Puting trust in our kids

[Scream]

:idea:
I started responding to a thread by Jaxpunx with regards to the use of the trackable cell phones, available on the market, for our kids. I realized I'd jack the thread and didn't want to do that, so...
What trust do we have in our kids. Not that we can say with any degree of certainty that they are going to always tell us the truth, I'd even venture to say that most of the time they leave out most of the details of what they're up to, JUST LIKE WE DID, in order to keep us happy as well as themselves. The new phones give parents the opportunity to "track" thier teens. Is that a necessity or is it an intrusion...
I can see the justification as a safety feature (lost, broken down, etc) or perhaps and emergency situations which I won't go into, but as an everyday use I believe that the tracking phones would be an intrusion into my childrens privacy to some point. The fact that they have a phone is enough in my book to give me peace of mind and them some security.
I would think the best use was for those teens that are repeatedly caught in the act of decieving thier parents, or those who have been in trouble with the law. Just my opinion, I would love to hear what anyone else thinks...

[djunkie]

I think it varies for different kids. They weren't around when I was a kid and I turned out just fine. At least I think I did. :D

[Rock-A-Bye-Baby]

I think i'm with you on this. As tempting as it is, and I will really want to know where my kids will be (they're only 5 and 3), i think it will have an adverse affect on the trust levels established between the parents and the kids. Like you said Scream, they will leave out the majority of the details, just like i did when i was a teenager. but believe me, if my folks would have put a tracking device on me, i would have hated it and found a way around it. And ultimately that would have led to trouble.
I guess what i am trying to say is, what does it say about me as a parent to have to put a tracking device on my kid? (exceptions of course as mentioned above: "those teens that are repeatedly caught in the act of decieving thier parents, or those who have been in trouble with the law.")
i hope that my relationships with my kids and the job i do as a parent will encourage my kids to make good decisions. i could go on.......and on......

[HM]

I think it varies for different kids. They weren't around when I was a kid and I turned out just fine. At least I think I did. :D
ditto.
I think if your child becomes a problem or develops a pattern, then that would justify increased supervision.
but, if your child has not broken your trust (and you are not in denial), then this type of tracking just may push them. Hey, if they have to do the time, they may as well do the crime. Don't punish them for something they have not done.

[ratso]

...thinking back to my school days, the majority of kids can't be trusted, and now days it's even worse. Tracking devices won't prevent anything though, and would probably cause more harm than good.

[1stepcloser]

I agree with most of this, right up to the invasion of privacy part, as I feel that as a parent in is well within my rights to know where my kid is, and what she is up to.
I was raised in the environment that "as long as your living under my roof, you'll follow my rules."
I have that same philosophy toward my kid.
That being said, I do not, nor do I intend to start, monitering my kids habits or her whereabouts as she has never given me cause to be alarmed.
We have a very open relationship, and I beleive that she is pretty honest with me.

[My Man's Sportin' Wood]

Matt, I agree 100%. I have read Orwell, and will admit, I'm a little paranoid of big brother. The fact that you can track your kids means the government can also. Same reason I don't have chips in my pets.
If my child was in the wrong crowd, or ditching school and doing drugs, however, I may feel differently.

[HM]

I agree with most of this, right up to the invasion of privacy part, as I feel that as a parent in is well within my rights to know where my kid is, and what she is up to.
I was raised in the environment that "as long as your living under my roof, you'll follow my rules."
I have that same philosophy toward my kid.
That being said, I do not, nor do I intend to start, monitering my kids habits or her whereabouts as she has never given me cause to be alarmed.
We have a very open relationship, and I beleive that she is pretty honest with me.
I agree with you that they have no right to privacy until they can pay for it themselves. But, I will not "invade" it as a practice unless they are doing something to warrant. I think a random occasional invasion is needed, just because, but you should do it Columbo style and then they can continue thinking you are an idiot.
:D

