Excuses for calling in sick.

[HCS]

Right off of MSN but pretty funny.
I was sprayed by a skunk.
I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.
My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.
I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.
I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
I couldn't find my shoes.
I hurt myself bowling.
I was spit on by a venomous snake.
I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.
A hitman was looking for me.
My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.
I eloped.
My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.
My cat unplugged my alarm clock.
I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.
I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India.
I forgot what day of the week it was.
Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.
A tree fell on my car.
My monkey died.
I had to post on Hot Boat all day. :rolleyes: :D

[topless]

A tree fell on my car.
:Not funny. A tree really did fall on my car a couple years ago. I called the fire department who wouldn't do anything until I lied and said there were live electrical wires all over the street so they came out and at least chain sawed the damn thing off my car so I could get out of the drive way. The bad thing is that it was a city tree and they claimed that this incident was an act of God so I asked them if it was the same God that they won't let my children pray to in school. :eek:

[uvindex]

... so I asked them if it was the same God that they won't let my children pray to in school. :eek:LMAO (if I was the city guy I would have said, "no, that's a different God" just to push your buttons. :)

[HCS]

Not funny. A tree really did fall on my car a couple years ago. I called the fire department who wouldn't do anything until I lied and said there were live electrical wires all over the street so they came out and at least chain sawed the damn thing off my car so I could get out of the drive way. The bad thing is that it was a city tree and they claimed that this incident was an act of God so I asked them if it was the same God that they won't let my children pray to in school. :eek:
You didn't remind them of the separation of church and state. :rolleyes:

[topless]

You didn't remind them of the separation of church and state. :rolleyes:I sued the city because my car was totalled. I lost of course and the judge said the same thing.....act of God. I guess that is their way of laying the blame elsewhere. Do you suppose Katrina was an act of God too or Bush's fault?

[Her454]

I was sprayed by a skunk.
I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.
I was spit on by a venomous snake.
I totaled my Truck in a collision with a cow.
:rolleyes: :D
All VALID reasons, and the dog one was reason enough for almost 3 months off work LOL.

[charlyox]

How about saying you have "anal gloucma" because "I can't see my ass coming to work"

[Parker Dreamin]

I had somebody call me the other day...
" I dont have any gas in my car and I have no money"

[Miss Perfect]

I had somebody call me the other day...
" I dont have any gas in my car and I have no money"
OMG, that is a daily excuse for the winners that work at my company.

[Blown Spectra]

I had somebody call me the other day...
" I dont have any gas in my car and I have no money"
:sleeping: lol

[76ANTHONY]

I PRECALL AND SAY IM DRINKING AND THEY'LL GET SICK OF SEEING ME :cool:

[91nordic29]

How about saying you have "anal gloucma" because "I can't see my ass coming to work"
or i have an EYE problem. I cant see myself coming into work today :D

[MAINEVENT]

"Anal Glaucoma" i just cant see my ass coming in to work today...... :devil:

[PHX ATC]

My favorite, "I threw my ass out sitting on the couch." :D

[ptboat]

How about just being honest ?
Boss, I can't come in to work today cause you are still on top of me !!! :D

[ROZ]

I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
Guilty :p
A tree fell on my car.
A neighbor of mine could have used this excuse once
I had to post on Hot Boat all day. :rolleyes: :D
Never happend :notam: :D

[HCS]

I called my boss one time and said "I just can't get out the door today" he said why what's up? I said "I just can't do it."
It worked. :D

[rivrbrat]

The best one I have heard is this girl called into work and said she wouldn't be in cause her dog had pink eye and she had to stay home to put the medicine in his eyes every four hours.. And this was at a time when she was on a medical work restricting for carpal tunnel required to work only 10 minutes out of every hour. And this is true…