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View Full Version : How to sneak out of work?



schlepy
04-15-2005, 09:16 AM
I want to get out of hear and go to havasu today. What are some good excuses you have used????

NOTALENT
04-15-2005, 09:17 AM
where do u work??

LAFD
04-15-2005, 09:18 AM
I Developed The Case Of The Runs And Messed Myself I Need To Go Home.

WYRD
04-15-2005, 09:18 AM
I want to get out of hear and go to havasu today. What are some good excuses you have used????
you might try saying "I am going to havasu see ya!" but I run the company so that might not work for you :crossx:

Tom Brown
04-15-2005, 09:19 AM
Shit your pants and say you're having trouble with your colostomy.

WYRD
04-15-2005, 09:19 AM
I Developed The Case Of The Runs And Messed Myself I Need To Go Home.
This one might work too :D

Tom Brown
04-15-2005, 09:21 AM
You could hunch over, act like you've got internal cramps and say you think your boy friend caused some internal damage last night and that you'd like to go and have it checked out.

schlepy
04-15-2005, 09:22 AM
where do u work??
if i told you i would have to kill you...
i have used my gas line broke at my house, main water line broke and have been sick way to many times for them to buy that. i need something good. i will use i shit myself after lunch if nothing else comes up..

NOTALENT
04-15-2005, 09:22 AM
I Developed The Case Of The Runs And Messed Myself I Need To Go Home.
thats what I was thinking... :cool:
just say u have personal issues u have to attend to...it always works for me.. :cool:

schlepy
04-15-2005, 09:23 AM
You could hunch over, act like you've got internal cramps and say you think your boy friend caused some internal damage last night and that you'd like to go and have it checked out.
is that why they call you tom brown because you love the brown eye??
you are one sick pup...

WYRD
04-15-2005, 09:23 AM
You could hunch over, act like you've got internal cramps and say you think your boy friend caused some internal damage last night and that you'd like to go and have it checked out.
That one may have a lasting effect though. :D :D Sick Tom Just Sick :hammer2:

Tom Brown
04-15-2005, 09:25 AM
you are one sick pup...
You have much to learn, my young friend.
The beauty of that plan is that when you come back and they ask you about your health, you can tell them that you're fine, nothing was wrong, and on the bright side... you found your boy friend's wrist watch. :cool:

schlepy
04-15-2005, 09:27 AM
You have much to learn, my young friend.
The beauty of that plan is that when you come back and they ask you about your health, you can tell them that you're fine, nothing was wrong, and on the bright side... you found your boy friend's wrist watch. :cool:
please tell me that you havent used that line before...

jdogginla
04-15-2005, 09:28 AM
Everyone beat me to it........say u shit your pants. But on lunch pick up a can of baked beans and pour the juice out and sit in it so you have the brown stain on your pants! You are sure to be able to go home....... :jawdrop:

Tom Brown
04-15-2005, 09:31 AM
OK then... if you're too much of a fraidycat to use the fist of Havasu sunshine story, how about this...
Arrange to have someone call you at work. After the call, run into your boss's office and hastily explain that your parents are trying to have another child. Your father's vasectimy reversal failed, you've agreed to be the sperm donor, and you're Mom just called to say that she's ovulating.

WaTchTheGelCoat
04-15-2005, 09:33 AM
Just leave, on monday, tell them you had "male problems" that works for alot of the girls in my office. :D

schlepy
04-15-2005, 09:35 AM
OK then... if you're too much of a fraidycat to use the fist of Havasu sunshine story, how about this...
Arrange to have someone call you at work. After the call, run into your boss's office and hastily explain that your parents are trying to have another child. Your father's vasectimy reversal failed, you've agreed to be the sperm donor, and you're Mom just called to say that she's ovulating.
thanks tom brown i just Fing threw up on my desk, thats it im sick again. i'll show my boss the puke on my desk, thanks tom brown. i'm outta hear.......