[mike37]

we have phones that can be tracked but would never use it
but in an emergency like maby abduction
my thing is you have a phone if I call you you'd better answer

[Phat Matt]

I didn't read anything is here but I just wanted to say...
TRUST NO ONE
:D

[1stepcloser]

I agree with you that they have no right to privacy until they can pay for it themselves. But, I will not "invade" it as a practice unless they are doing something to warrant. I think a random occasional invasion is needed, just because, but you should do it Columbo style and then they can continue thinking you are an idiot.
:D
:)

[Ultrafied]

I have to agree with the few who have discussed the "right to privacy". I never believed my son had a "right to privacy", privacy was earned and trust were earned, just like all the other benefits.
Would I use a GPS tracker in the cell phone, absolutely. Would I track him all night, NO. Would I track him every time he left, Heck NO. But ... I don't see the problem in verifying once in awhile.
I have known too many parents who would have been shocked by where and what their "good kids" were doing with the "trust" given to them.

[boater72]

I agree with most of this, right up to the invasion of privacy part, as I feel that as a parent in is well within my rights to know where my kid is, and what she is up to.
I was raised in the environment that "as long as your living under my roof, you'll follow my rules."
I have that same philosophy toward my kid.
That being said, I do not, nor do I intend to start, monitering my kids habits or her whereabouts as she has never given me cause to be alarmed.
We have a very open relationship, and I beleive that she is pretty honest with me.
I came from the same house! My wife and I also have a very open relationship with my daughter and son. Yes they will leave out some of the details inless asked.

[Debbolas]

ok, :D
but I would love to put locator chips in my kids........just so I could turn on my computer and KNOW where they are, just incase of a national disaster......I know this is wrong, but it is how I feel :confused:
(Aly is sooooooooooo lucky Scream is her dad) :clover:

[Scream]

I have to agree with the few who have discussed the "right to privacy". I never believed my son had a "right to privacy", privacy was earned and trust were earned, just like all the other benefits.
Would I use a GPS tracker in the cell phone, absolutely. Would I track him all night, NO. Would I track him every time he left, Heck NO. But ... I don't see the problem in verifying once in awhile.
I have known too many parents who would have been shocked by where and what their "good kids" were doing with the "trust" given to them.
Are you a LEO? That would explain the last sentence. I believe the technology is cool, it's awsome and it's not always necessary. As Angie said, although I don't want to intrude in my kids personal lives to a detrimental degree, there are instances where it may become necessary to do so. I've got 3 great kids. Heaven forbid one of them runs afoul of life, but it's possible.
I do ask my kids where they're going, what they're doing, who they'll be with, and when they'll be home. We know all of thier friends and make an overt attempt at making them our friends as well. Your kids friends are less likely to want to dissapoint you as a consequence to any shortcomings they may have. The twenty questions is automatic and Deb always says no regardless of what they ask, so I have to weigh the "evidence" and pronounce judgment on a regular basis.
The privacy issue is a biggie to me. I respect others privacy and wish my privacy to be respected as well. I'm not a loner, but don't mind my private time either. I want my kids to have as much privacy as possible, because as this world evolves we loose bits of it all the time. There will be a time when there will be no real privacy to speak of, and that will be a shame IMO.
Scream

[JetBoatRich]

Tracking devices on kids, reading their mail/emails, etc :yuk: I would hope that our relationship with our kids is better than that. taking time to talk to them about a variety of subjects and letting them to do the same, if you like the subject or not. They are people and vent at times as well. A lot of pressures for kids, you need to love them , help them, guide them.

[Debbolas]

The twenty questions is automatic and Deb always says no regardless of what they ask, so I have to weigh the "evidence" and pronounce judgment on a regular basis.
That is why it's good I married Scream, we balance each other out.......... :cool:
(and I still REALLY like the idea of turning my computer on and knowing where my kids are.............I know it's wrong..............but ........I would like that)

[chub]

ok, :D
but I would love to put locator chips in my kids........just so I could turn on my computer and KNOW where they are, just incase of a national disaster......I know this is wrong, but it is how I feel :confused:
(Aly is sooooooooooo lucky Scream is her dad) :clover:
You can't be serious here. That's some major biblical fopar. Get hold of yourself and trust your kids. I'm pretty sure they are gonna turn out better then your given them credit.

