spectras only
12-05-2005, 07:54 AM
> >> Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics,
> >> these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!! Believe
> >> it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International
> >> Tourism Website (frightening, isn't it!)
> >>
> >> Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked.
> >>
> >>
> >> Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants
> >> grow?(UK)
> >> A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch
> >> them
> >> die.
> >>
> >> Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
> >> A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
> >>
> >> Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad
> >> tracks? (Sweden)
> >> A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
> >>
> >> Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
> >> A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
> >>
> >> Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to
> >> contact
> >>
> >> for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
> >> A: Let's not touch this one.
> >>
> >> Q: Are there any ATM's(cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list
> >> of
> >> them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
> >> A: What did your last slave die of?
> >>
> >> Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
> >> A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
> >> Ca-na-da
> >> is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo
racing
> >> is
> >> every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
> >>
> >> Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
> >> A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when y ou get here
and
> >> we'll send the rest of the directions.
> >>
> >> Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
> >> A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
> >>
> >> Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
> >> A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
> >> is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
night
> >> in
> >> Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
> >>
> >> Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
> >> A: No, WE don't stink.
> >>
> >> Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can
you
> >> sell it in Canada? (USA)
> >> A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
> >>
> >> Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
> >> population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
> >> A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
> >>
> >> Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
> >> A: Only at Thanksgiving.
> >>
> >> Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is m ilk available all year
> >> round?
> >> (Germany)
> >> A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is
> >> illegal.
> >>
> >> Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its
> >> name.
> >>
> >> It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
> >> A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the
brains
> >> of
> >>
> >> anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying
yourself
> >> with human urine before you go out walking.
> >>
> >> Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
> >> A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
> >>
> >> these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!! Believe
> >> it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International
> >> Tourism Website (frightening, isn't it!)
> >>
> >> Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked.
> >>
> >>
> >> Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants
> >> grow?(UK)
> >> A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch
> >> them
> >> die.
> >>
> >> Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
> >> A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
> >>
> >> Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad
> >> tracks? (Sweden)
> >> A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
> >>
> >> Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
> >> A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
> >>
> >> Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to
> >> contact
> >>
> >> for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
> >> A: Let's not touch this one.
> >>
> >> Q: Are there any ATM's(cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list
> >> of
> >> them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
> >> A: What did your last slave die of?
> >>
> >> Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
> >> A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
> >> Ca-na-da
> >> is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo
racing
> >> is
> >> every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
> >>
> >> Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
> >> A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when y ou get here
and
> >> we'll send the rest of the directions.
> >>
> >> Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
> >> A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
> >>
> >> Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
> >> A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
> >> is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
night
> >> in
> >> Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
> >>
> >> Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
> >> A: No, WE don't stink.
> >>
> >> Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can
you
> >> sell it in Canada? (USA)
> >> A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
> >>
> >> Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
> >> population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
> >> A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
> >>
> >> Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
> >> A: Only at Thanksgiving.
> >>
> >> Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is m ilk available all year
> >> round?
> >> (Germany)
> >> A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is
> >> illegal.
> >>
> >> Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its
> >> name.
> >>
> >> It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
> >> A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the
brains
> >> of
> >>
> >> anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying
yourself
> >> with human urine before you go out walking.
> >>
> >> Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
> >> A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
> >>