Playing the deuce at the gym

[Tom Brown]

I had a great workout yesterday. Monday is always good. After 50 minutes on the elliptical machine, I headed back to the locker room. I was mucho relaxed but I could feel my stomach beginning to cramp a little.
There is a big tiled area in the locker room for the showers, urinals, sinks, and a single toilet. The toilet is partitioned from the rest of the area with steel partition panels. The gap between the floor and the bottom of the partition is about 18 inches and I can see over the top when I stand up. It's enough to keep people from seeing your face while seated but little more.
The thing is, I knew there was going to be substantial quantities of gas preceding the solid matter. The showers were crowded and it's like an echo chamber in there. .... but I really had to take care of it.
What to do? :idea:
I have a really good sound system.... Sennheiser headphones and a great mp3 player. As luck would have it, it was still around my neck.
At the risk of being completely immodest, the solution I devised is pure genius.
I put the headphones on, pressed play, cranked it up,... and let fly. Coincidentally enough, George Thorogood came up. Hell yeah. I didn't try to ease the gas out. Oh no. I relaxed my ass and let nature take it's course. There was gas. There was plopping. There was sputtering. Ooooooo..... While GT was screaming at me to get a haircut and a real job, I burned that bitch to the ground.
I left that stall with a proud look and a big smile.
What a great workout. Life is good. :)

[Jbb]

Brown.....you disgust me.... :mad: ...Nice job!...... :p

[Mrs. Bordsmnj]

Just flush constantly Tom. :p

[riverbound]

Why would you put the headphones on??? Then you cant hear all the people laughing.....thats the best part :)

[uvindex]

Then you cant hear all the people laughing....Laughing or stampeding out of the restroom like rats off a sinking ship? :D

[Jyruiz]

I would have been cheering my ass on, "hell yea baby, that is the way to do it" and "own it"

[ROZ]

The thing is, I knew there was going to be substantial quantities of gas preceding the solid matter. The showers were crowded and it's like an echo chamber in there.
Ahh, prefecal gas. A sure sign a disaster of biblical proportions is about to errupt. Excellent ! :D
So, did anyone shake your hand after you were done?

[Tom Brown]

So, did anyone shake your hand after you were done?
No hand shaking. No eye contact.

[Sleek-Jet]

No hand shaking. No eye contact.
Nice to see Tom knows the rules...
They need to be printed and posted in every bathroom IMHO... :D

[ROZ]

No hand shaking. No eye contact.
How about a cheer after you exited into the weightroom ?

[ROZ]

Nice to see Tom knows the rules...
He's no rookie...
They need to be printed and posted in every bathroom IMHO... :D
I agree 100% ! :D

[LAFD]

hahahahaha thats some funny sh*t right there. hahaha.

[Tom Brown]

How about a cheer after you exited into the weightroom ?
There was nothing of this sort.
Those losers have no respect for a good bowel movement.

[1stepcloser]

Genius, Brown. Sheer genius.
You are a master my friend, a true logophile.

[FMluvswater]

I had a great workout yesterday. Monday is always good. After 50 minutes on the elliptical machine, I headed back to the locker room. I was mucho relaxed but I could feel my stomach beginning to cramp a little.
There is a big tiled area in the locker room for the showers, urinals, sinks, and a single toilet. The toilet is partitioned from the rest of the area with steel partition panels. The gap between the floor and the bottom of the partition is about 18 inches and I can see over the top when I stand up. It's enough to keep people from seeing your face while seated but little more.
The thing is, I knew there was going to be substantial quantities of gas preceding the solid matter. The showers were crowded and it's like an echo chamber in there. .... but I really had to take care of it.
What to do? :idea:
I have a really good sound system.... Sennheiser headphones and a great mp3 player. As luck would have it, it was still around my neck.
At the risk of being completely immodest, the solution I devised is pure genius.
I put the headphones on, pressed play, cranked it up,... and let fly. Coincidentally enough, George Thorogood came up. Hell yeah. I didn't try to ease the gas out. Oh no. I relaxed my ass and let nature take it's course. There was gas. There was plopping. There was sputtering. Ooooooo..... While GT was screaming at me to get a haircut and a real job, I burned that bitch to the ground.
I left that stall with a proud look and a big smile.
What a great workout. Life is good. :)
Nice! :D :cool:

[lucky]

it would have been even more impressive if you where able to exit the crapper with a 500 lb squat bar on your shoulders !
I think" Dr feel good" would have been a good choice to finish with !

[HP350SC]

I like to scream NURRRSE!!! after the first loud noises :skull:
Sennheiser eh? You know your stuff.

[78Eliminator]

Oh my god Tom, that was laugh out loud funny!!!! Nice job!!!!! Hahaaha

[rrrr]

You hafta wonder about the poor bastard that wanders into Hot Boat forums and this is the first thread he reads.
I'd say scarred for life. :skull: :skull:

[Her454]

You hafta wonder about the poor bastard that wanders into Hot Boat forums and this is the first thread he reads.
I'd say scarred for life. :skull: :skull:
Weeds out the unwanted. :rollside: Funny stuff Tom.

[76ANTHONY]

TOM BROWN your the crapper king in my book buddy, perfect play by play also :D :D

[Nord]

Good story Tom!!!
Glad it was boat related too!! lol!!

[ECeptor]

You are bad to the bone buddy!!!

[HCS]

Is this how you do it? (http://www.dumpalink.com/media/1132655285/Atomic_Sit-Up_)

[Phat Matt]

So when did you actually play with it? :confused:

[MagicMtnDan]

As long as your gym shorts didn't have any skid marks on 'em you did OK. :rollside: