burning sensation

[cyclone]

so i'm out at Elsinore late last night testing some new hardware and i burned the crap out of my right arm. I was making holeshot runs by the public ramp on the east side of the lake, you know, giving the locals a show, and during my last pass the acceleration was so great that i lost my grip on the steering wheel. My right arm flung back into the header, just long enough to catch all the arm hair on fire. The g-forces also ripped the scoop off the top of the carbs, broke my Arnet sunglasses in half and damn near ripped my Fubu shirt off my chest too. According to the gps I was going 131 mph, which correlates with the 7,500 rpm tach reading i observed just before I bailed out of the boat to dunk my arm in cool, clean, Elsinore water.
I ended up leaving my boat at the dock with a vagrant crackhead while i drove to the local Auto Zone for a shop rag and some carb cleaner to nurse my wound.
I'm going back today to pick up the boat and that crackhead. I at least owe her a happy meal for keeping my boat safe.
Dont know if I can go to CBBB or not now because its hard to drive one handed and wave at the chicks on the beach.

[Rexone]

the acceleration was so great that i lost my grip on the steering wheel. My right arm flung back into the header, just long enough to catch all the arm hair on fire. The g-forces also ripped the scoop off the top of the carbs, broke my Arnet sunglasses in half and damn near ripped my Fubu shirt off my chest too.
Now that right there is a great sig line. :D

[Hustler]

at least make sure you super size the happy meal for her. and as far as waiving to the chicks on the beach just use your left foot to steer :wink:

[LAFD]

Hahaha Omg Rotfalmao...

[BIGAMIST]

Dont know if I can go to CBBB or not now because its hard to drive one handed and wave at the chicks on the beach.
Thats you..........big pimpin :D :D :D

[BUSBY]

I knew it was going to be a good one! :D
I like how you bailed out at 131!

[disco_charger]

I was sure that this post was about unclean women, and damnit I'm right. FUBU is a good look at the river.

[Mighty Thor]

Since you have now crossed the 15,000 horsepower mark you are now required to list this boat for sale on EBAy. Dont forget to include pictures of your 170 mph NASCAR boat trailer. The one with no spare and the tirechain side links as a safety chain.

[cyclone]

whoa that bail out really messed up my hair! I think before i put the boat or my FUBU shirt for sale on ebay i must first address the safety issue of the headers. Its the responsible thing to do.
No, i'm not going to build any sort of heat shield. Instead, i'm going to make things even safer by including a set of genuine police handcuffs and leg irons for the steering wheel and footrests. No more flying limbs. Keep your arms inside the ride at all times. seriously.

[WUTWZAT]

whoa that bail out really messed up my hair! I think before i put the boat or my FUBU shirt for sale on ebay i must first address the safety issue of the headers. Its the responsible thing to do.
No, i'm not going to build any sort of heat shield. Instead, i'm going to make things even safer by including a set of genuine police handcuffs and leg irons for the steering wheel and footrests. No more flying limbs. Keep your arms inside the ride at all times. seriously.
I believe Simpson already makes padded restraints to keep limbs inside the rollcage of racecars, do you think this my work for your application? I mean you wouldn't want to bruise yourself before signing any autographs or taking any lucky locals to your room while at CBBB. :D
Is Nelson at your house by any chance? Last time I say a thread this good Nelson was at CS19's pad.
Jason

[TRG]

You had better think about installing one of those aluminum wing things. 131 huh?? that aint shizzle! :messedup:

[BUSBY]

So as you were out at Elsinore late last night testing some new hardware and burning the crap out of your right arm making holeshot runs by the public ramp on the east side of the lake giving the locals a show, I heard that during your last pass the acceleration was so great that you lost your grip on the steering wheel and your right arm flung back into the header just long enough to catch all the arm hair on fire and the g-forces also ripped the scoop off the top of the carbs while at the same time breaking your Arnet sunglasses in half and damn near ripped your Fubu shirt off of your chest.
I furthermore heard that according to the gps unit from the police helicopters (plural) that were tracking you showed that you were indeed going in excess of 131 mph, which correlates withthe report that was submitted into evidence to the District Attorney's office.
It furthermore was explained to me that you ended up leaving your boat at the dock with a vagrant crackhead while you drove to the local Auto Zone to purchase items that they reported as being "suspicious materials used to put the subject into a altered state".
Don't bother going back today to pick up the boat and that crackhead. I understand that she was actually an undercover MPD employee who was picked up by another MPD employee driving a late model Chevrolet Truck towing a white and grey Daytona with another guy in the back yelling "let's go tubin'!" seeking to hijack your secrets.
Dont worry about going to CBBB because you're about to be married and won't be allowed to be waving at the chicks on the beach. I would worry about finding the MPD employees and your boat first!
Finnally, I heard that the Sherriff's Dept. is closing in onyour location as we read this for being in violation of Civil Code 12345.678; Wearing a FUBU shirt while driving an extreemly fast boat in speeds in excess of 131 mph while wearing old school Arnette glasses and trashing our most beautiful lake with sheared off carb scoops. A very expensive fine and lenghty jail sentence follows this civil code.
Good luck my friend and god speed!
Brian

