest_Miss69
02-03-2005, 09:19 PM
Why was the Blonde Girl smiling as she walked down the marriage aisle?
Cause she knew she'd given her last Blow job.
-------------------------------------------------
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you smack a mosquito it stops sucking

MRS FLYIN VEE
02-03-2005, 09:28 PM
what is a blonde doing a hand stand....
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..
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a brunette. :D

MRS FLYIN VEE
02-03-2005, 09:40 PM
what is a blonde and 3 brunetts standing in a straight line.
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.
regular price, 4 bucks 4 bucks 4 bucks. :p

Tom Brown
02-03-2005, 09:48 PM
what is a blonde doing a hand stand....
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..
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a brunette. :D
Nice. :D :D :D
... so this woman tells her doctor she's wetting the bed. The doctor asks her a bunch of questions about her eating, drinking and sleeping habits. Then he asks her to disrobe and step in front of his mirror.
The doctor asked her to do a hand stand facing the mirror. She did and he then asked her to spread her legs.
The doctor brought his face into her groin area until the bottom of his chin was resting between her legs. The woman was momentarily startled. He looked into the mirror for a few moments and then said, "Uhh huh... I see... OK... you can get dressed."
The interview resumed once the woman got dressed. The doctor said, "You're fine but refrain from consuming liquids for two hours before going to bed."
The woman asked, "I see... what was with that business in front of the mirror?" The doctor replied, "My wife was right... I do look better with a beard."

Kim Hanson
02-03-2005, 10:02 PM
A Blonde woman is at home one day when she smells smoke coming from her kitchen. She panics and calls 911. Here is the call as it happened:
Dispatcher "911 what is your emergency?"
Blonde Woman "Hurry Hurry my house is on fire?"
Dispatcher "Ok Ok calm down and tell us how to get to your house."
Blonde Woman "Well duh you drive the big red truck!"...........
:( :p
:D :D .........( . )( . )...........