[Debbolas]

I know it's wrong, but that is how I feel.
(of course I still check on them in their beds, to make sure they are breathing);)

[chub]

That is why it's good I married Scream, we balance each other out.......... :cool:
(and I still REALLY like the idea of turning my computer on and knowing where my kids are.............I know it's wrong..............but ........I would like that)
On a different note:
Thanks for the tip on Insurance. Steve is now my agent.

[Debbolas]

I think he is great!!! ;)
Don't you check on your kids to be sure they are still breathing? :confused:

[chub]

I know it's wrong, but that is how I feel.
(of course I still check on them in their beds, to make sure they are breathing);)
Not trying to be rude. I know you just love them and want the best. I guess trust is a tough issue. I always told my parents the brutal truth when asked. Got in a lot of trouble. I'll tell everyone in the world, I wish everyone had parents like mine. I hope your kids say the same! :D

[Debbolas]

Like I said, Scream and I balance each other out.......I am super over protective and he is............normal. :rollside: So the kids know to ask him first :rolleyes:

[Debbolas]

no, I'm sure you a great dad, I just super over protective :rollside:

[Scream]

no, I'm sure you a great dad, I just super over protective :rollside:
To support my wife, Yes, yes she is overprotective...but not as bad as some of our neighbors...They make her look like a negligent mom...lol

[chub]

We don't have kids so I'm not fortunate enough to be able to check on them at night. Reality is I have about 40 kids......... all our freinds kids. I don't have one free weekend a year between birthdays and river weekends. Listen to me complain. :D :D :D Lookng forward to meetin you all.

[Debbolas]

We don't have kids so I'm not fortunate enough to be able to check on them at night. Reality is I have about 40 kids......... all our freinds kids. I don't have one free weekend a year between birthdays and river weekends. Listen to me complain. :D :D :D Lookng forward to meetin you all.
:D Next Dam Run

[Norseman]

:idea:
I started responding to a thread by Jaxpunx with regards to the use of the trackable cell phones, available on the market, for our kids. I realized I'd jack the thread and didn't want to do that, so...
What trust do we have in our kids. Not that we can say with any degree of certainty that they are going to always tell us the truth, I'd even venture to say that most of the time they leave out most of the details of what they're up to, JUST LIKE WE DID, in order to keep us happy as well as themselves. The new phones give parents the opportunity to "track" thier teens. Is that a necessity or is it an intrusion...
I can see the justification as a safety feature (lost, broken down, etc) or perhaps and emergency situations which I won't go into, but as an everyday use I believe that the tracking phones would be an intrusion into my childrens privacy to some point. The fact that they have a phone is enough in my book to give me peace of mind and them some security.
I would think the best use was for those teens that are repeatedly caught in the act of decieving thier parents, or those who have been in trouble with the law. Just my opinion, I would love to hear what anyone else thinks...
I have a fourteen year old daughter, would it be nice to know what she's doing every second, maybe. :)
Will I give her a cell phone with a tracker in it. Absolutely not. :cool:
I trust that Joan and I have given her the right values and she will do the right things, in most circumstances. I also expect that she will make some mistakes along the way, and will hopefully learn from them. :frown:
There are still things I wouldn't tell my mother I did growing up!!!! :devil:
At her age it might kill her, before she could kill me!!!!! :cool:
Jessie is very open and honest and will tell us what she is doing, and going, and where she has been. I think it would hurt our relationship with her if she knew we were tracking her. Does her cell phone have a GPS locator in it, if and only if she dials 911 absolutely!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :)
Given the average smarts of our kids, if you give them a tracker and they don't want you to know where they are, you won't, they will figure out a way to beat the system!!!! :hammer2: :D

[chub]

Goood aaaaaaaannnnnnnssswwwweeeerrrrrrrrrrr!