[superdave013]

Don't bother going back today to pick up the boat and that crackhead. I understand that she was actually an undercover MPD employee who was picked up by another MPD employee driving a late model Chevrolet Truck towing a white and grey Daytona with another guy in the back yelling "let's go tubin'!" seeking to hijack your secrets.
that is some rich stuff right there. :D

[BUSBY]

:D :D :D :D

[SmokinLowriderSS]

LMFarkin"ar$e OFF!!!! :eat:

[djdtpr]

This is amazing cause Tommy was telling ,me this same story and the whole time i was thinking to my self ya WTF ever but now that i read it and i am just shocked.I hope you are ok and if you need anything let me know. :eek:

[steelcomp]

Man...some guys have all the fun!!! :yuk: :D Yur lucky your hand didn't get cought in the throttle linkage, holding it WFO! :eek:

[TRG]

Man...some guys have all the fun!!! :yuk: :D Yur lucky your hand didn't get cought in the throttle linkage, holding it WFO! :eek:
...or that his right hand made a pass through the blower belt!

[steelcomp]

Finnally, I heard that the Sherriff's Dept. is closing in onyour location as we read this for being in violation of Civil Code 12345.678; Wearing a FUBU shirt while driving an extreemly fast boat in speeds in excess of 131 mph while wearing old school Arnette glasses and trashing our most beautiful lake with sheared off carb scoops. A very expensive fine and lenghty jail sentence follows this civil code.
Not to mention running late at night wearing sunglasses and with no lights!! WTF were you thinking?? :messedup:
Oh, and jumping out of a moving boat. Now that's just not safe. :D

[cyclone]

wow nice try brian but i know you are making that whole thing up about me violating civil code 12345.678. I did happen to run into Officer Gibson today on my way back to the launch ramp. Remember him from the Hot Boat muffler test? He was the guy on the cover of the magazine with the gun. Well he thought i was quite a trooper for bailing out at 133 mph (he corrected my gps reading with his radar gun) and still managing to grab the lanyard attached to my kill switch as i exited out the side of the boat in a nice smooth swan dive, which i timed perfectly to prevent contacting the blower belt with my afro.
According to Officer Gibson, I actually violated a rather obscure maritime law, section 98765.4321, which is derived from the Starkweather VS. Nelson ruling, which states "Any wearer of the Fubu is excused from applicable state, county, municipal, offender data system (SCMODS) noise and speed limts. Furthermore, if the vessel operator combos any article of FUBU with blue powdercoated valve covers then he/she is permitted to Kung Fool/Saw Off anyone in the vicinity for a period of 9 seconds.
Its an obscure ruling but a very important one.
So Officer Gibson let me off with a smack on the ass and even helped me push the sleeping crackhead off the sponsons......

[TRG]

:D

[steelcomp]

wow nice try brian but i know you are making that whole thing up about me violating civil code 12345.678. I did happen to run into Officer Gibson today on my way back to the launch ramp. Remember him from the Hot Boat muffler test? He was the guy on the cover of the magazine with the gun. Well he thought i was quite a trooper for bailing out at 133 mph (he corrected my gps reading with his radar gun) and still managing to grab the lanyard attached to my kill switch as i exited out the side of the boat in a nice smooth swan dive, which i timed perfectly to prevent contacting the blower belt with my afro.
According to Officer Gibson, I actually violated a rather obscure maritime law, section 98765.4321, which is derived from the Starkweather VS. Nelson ruling, which states "Any wearer of the Fubu is excused from applicable state, county, municipal, offender data system (SCMODS) noise and speed limts. Furthermore, if the vessel operator combos any article of FUBU with blue powdercoated valve covers then he/she is permitted to Kung Fool/Saw Off anyone in the vicinity for a period of 9 seconds.
Its an obscure ruling but a very important one.
So Officer Gibson let me off with a smack on the ass and even helped me push the sleeping crackhead off the sponsons......
Our tax dollars hard at work!! :rolleyes: You reallize you're opening yourself up for a lawsuit. Crackhead discrimination. I believe that you were required to give 30 days notice to the crackhead before you wrongfully evicted her from her new residense. Your callas disregard for her services rendered will no doubt go against you, as well. I at least owe her a happy meal for keeping my boat safe.
I'm thinkin that Happy Meal is gonna cost you now.