Tom Brown
04-15-2005, 09:37 AM
I like you, Schlepy. You've got style. :cool:

ROZ
04-15-2005, 09:37 AM
Arrange to have someone call you at work. After the call, run into your boss's office and hastily explain that your parents are trying to have another child. Your father's vasectimy reversal failed, you've agreed to be the sperm donor, and you're Mom just called to say that she's ovulating.
It didn't work...
So what kinda watch was it? :D

Havasu_Dreamin
04-15-2005, 09:37 AM
I just get up and leave.

Bre
04-15-2005, 09:37 AM
OK then... if you're too much of a fraidycat to use the fist of Havasu sunshine story, how about this...
Arrange to have someone call you at work. After the call, run into your boss's office and hastily explain that your parents are trying to have another child. Your father's vasectimy reversal failed, you've agreed to be the sperm donor, and you're Mom just called to say that she's ovulating.
LMAO.... that is great :D... thanks for the laugh Tom.

surfer2001
04-15-2005, 09:38 AM
if i told you i would have to kill you...
i have used my gas line broke at my house, main water line broke and have been sick way to many times for them to buy that. i need something good. i will use i shit myself after lunch if nothing else comes up..
The truth is better, just say its 95, & you don't want to get stuck on the 91 freeway.
We bosses can see right through all the lies. Heard um all, even make up a few myself.

schlepy
04-15-2005, 09:39 AM
I like you, Schlepy. You've got style. :cool:
even though you are a sick man tom brown, you got your own twisted style too. i hope i see all of you guys at havi, im outta hear in a few minutes....

Tom Brown
04-15-2005, 09:40 AM
We bosses can see right through all the lies. Heard um all, even make up a few myself.
Sure but bosses enjoy a good story as much as anybody and it shows that you put some effort into it.

Bre
04-15-2005, 09:41 AM
even though you are a sick man tom brown, you got your own twisted style too. i hope i see all of you guys at havi, im outta hear in a few minutes....
How did you get outta work??? :(

topless
04-15-2005, 09:43 AM
Tell them your windshield wipers are bad and you need to get them replaced in case it rains.

Tom Brown
04-15-2005, 09:44 AM
OK... how about this angle?
You could rush into your bosses office and explain that your girlfriend is heading to your place to use the computer to write up a resume and you desperately need to get there first and delete your kiddy porn collection.

LAFD
04-15-2005, 09:46 AM
OK then... if you're too much of a fraidycat to use the fist of Havasu sunshine story, how about this...
Arrange to have someone call you at work. After the call, run into your boss's office and hastily explain that your parents are trying to have another child. Your father's vasectimy reversal failed, you've agreed to be the sperm donor, and you're Mom just called to say that she's ovulating.
HOLY HELL^

topless
04-15-2005, 09:47 AM
Tell them the police are at your house and need to see you..........something about drugs.

shadow
04-15-2005, 09:48 AM
I want to get out of hear and go to havasu today. What are some good excuses you have used????
I'm a mechanic a Ford and at my old Dealership in Cal,I used to pull a car in my stall turn up my radio,leave my tools out on my cart next to the car i was presumed to be working on and cut out to the river.Then at 5 i'd have someone close my box and turn off my radio.If anyone asked,I was on a road test.Always worked on fri afternnons around 1:00.Now i'm in Havasu and can see the lake and hear the boats from my stall where i work. :)

schlepy
04-15-2005, 09:49 AM
my boss said that i can leave at 1130am. i told him the truth, that my friends are leaving at 1pm and i dont want to hit the 91 traffic. holly shit the truth worked..... dont ask tom brown for advice your boss will never talk to you again....

Tom Brown
04-15-2005, 09:50 AM
..... dont ask tom brown for advice your boss will never talk to you again....
You say that like it's a bad thing. :confused:
Have a fantastic weekend, schlepy. :cool:

Racer277
04-15-2005, 09:52 AM
You have much to learn, my young friend.
The beauty of that plan is that when you come back and they ask you about your health, you can tell them that you're fine, nothing was wrong, and on the bright side... you found your boy friend's wrist watch. :cool:
LMAO Tom you crack me up.
Why does this make me think of Christopher Walken?
:D

PlyaPlya22
04-15-2005, 09:52 AM
Tell them that your neighbor called and said water is pouring out of your garage. Then call them when you get (home) and say your hot water heater is busted and you got water damage!

