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396_WAYS_TO_SPIT
05-16-2006, 05:30 PM
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror make a mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower.
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Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Condition your hair with enhanced grapefruit mint conditioner.
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower.
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Dry with towel the size of a small country. Â Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. Â If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
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Get in the shower.
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Wash your face.
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Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Â Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
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If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. Â Have a great day!
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Oh and woo woo!!!
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