[cyclone]

under normal circumstances you'd be correct in your assumption about myself being the victim of an unsavory crackhead discrimination lawsuit. But since it is Wednesday, aka hump day, aka crackhead relocation to the parking lot of walmart day, i am in the clear. Skidmark, the crackhead in question, traded up from my right sponson to a parking block at Kmart in exchange for .50 and some envelopes. I threw in some Ho-Ho's just to be nice.

[steelcomp]

under normal circumstances you'd be correct in your assumption about myself being the victim of an unsavory crackhead discrimination lawsuit. But since it is Wednesday, aka hump day, aka crackhead relocation to the parking lot of walmart day, i am in the clear. Skidmark, the crackhead in question, traded up from my right sponson to a parking block at Kmart in exchange for .50 and some envelopes. I threw in some Ho-Ho's just to be nice.
I apologise for the misunderstanding.
I would also like to add that I can no longer keep a straight face!!
Skidmark...HoHo's!! She was already a Ho! LMFAO!! :D

[BUSBY]

Okay, you caught me ... Officer Gibson was in on it ... he put me up to it! But he said that the swan dive, which we both did have to give it to you for missing that fro, turned into more of a belly flop ... in which in his words "was the best damn flop I've seen in a coon's age!"
After coming home and reading about your real infringement of the rather obscure maritime law, section 98765.4321 ... I had to break out the US Coast Guard's Maritime Law Handbook and I found another obscure law that you might have infringed upon:
section 999.101;
Be aware of suspicious activity, particularly near the locations located near and or around anyone traveling in a blown gas jet boat driven by anyone with an afro. Unusual diving activity near the shoreline on Lake Elsinore. Unusual individuals wearing FUBU Gear onboard. Unusual night operations. Shearing or tossing items into/onto the waterway and/or shoreline. Operating in or passing through an area that does not typically have such activity. Anyone operating in an aggressive manner. People attempting to use recreational vessels with short-term, undefined use.Unattended vessels in unusual locations with crack whores sleeping on the sponsons. Individuals establishing questionable business propositions to crack whores near dock locations.
As far as the obscure maritime laws go … there is another that is most commonly overlooked; section 999vs.418 in reference to the infamous case of : The people of TPR vs. The people of MPD in which it clearly states: All persons involved in any type of “Sawing Off” or “Lumberyard Showdowns” should be looking out for people appearing to be engaged in surveillance of any kind (note taking, shooting video/photos, making sketches, or asking questions). These people are not to be trusted, espessially around 12, 24 or 30 packs or Beer. These type of people are to be associated with the types that are engaged in all types of Tom Foolery! It goes on to say that if such people are seen to be lurking about, to immediately take all of the alcohol to Busby and Nelson! At which point they will decide what to do with the said alcohol.
So as you continue on (while following the obscure law that Officer Gibson spoke to you about, being allowed to Kung Fool/Saw Off those in your immediate location) make sure that you remember the aboved mentioned obscure law and confiscate any and all alcohol from anyone near and bring it DIRECTLY to myself and/or Nelson!
Thank you so much for your time.
Brian

[cyclone]