ROZ
04-15-2005, 09:54 AM
OK... how about this angle?
You could rush into your bosses office and explain that your girlfriend is heading to your place to use the computer to write up a resume and you desperately need to get there first and delete your kiddy porn collection.
Or you could tell the boss your going to take his wife to the river so he can spend the weekend with his girlfriend... :D

schlepy
04-15-2005, 09:55 AM
Tell them that your neighbor called and said water is pouring out of your garage. Then call them when you get (home) and say your hot water heater is busted and you got water damage!
already used that one last year, two weeks later i used my gas line broke and i had my roommate call my work and act like he was the gas company.

topless
04-15-2005, 09:56 AM
Tell him that Tom Brown is on his way to your house and you need to make sure the muffins are hidden.

schlepy
04-15-2005, 09:58 AM
Tell him that Tom Brown is on his way to your house and you need to make sure the muffins are hidden.
more like tom brown is on his way over and i need to hide my pets and warn my neighbors... hahahaha

PlyaPlya22
04-15-2005, 09:59 AM
already used that one last year, two weeks later i used my gas line broke and i had my roommate call my work and act like he was the gas company.Tell them your girlfriend is at home drunk with one of her girlfriends and they want a threesome. So you need to get there before they change their mind. :D

barbigrl
04-15-2005, 10:04 AM
dam you guys had me rollin....I need to remember this shit...I want to cut out early on the 29th.....I think I am going to use "my girlfriends want a threesome" :hammer2: :D :supp:

schlepy
04-15-2005, 10:05 AM
dam you guys had me rollin....I need to remember this shit...I want to cut out early on the 29th.....I think I am going to use "my girlfriends want a threesome" :hammer2: :D :supp:
can i be the stunt cock????

PlyaPlya22
04-15-2005, 10:08 AM
dam you guys had me rollin....I need to remember this shit...I want to cut out early on the 29th.....I think I am going to use "my girlfriends want a threesome" :hammer2: :D :supp:
If your boss is a guy it should definitley work!

LAFD
04-15-2005, 10:12 AM
my boss said that i can leave at 1130am. i told him the truth, that my friends are leaving at 1pm and i dont want to hit the 91 traffic. holly shit the truth worked..... dont ask tom brown for advice your boss will never talk to you again....
OR AT LEAST NOT LOOK AT YOU LIKE YOUR AN INBREAD ROPE SMOKER.

schlepy
04-15-2005, 10:17 AM
i hope that everyone has a great safe weekend. im on my way to havasu.
tom brown stay away from them chickens......

surfer2001
04-15-2005, 10:18 AM
my boss said that i can leave at 1130am. i told him the truth, that my friends are leaving at 1pm and i dont want to hit the 91 traffic. holly shit the truth worked..... dont ask tom brown for advice your boss will never talk to you again....
TOLD YOU, I just let 4 guys leave early for a Vegas trip. Good management know about moral. My guys will do anything I ask, i'm there for them and when I need them their there for me. have fun maybe see out there

barbigrl
04-15-2005, 10:22 AM
can i be the stunt cock????
depends.....

barbigrl
04-15-2005, 10:23 AM
If your boss is a guy it should definitley work!
Unfortunatly not....I work for mainly women! :hammer2: They sure are perverted though!!!

ChumpChange
04-15-2005, 10:29 AM
Tell him that you HAVE to do your taxes. Only works one day out of the year.

PlyaPlya22
04-15-2005, 10:39 AM
Unfortunatly not....I work for mainly women! :hammer2: They sure are perverted though!!!
They're probably down to be the two willing participants.

