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View Full Version : How to shower like a woman



Wonderboy
09-21-2005, 06:37 PM
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2.Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3.Look at your womanly physique in the mirror, make mental note to do more sit-ups.
4.Get in thes shower, Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5.Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6.Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7.Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8.Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minures until red.
9.Wash entire rest of body with ginget nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10.Shave armpits and legs.
11.Rinse conditioner from hair.
12.Turn off shower.
13.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
14.Get out of shower, dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
15.Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
16.Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
17.If you see husband along the way cover up any exposed areas.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
1.Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2.Walk naked to the bathroom, If you see wife along the way, shake weiner and her making the "woo-woo" sound.
3.Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your weiner and scratch butt.
4.Get in the shower.
5.Wash your face.
6.Wash your armpits.
7.Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8.Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
9.Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10.Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on soap.
11.Shampoo your hair.
12.Make a shampoo Mohawk.
13.PEE
14.Rinse off and get out of shower.
15.Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on the floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
16.Admire wiener size in mirror again.
17.Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
18.Return to bedroom with towel around your waist, IF you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
19.Throw we towel on bed

Nord
09-21-2005, 06:42 PM
LMFAO
That is soo funny!!!

HocusPocus
09-21-2005, 06:46 PM
that just about sez it all.. "woo woo"

Miss Perfect
09-21-2005, 06:48 PM
:rolleyes:

Wonderboy
09-21-2005, 06:49 PM
:rolleyes:
What's wrong with you? This is funny!

Miss Perfect
09-21-2005, 06:51 PM
What's wrong with you? This is funny!
ok, it's funny but I am still rolling my eyes at you! ;)

Kilrtoy
09-21-2005, 06:59 PM
WOO WOO..........
I love it...

Mrs.Racer277
09-21-2005, 07:03 PM
OMG. Saw this a couple of years ago. All of our guy friends started saying Woo Hoo all the time. :rolleyes: :D LMAO! :D

Mrs. casean
09-21-2005, 07:14 PM
Oh so true!!!http://ls1.com/forums/images/smilies/shower.gif

Miss Perfect
09-21-2005, 07:19 PM
Funhater. :D
You are just mad at me because I was right and you weren't. :D

Miss Perfect
09-21-2005, 07:27 PM
I don't get mad. I'm also never wrong. :D
That's not what Roget's says! Hey, just FYI Cata is recognized as correct by Word Spellcheck and catty is not. I AM SO RIGHT ON THIS ONE! :D

Wonderboy
09-21-2005, 07:28 PM
Oh so true!!!http://ls1.com/forums/images/smilies/shower.gif
Nice shower guy! That's pretty cool.

Mrs.Racer277
09-21-2005, 07:39 PM
Oh so true!!!http://ls1.com/forums/images/smilies/shower.gif
OMG love that smilie. Ms Smilie Queen! :wink:

Mrs.Racer277
09-21-2005, 07:40 PM
I don't get mad. I'm also never wrong. :D
See what I mean???? :idea:

pixilatedpussy
09-21-2005, 07:46 PM
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2.Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3.Look at your womanly physique in the mirror, make mental note to do more sit-ups.
4.Get in thes shower, Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5.Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6.Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7.Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8.Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minures until red.
9.Wash entire rest of body with ginget nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10.Shave armpits and legs.
11.Rinse conditioner from hair.
12.Turn off shower.
13.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
14.Get out of shower, dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
15.Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
16.Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
17.If you see husband along the way cover up any exposed areas.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
1.Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2.Walk naked to the bathroom, If you see wife along the way, shake weiner and her making the "woo-woo" sound.
3.Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your weiner and scratch butt.
4.Get in the shower.
5.Wash your face.
6.Wash your armpits.
7.Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8.Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
9.Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10.Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on soap.
11.Shampoo your hair.
12.Make a shampoo Mohawk.
13.PEE
14.Rinse off and get out of shower.
15.Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on the floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
16.Admire wiener size in mirror again.
17.Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
18.Return to bedroom with towel around your waist, IF you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
19.Throw we towel on bed
This is soooooooooo true! How sad for you men! :supp: LOL! :D :clover:

Miss Perfect
09-21-2005, 07:50 PM
What is that supposed to mean? Are you the only person that's allowed to engage in playful banter on HB?
just admit that you were wrong. :D

Mrs.Racer277
09-21-2005, 07:53 PM
What is that supposed to mean? Are you the only person that's allowed to engage in playful banter on HB?
Not at all. :rolleyes: :)

Mrs. casean
09-21-2005, 08:07 PM
OMG love that smilie. Ms Smilie Queen! :wink:
I always try to give you good smiles :D I have sucked latley at them... :rolleyes: http://ls1.com/forums/images/smilies/headscratch.gif http://ls1.com/forums/images/smilies/monkey.gif

Mrs.Racer277
09-21-2005, 08:12 PM
I always try to give you good smiles :D I have sucked latley at them... :rolleyes: http://ls1.com/forums/images/smilies/headscratch.gif http://ls1.com/forums/images/smilies/monkey.gif
Well get on it. You know it's about time I steal I mean get a new avitar. ;) :D
Sorry I have not chatted with you, I have been actually working these days. :mad:

Wonderboy
09-21-2005, 08:15 PM
This is soooooooooo true! How sad for you men! :supp: LOL! :D :clover:
What do you mean? You guys are the ones that have to pick the stuff up and turn off the lights :D . Not to mention doing the laundry, dishes, houswork, etc.

Mrs. casean
09-21-2005, 08:16 PM
Well get on it. You know it's about time I steal I mean get a new avitar. ;) :D
Sorry I have not chatted with you, I have been actually working these days. :mad:
Working??? You???? :D hahaha... No worries... we'll chat in a month on the water at least!! http://ls1.com/forums/images/smilies/shots.gif

alfonzo
09-21-2005, 08:18 PM
Thats flippin awsome!!!! Funny shiat!!

Miss Perfect
09-21-2005, 08:38 PM
How about if I admit you were partially right? :D
Ok, I'll take that! :wink:

Miss Perfect
09-21-2005, 08:50 PM
I was just throwing out some ideas. :D
Ok, good because I know I was totally right, not just partially! :D

Miss Perfect
09-21-2005, 08:53 PM
We may have to get our respective union leaders involved. :D
Well I would have Bruce Lee just kick your ass but he is MIA

JackieV
09-21-2005, 10:20 PM
LMAO!!! Great stuff! Glad you posted it, this is some classic shit. Oh how funny! :p