Okay, you caught me ... Officer Gibson was in on it ... he put me up to it! But he said that the swan dive, which we both did have to give it to you for missing that fro, turned into more of a belly flop ... in which in his words "was the best damn flop I've seen in a coon's age!"
After coming home and reading about your real infringement of the rather obscure maritime law, section 98765.4321 ... I had to break out the US Coast Guard's Maritime Law Handbook and I found another obscure law that you might have infringed upon:
section 999.101;
Be aware of suspicious activity, particularly near the locations located near and or around anyone traveling in a blown gas jet boat driven by anyone with an afro. Unusual diving activity near the shoreline on Lake Elsinore. Unusual individuals wearing FUBU Gear onboard. Unusual night operations. Shearing or tossing items into/onto the waterway and/or shoreline. Operating in or passing through an area that does not typically have such activity. Anyone operating in an aggressive manner. People attempting to use recreational vessels with short-term, undefined use.Unattended vessels in unusual locations with crack whores sleeping on the sponsons. Individuals establishing questionable business propositions to crack whores near dock locations.
As far as the obscure maritime laws go … there is another that is most commonly overlooked; section 999vs.418 in reference to the infamous case of : The people of TPR vs. The people of MPD in which it clearly states: All persons involved in any type of “Sawing Off” or “Lumberyard Showdowns” should be looking out for people appearing to be engaged in surveillance of any kind (note taking, shooting video/photos, making sketches, or asking questions). These people are not to be trusted, espessially around 12, 24 or 30 packs or Beer. These type of people are to be associated with the types that are engaged in all types of Tom Foolery! It goes on to say that if such people are seen to be lurking about, to immediately take all of the alcohol to Busby and Nelson! At which point they will decide what to do with the said alcohol.
So as you continue on (while following the obscure law that Officer Gibson spoke to you about, being allowed to Kung Fool/Saw Off those in your immediate location) make sure that you remember the aboved mentioned obscure law and confiscate any and all alcohol from anyone near and bring it DIRECTLY to myself and/or Nelson!
Thank you so much for your time.
Brian
good god I forgot all about obscure section 999vs.418! Where was my brain? Jeezus this means that i'm gonna have to cover up my new top secret hardware this weekend since the proponents of obscure section 999vs.418, Nelson and Starsky,will be in the vicinity of my boat this weekend. Maybe i'll bring Skid Mark as 24 hr security just in case.

[cyclone]

I apologise for the misunderstanding.
I would also like to add that I can no longer keep a straight face!!
Skidmark...HoHo's!! She was already a Ho! LMFAO!! :D
no worries. She's deaf and drools a lot so you can't risk offending Skid Mark.

[superdave013]

swan dives, getting cracked on the ass by the lake cop, afro's .........
Oh, and crackhead & happymeal in the same post ........
Oh you crazy jetter!

[pops1]

No more flying limbs. Keep your arms inside the ride at all times. seriously.I am starting to collect Bent Steering Wheels from Jet Boat Racers- When you get a Good "G" one send it to me- Will add to our "G" Load wall.

[cyclone]

I am starting to collect Bent Steering Wheels from Jet Boat Racers- When you get a Good "G" one send it to me- Will add to our "G" Load wall.
i dont even know what it would take to bend a billet steering wheel.

[superdave013]

i dont even know what it would take to bend a billet steering wheel.
a great running jet or a so so running v drive of course! :eek: :D
ya, I'm bored until noon today. :cool:

[cyclone]

a great running jet or a so so running v drive of course! :eek: :D
ya, I'm bored until noon today. :cool:
Yes you are. this is the most posts i've seen out of you in months.

[BUSBY]

good god I forgot all about obscure section 999vs.418! Where was my brain? Jeezus this means that i'm gonna have to cover up my new top secret hardware this weekend since the proponents of obscure section 999vs.418, Nelson and Starsky,will be in the vicinity of my boat this weekend. Maybe i'll bring Skid Mark as 24 hr security just in case.
Well since Nelson has been swayed to go to the other side (I am under the impression that he got some top secret stuff while down here from the famous Costa Mesa shop during his last visit) ... the Coast Guard might have to revise that obscure section to eliminate him from being one of the the designated individuals to be responsible for Beer responsibility. We might have to petition them to remove him and reissue an sub-section naming you as a secondary Beer official.
I am in agreement that Skid Mark should pack up her Ho-Ho's, .50 and envelopes & make it out the river. Her being toothless will allow her to blend in with the locals out there, therefore she will be a virtually undetected security task force. From what I have heard, her sister (Butt Crack) lives out there. You might drive by the parking lot and see if she can contact her. Once she's packed up her house (an abandoned TV box and backpack) you can drive out there with her in tow (make sure she is strapped down pretty good in the back of your truck ... in my experence tweakers usually wiggle their way out of most tie downs). Then pick up Butt Crack and you can have a 24 hour, stealth, dual survailance anti-MPD secret stealing security team.
Just make sure that you bring a couple of those blow up floaty rings so you can put them in tow as you cruise from place to place. You don't want them to be seen actually IN your boat, otherwise everyone will know who they are and they will not be able to blend in with the other desert crackheads.
Good luck my friend.