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View Full Version : Hewlett-Packard hires new CEO, press release



rrrr
02-17-2005, 08:55 AM
PALO ALTO, CA. Hewlett-Packard (NYSE: HPQ) today announced
that the Office of President, CEO and Chairman will be outsourced as of
October 31, the end of the fiscal year. The move is being made to save
$45 million in annual salary and benefits. Further savings in air travel
are expected to add to HP's bottom line.
"At the end of the day, the cost savings will be quite significant" says
HP board member, Executive Vice President, and CFO Rob Highwayman, who,
with the aid of HP's outsourcing arm, HP Services, has studied
outsourcing extensively. "We simply can no longer afford this
inefficiency and remain competitive in the world stage," Highwayman
said.
Sanji Gurvinder Singh, 23, of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India, will be
assuming the Office of President, Chairman and CEO as of October 31. He
will receive a salary of $320 USD a month with proportionate benefits.
Mr. Singh will maintain his office in India and will be working
primarily at night, due to the time difference between the US and India.
"I am excited to serve in this position," Mr. Singh stated in an
exclusive interview. "I always knew that my career at the HP call center
would lead to great things."
An HP spokesperson noted that Mr. Singh has extensive experience in
public speaking and has been given Ms. Fiorina's script tree to enable
him to answer any question without having to understand the issue.
Ms. Fiorina, 49, has announced that she will join the faculty of the
Stanford School of Business, specializing in medieval business and the
related subject of employee motivation. No one at the Stanford School
of Business was available for comment.
The Hewlett-Packard board continues to explore other outsourcing
possibilities including HP's more than 1,200 vice presidents.
In an unrelated news item it was learned that HP was selling five
corporate jets complete with passengers thought to be board members and
HP executives. While the value of the content was not thought to be
significant it is believed that their accumulated air-miles could be
used to facilitate additional outsourcing initiatives.
HP employees were in a somber mood after the announcement. Company
announced that counselors will be available all week to help employees
get through the difficult time.
:D :D

My Man's Sportin' Wood
02-17-2005, 09:14 AM
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_11_6.gif ('http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZNxdm39696US')
Some one in here's gonna love that one!

Froggystyle
02-17-2005, 09:33 AM
Where is Her454 when you need her...

Party Cat
02-17-2005, 09:54 AM
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_11_6.gif ('http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZNxdm39696US')
Some one in here's gonna love that one!
She picked one hell of a time to try to cure her adiction.....ROTFLMAO... :D :D

topless
02-17-2005, 10:30 AM
She picked one hell of a time to try to cure her adiction.....ROTFLMAO... :D :DShe'll find a new addiction to replace this one.........well maybe she will.

Brady Bunch
02-17-2005, 10:45 AM
:2purples: That is funny............

Party Cat
02-17-2005, 10:56 AM
She'll find a new addiction to replace this one.........well maybe she will.
The only addiction I can think of that might come close to this one is her Jello one....and I don't think that there's enough watermellon (or Chicken) flavored Jello in Nor Cal.... :D :D

topless
02-17-2005, 11:10 AM
I just talked to her and gave her a little solid work advice to make sure her job is secure. I told her to move to India. :D I'm so helpful.

Havasu_Dreamin
02-17-2005, 11:22 AM
Yeah, but can he repair the slurpee machine? :p

carbonmarine
02-17-2005, 11:27 AM
If you are a "Strategic Partner or HP Vendor " ... Then HP = Humiliate People