GHTRIM
04-15-2005, 11:18 AM
Say you have to run an errand (sp) and you will be back in about 1.5 hours (this works for the lunch time get away). In stead of running an errand run straight home load the truck as fast as possible. After you are loaded call your work and say you had a blow out / flat tire and you went to change it but the lug wrench you have doesn't fit your custom rims :rollside: , and you are waiting for a tow truck to come and help you. Start driving to Havasu.. In a couple of hours call the office again and say you have to now run to Discount Tire to have them try and repair it (because the spare is a different size and it will ruin you gears) and the wait is over an hour. This gets you easily to 3:30 - 4:30pm. Then call your boss and tell him how unlucky you are and you'll head to work but with traffic you won't get there til around closing. Closing time your in Havasu. :rolleyes:

topless
04-15-2005, 11:24 AM
I tried the old windshield wipers need replacing one once. My boss just laughed. :eek:

Ziggy
04-15-2005, 11:46 AM
I want to get out of hear and go to havasu today. What are some good excuses you have used????
You're FIRED! :hammer2: :D

MagicMtnDan
04-15-2005, 01:07 PM
Wherever he works you can be sure they don't have spelling as a job requirement :D

uvindex
04-15-2005, 01:20 PM
Tell 'em you have to leave early to report for your weekend jail stay (if you say that your sentence was for a year of weekends in jail, you can leave early for 52 Fridays on a single excuse!) :p

barbigrl
04-15-2005, 01:23 PM
Say you have to run an errand (sp) and you will be back in about 1.5 hours (this works for the lunch time get away). In stead of running an errand run straight home load the truck as fast as possible. After you are loaded call your work and say you had a blow out / flat tire and you went to change it but the lug wrench you have doesn't fit your custom rims :rollside: , and you are waiting for a tow truck to come and help you. Start driving to Havasu.. In a couple of hours call the office again and say you have to now run to Discount Tire to have them try and repair it (because the spare is a different size and it will ruin you gears) and the wait is over an hour. This gets you easily to 3:30 - 4:30pm. Then call your boss and tell him how unlucky you are and you'll head to work but with traffic you won't get there til around closing. Closing time your in Havasu. :rolleyes:
My girlfriend did something similar...she claimed she had a Dr.'s appt after lunch...that she would return...then a few hours later called and told them she had to give blood, but she would try to make it back...she never called again, by that time we were already at the river.
Another trick she uses is, she puts a sign on her door "with clients" then sneaks out the back. I wonder if they ever caught her... :hammer2:
She has gotten away with more shit!! and they keep giving her raises!! They are like flies on shit at my job.....there is no way I could pull that stuff.

Mandelon
04-15-2005, 01:31 PM
As an employer of a dozen or so creative minds, I would like to suggest that the truth would be a refreshing change.
If any excuse sounds hokey I just assume its a lie. If someone asks for the day off, and they make it up ahead of time or later, its fine with me....
It makes the employee happy and more appreciative of working here. I can't always award good employees with extra money, but time off is an easy perk to offer.
I have had many of the same guys for 7,8,10 years......
Try the truth. :smile:

Keithb87
04-15-2005, 01:35 PM
Tell them your windshield wipers are bad and you need to get them replaced in case it rains.
I knew that one would resurface :burningm:

77charger
04-15-2005, 02:26 PM
the chp is looking for my truck at a certain time so can i go early to avoid him seeing me. :D :D :D

Ziggy
04-15-2005, 03:23 PM
As an employer of a dozen or so creative minds, I would like to suggest that the truth would be a refreshing change.
If any excuse sounds hokey I just assume its a lie. If someone asks for the day off, and they make it up ahead of time or later, its fine with me....
It makes the employee happy and more appreciative of working here. I can't always award good employees with extra money, but time off is an easy perk to offer.
I have had many of the same guys for 7,8,10 years......
Try the truth. :smile:
Exactly why my first response was "You're FIRED!"........I don't want a cheesy, hokey made up excuse, just tell the truth and give me a little heads up....I don't have a problem with it.
But call in sick, or crapped my shorts gotta run, or can I leave right now ain't flying.
I have employees of 30+ years here.