Funny joke for the golfers in the house

[Ivan Dan]

A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.
She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his golf.
On the back nine the same thing happened and he approached her again with the same request. She said, "I'm on the 14th hole, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th hole."
Once again he thanked her and returned to his play. He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often.
He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you are in the sales profession. I'm in sales also. What do you sell?"
She replied, "If I tell you, you'll laugh.
""No, I won't," he replied.
"Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax."
With that, he laughed so hard he almost lost his breath.
She said, "See, I knew you would laugh."
"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied. "I'm a salesman for Preparation H, so I'm still a hole behind you.

[Jrocket]

Nice!!!!

[HM]

You know why they call it Golf? Because shit and f u c k were already taken. :D

[stoker]

Another golf joke...
A man and his wife are on the 14th hole. His tee shot lands 150 yards out and in the rough. He does not have a straight shot at the green because there is a utility shed that is between him and the pin. His wife being the quik thinker she is....runs to the shed and opens the doors to the front of the shed and opens the doors at the rear of the shed. She then tells him to just hit the ball through the shed and to the green.
He agrees, lines up his shot and swings away. Unfortunetly, the ball hits the shed, ricochets back, hits his wife in the head and kills her instantly!
Two weeks later he is out playing the same course with a friend of his. He hits the exact same shot off the 14th tee and lands in the exact same spot. His friend looks at him and suggest that he opens both sets of doors on the shed and play through. The man turns to him and says..."no way, the last time I tried that I double bogied"!

[Ziggy]

IvanDan goes to confession and has this to say.
.
Dan: Excuse me father for I have sinned, I used the F word.
Father: is that all? just say two hail Marys and you will be excused.
Dan: No, let me explain Father. I was out golfing and my Tee shot sliced off into the woods....
Father: So this is when you used the F word?
Dan: Oh no father, with Gods help I found my ball and a small opening to the green, as I readied to make my shot a squirrel ran by and stole my ball.
Father: ah, so this is when you used the F word?
Dan: Oh no father, at that very moment a hawk swooped down and grabbed the squirrel with his talons
Father: well this must be when you used the F word eh?
Dan: No, no father, in all the excitement the squirrel dropped the ball 6 inches from the cup.
Father: This is when you used the F word ?:confused:
Dan: Oh no father you...................
Father: Don't tell me you missed the Focking Putt!?!?!?!?!!?