JustMVG
04-30-2006, 06:53 AM
REVISED CYCLE of LIFE
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is
tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get in the end of it?
A death. What's that, a bonus?
I think the life cycle is all backwards.
1. You should die first, you know, start out dead, get it out of the
way. You wake up in a an old age home, feeling better every day.
2. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension,
then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
3. You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your
retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous (hey,
you've only got a few years left, what's the big deal?) and you get ready
for High School.
4. Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have
no responsibilities, and, finally, you become a baby.
5. The last step, you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully with
luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, larger
quarters everyday, and then.......
6. You finish off as an orgasm!
SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTs
Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been
playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the
house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when two people are
sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?"
She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's
called sexual intercourse, darling."
Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to talk and play
with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is
not called sexual intercourse! It's called bunk beds! -- and Jimmy's Mom
wants to talk to you!!"
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is
tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get in the end of it?
A death. What's that, a bonus?
I think the life cycle is all backwards.
1. You should die first, you know, start out dead, get it out of the
way. You wake up in a an old age home, feeling better every day.
2. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension,
then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
3. You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your
retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous (hey,
you've only got a few years left, what's the big deal?) and you get ready
for High School.
4. Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have
no responsibilities, and, finally, you become a baby.
5. The last step, you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully with
luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, larger
quarters everyday, and then.......
6. You finish off as an orgasm!
SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTs
Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been
playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the
house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when two people are
sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?"
She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's
called sexual intercourse, darling."
Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to talk and play
with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is
not called sexual intercourse! It's called bunk beds! -- and Jimmy's Mom
wants to talk to you!!"