[jackpunx]

I have to agree with the few who have discussed the "right to privacy". I never believed my son had a "right to privacy", privacy was earned and trust were earned, just like all the other benefits.
Would I use a GPS tracker in the cell phone, absolutely. Would I track him all night, NO. Would I track him every time he left, Heck NO. But ... I don't see the problem in verifying once in awhile.
I have known too many parents who would have been shocked by where and what their "good kids" were doing with the "trust" given to them.
This is where I’m at.. I have this service and have not used it yet.. My kid gets good grades and has not ever been in trouble with the law.
I give her a lot of freedom to make her own decisions and .. When she doesn’t want to come to the river with us.. I let her stay home..
I also gave her a car for her B day last year.. and getting her a better one this month as I know she is a better driver now..
Having said that..
I don’t know how old your kids are.. or how involved you are with them.. But.. I follow up on my daughter. When she tells me she is going to be somewhere I want to know that she is there.. When she tells me she is going to be home at a certain time.. I hold her to that.. . She tells things to my sister.. "In confidence" that when necessary my sister will share with me.. But I do not break her confidence.
I can imagine that its hard to talk to your dad.. as I have been a single dad for a long time..
So.. I know for fact that she leaves a lot of detail out of our conversations.. I know that the age she is in is the time for "EVERYTHING".. and I allow her to do it and make her own decisions as long as they are safe.. when I tell her NO.. She listens as far as I know..
This system is preventive maintenance.. I know if she has been speeding in her car.. If I want to check up on her and verify where she says she is.. I can....
I think alot of us are in denial about our kids.. Alot of us talk a great game about "invasion of privacy" "Trust" "allowing kids to make mistakes"..
I believe in all that.. I also practice it..
I want my daughter to skin her knees a bit because Im not always going to be there.. I don’t enter her room with out knocking.. I don’t go through her purse.. .. I talk to her about everything.. I ask her about drugs, Grades, her friends, school, music.. the list goes on.. When she was little I coached her soccer team for 2 years.. I taught her band and have been very involved
I don’t know if you remember when you were kids.. but there are certain things we do as a right of passage.. I believe everyone should do these things..
But.. Because I’m a parent now.. I can not allow things that put her in Danger.. It dosnt meen that it wont happen.. and that I didnt do it.. It just means that in my current roll as a parent .. its not ok with me..
I talked to her about this whole tracking thing.. She is totally cool with it.. So we’ll see how it goes.. and I’ll keep you posted..

[BADBLOWN572]

Sounds to me like you've already laid all the groundwork for her to turn out great.
Yep. I have met her and she is a good kid. Jackpunx did something right. ;)

[Her454]

Deb, Im with you on the protective side, but I do admit that I didnt have a "tracking" device when I was young and I turned out ok too. I realize things are different now and its a more dangerous, tempting world today - but I do see it as an invasion of privacy to a degree and thats where trust comes in to play. You hope you've taught them right and they take the high road in life. I DO agree that cell phones are a must in todays world, and the tracking purpose should be utilized for safety reasons if needed and only for tracking if your child has given you valid reasons to use it.

[Waldo]

When my kids were born, I had a micro chip surgically placed under their skin. They don't even know it's there! :D :D

[Ultracrazy]

Don’t confuse privacy with safety...........I have raised 6 kids without too many issues. But, there were definitely times that I would have loved to have this technology at my disposal. Someone said that parents would be surprised to find out where their kids REALLY were at times..........that is so true. Yep......I’m LE.

