AZJD
06-12-2006, 02:48 PM
Number 10 -- Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 -- Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 -- Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 -- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 -- Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Number 5 -- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 -- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 -- Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 -- In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
Number 9 -- Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 -- Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 -- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 -- Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Number 5 -- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 -- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 -- Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 -- In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.