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Jbb
01-09-2006, 01:55 AM
Chuck Norris was going to spend a relaxing day watching television when one of those commercials for Trix cereal came on. Angered by what he saw, Chuck Norris spent the rest of his, what was supposed to be a relaxing day, punching every child he came across. He would then shout at them, “Trix are for Chuck Norris.”
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris has a word for a person he puts into a coma; that word is "lucky".
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
As a teen Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
The sun doesn't actually rise or set. Chuck Norris simply claps twice.
Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Chuck Norris tendon. You do the math.
Chuck Norris cloned himself just to see if he could kick his own ass. The result was the second ice age.
Rather than "good intentions," Chuck Norris paved the road to Hell with the mangled corpses of the Viet Cong.

hoolign
01-09-2006, 02:20 AM
Chuck Norris was going to spend a relaxing day watching television when one of those commercials for Trix cereal came on. Angered by what he saw, Chuck Norris spent the rest of his, what was supposed to be a relaxing day, punching every child he came across. He would then shout at them, “Trix are for Chuck Norris.”
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris has a word for a person he puts into a coma; that word is "lucky".
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
As a teen Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
The sun doesn't actually rise or set. Chuck Norris simply claps twice.
Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Chuck Norris tendon. You do the math.
Chuck Norris cloned himself just to see if he could kick his own ass. The result was the second ice age.
Rather than "good intentions," Chuck Norris paved the road to Hell with the mangled corpses of the Viet Cong.
My god!! I must have drank wayyy to much tonight beacuse i think I "peed a little" everytime I read one!! :D

BigBlockBaja
01-09-2006, 02:24 AM
My god!! I must have drank wayyy to much tonight beacuse i think I "peed a little" everytime I read one!! :D
You piss yourself way to much

hoolign
01-09-2006, 02:32 AM
ummm..Apparently Chuck needs to visit my woman!,,,,For some reason she does not find any of this ...the least bit funny at this time of morning!( yes I woke her up for it!)...and I even yelled "BOOYA " at her four times ~! I'm fukked!....

hoolign
01-09-2006, 02:35 AM
You piss yourself way to much
"PEE" man "PEE" not "PISS" I'm talkin like a couple drops!..your thinkin some kind of "somthin bout Mary " Kinda PEE! :D

BigBlockBaja
01-09-2006, 02:51 AM
"PEE" man "PEE" not "PISS" I'm talkin like a couple drops!..your thinkin some kind of "somthin bout Mary " Kinda PEE! :D
Dont zipper your pecker up!

Jbb
01-09-2006, 03:22 AM
http://www.myspacenow.com/myspace/animated167.gif

Tom Brown
01-09-2006, 07:06 AM
Rather than "good intentions," Chuck Norris paved the road to Hell with the mangled corpses of the Viet Cong.
Ya know.............. ahhhhhh........... forget it. :D

rrrr
01-09-2006, 07:08 AM
As a teen Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
LMFAO!!!!!! :D :D

Tom Brown
01-09-2006, 07:13 AM
LMFAO!!!!!! :D :D
Yeah. I have no idea why this shit is so funny but even I'm peeing a little and I'm not incontinent like Hooli.

Jbb
01-09-2006, 06:13 PM
"When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris."
:p :p

OutCole'd
01-09-2006, 07:23 PM
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
LMAO... :D

Froggystyle
01-09-2006, 09:25 PM
"Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing."
This is my favorite, although this one...
"Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Chuck Norris tendon. You do the math."
Had me laughing the hardest. Funny how reading this aloud to Craig who is feverishly working on our new website didn't have the same comedic effect it had on me reading it.
I am supposed to be working on Solidworks you see... something about a front ramp stop that I should have finished an hour ago.