[jackpunx]

Don’t confuse privacy with safety...........I have raised 6 kids without too many issues. But, there were definitely times that I would have loved to have this technology at my disposal. Someone said that parents would be surprised to find out where their kids REALLY were at times..........that is so true. Yep......I’m LE.
I agree with you 100% .... I think there are a lot of people swiming in de nile..
I was talking about a bumper sticker with BB 572,,
It says..
your little Angel is my little WHOR...
You never know.. ;)

[meaniam]

i dont think my parent cared where i was, i grew up on the mountain (lake arrowhead) so if i did something wrong the police would pick me up and drop me off at home. but the rule was after 9 pm dont wake dad at 12pm if your not in the house by then. dont come home tell tomorrow. there was alot of nights sleeping or parties on docks with pizza for dinner this was 17 and after.
the mountains is diffrent. the poo poo have nothing better to do.. they know you on a first name bases. not becuase your bad.. of course we did do things wrong just luckly i was willing to do whatever it took to get away. did you know alot of docks have air pockets built in.... gee i hope when i have kids nobody tells them my stories

[sorry dog]

If my child was in the wrong crowd, or ditching school and doing drugs, however, I may feel differently.
I resemble that remark...and I had bad grades, stole signs, trenched yards, played mailbox baseball, threw keg parties in the woods, etc.
...but somehow I made it and I'd do it all again too. But I grew up in a pretty closed in community (same one the missing Holloway girl is from) where not getting caught by the po po was part of the fun. Once I went to college, I had a better idea of what is stupid and not worth the risk.
...and if I thought I could be located then I'd just leave that cell at home and buy my own or use a buddy's.

[Debbolas]

Deb, Im with you on the protective side, but I do admit that I didnt have a "tracking" device when I was young and I turned out ok too. I realize things are different now and its a more dangerous, tempting world today - but I do see it as an invasion of privacy to a degree and thats where trust comes in to play. You hope you've taught them right and they take the high road in life. I DO agree that cell phones are a must in todays world, and the tracking purpose should be utilized for safety reasons if needed and only for tracking if your child has given you valid reasons to use it.
Logically, I understand how the chip under their skin is an invasion of privacy, but emotionally, I want the chip, just so I could turn on my computer and KNOW where my kids are all the time. I know it is wrong, but it is how I feel.
My kids are really good kids....Like I said, it's good I married Scream, we balance each other out :D

[sorry dog]

Lemme ask you this then...
What if you track them (say like 17 years old) and you don't like where/when they are/are doing then what are you gonna do about it?
My mother knew I was getting into mischief, but I'd do important things like help maintain her house, visit grandma, work a job for my own money. If she had tried a crackdown, it's probably would have pissed me off into doing worse things.
Actually, the parents of one my best friends doing the same shhit tried and he just ran away for a couple of weeks to another house and did sid the whole time... I think it was a nice vacation for him...his mom was a bitch

[Debbolas]

Good Question..........
I guess, it's not a question of finding out if they are where they are NOT suppose to be ............
as...........
knowing they are safe

[sorry dog]

Well you know the cell phone is safe anyway.

[Debbolas]

Well you know the cell phone is safe anyway.
See. .......that's why the chips under their skin work so much better....I would even let them get a tattoo as a trade off :rollside:
(my sister is a tattoo artist)

[thesunking]

(of course I still check on them in their beds, to make sure they are breathing);)
A good friend of mine lost his 10 y/o son about 2 years ago. We were partners on a jobsite in downtown Riverside and I still remember the phone call he got from his wife to get home quickly, our day had just started at 6AM. Coroners report revealed that he had past away in his sleep. Everyday that I get up I do my daily check on my 2 y/o daughter and 7 y/o son.

[Debbolas]

A good friend of mine lost his 10 y/o son about 2 years ago. We were partners on a jobsite in downtown Riverside and I still remember the phone call he got from his wife to get home quickly, our day had just started at 6AM. Coroners report revealed that he had past away in his sleep. Everyday that I get up I do my daily check on my 2 y/o daughter and 7 y/o son.
Thanks, I don't feel like SUCH a freak now :D