Parker Funny

[mmered8299]

Desert Living' in Parker, Arizona !!!!
May 30th: Just moved to Parker. Now this is a place
that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy
evenings. What a place! It is beautiful. I've finally found my home.
I love it here.
June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live
in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a
pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun
worshipper.
June 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today.
Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing
lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do
people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy
though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
July 15th: Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns
over 60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I
learned my lesson though. Got to respect the old' sun in a climate like
this.
July 20th: I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I
left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had
died and swollen up the size of a shopping bag and stank up the upholstery.
The car now smells like Kibbles and shits I learned my lesson though.
No more pets in this heat.
July 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow
dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz
and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he
neeed to order parts.
July 30th: Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now.
$425,000 house and I can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
Aug. 4th: Its 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed
today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this
stupid state.
Aug. 8th: If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?'
I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the
radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like
baked cat!!
Aug. 9th: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and
when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. I
lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now
my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.
Aug 10th: The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot
and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do shit
for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next
week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert? Water rationing will be
next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even
the cactus can't live in this damn heat.
Aug. 14th: Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 120 today. Forgot to
crack the window and blew the damn windshield of the car. The
installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My sister had to
spend $1500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Arizona. What
kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?? Will write
later to let you know how the trial goes.

[Tequila-John]

Now that was sme funny SH*T right there. HAHHAAHHAHA Thank you

[pjones]

I never get tired of that one. There's also one about moving up north
and dealing w/ the snow that is really funny. Haven't seen it in a while.

[riverbound]

Thats ****ing funny....true though :)

[atomickitn]

lmao

[Sleek-Jet]

We need to add a few monsoon entries in August as well... something along the lines of it raining and being 120* outside... :D

[Boatcop]

Someone find out where he got a service call and A/C repair out here for only $500?
I'd have that sucker on speed dial. :crossx:

[Run_em_Hard]

Now that was some funny shit.

[Jyruiz]

Lol.