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View Full Version : I drank some milk that was sour and lumpy


Tom Brown
07-20-2006, 06:57 PM
... and now I'm extremely constipated. My stomach is distended, I feel uncomfortable, and I'm farting like RiverDave the morning after a bender.
What do you think? Any connection?
I expected diarrhea, not constipation. :confused:
Trailer Park Casanova
07-20-2006, 06:59 PM
You must have been on a Royal Carribean Cruise.
The kids drank some last week too.
It'll pass quickly,, try Pepto Dismal.
Devil's Advocate
07-20-2006, 07:02 PM
Are you sure that wasn't barium you drank??? :jawdrop: Sounds like the prep for a lower GI. Shiat Tom, I know more about your ass that I do about your face. :crossx:
Daytona100
07-20-2006, 07:10 PM
Just shoot yourself the pain will be over quicker!!!!!!!!!! :skull:
moneypit
07-20-2006, 07:11 PM
Go to your local vet. Ask them for some bismuth. Its a good mineral that they used to give to pigs to keep the ulcers down.
Also get some corn meal and a fan. Wedge some watered down corn meal in around your crease, spread your legs and position the fan at the base of your bed. Turn it on high to feel the coolness dissolve your hemmorhoids. Eat popcicles and watch some Mash re-runs.
That will fix you up.. :p
Devil's Advocate
07-20-2006, 07:13 PM
Go to your local vet. Ask them for some bismuth. Its a good mineral that they used to give to pigs to keep the ulcers down.
Also get some corn meal and a fan. Wedge some watered down corn meal in around your crease, spread your legs and position the fan at the base of your bed. Turn it on high to feel the coolness dissolve your hemmorhoids. Eat popcicles and watch some Mash re-runs.
That will fix you up.. :p
ROFLMFAO :D
You Te
07-20-2006, 07:14 PM
Gee thanks for sharing that info Tom.
Rexone
07-20-2006, 07:43 PM
Try a few oz of castor oil Tom. Enjoy your evening in the restroom. :)
Jbb
07-20-2006, 07:44 PM
Brown.......you disgust me.... :yuk:
ROZ
07-20-2006, 07:54 PM
Nothing a pound of psyllium won't take care of :)
Eat it, don't smoke it :D
soupersonic
07-20-2006, 08:15 PM
... and now I'm extremely constipated. My stomach is distended, I feel uncomfortable, and I'm farting like RiverDave the morning after a bender.
What do you think? Any connection?
I expected diarrhea, not constipation. :confused:
Where were you the other night when WE really needed you,im so disappointed :crossx:
No Name
07-20-2006, 08:59 PM
It’s always something with you isn’t it Tom?
Tom Brown
07-20-2006, 08:59 PM
Are you sure that wasn't barium you drank???
Pretty sure, although it sure didn't taste much like milk, all lumpy and stinky. I thought maybe the bad stuff was just on the top but the second glass tasted as bad as the first.
ROZ
07-20-2006, 09:06 PM
If at first you don't succeed, try and try again :D
Devil's Advocate
07-20-2006, 09:19 PM
Pretty sure, although it sure didn't taste much like milk, all lumpy and stinky. I thought maybe the bad stuff was just on the top but the second glass tasted as bad as the first.
What possessed you to go in for a second drink?.... :yuk: :220v:
Tom Brown
07-20-2006, 09:21 PM
What possessed you to go in for a second drink?.... :yuk: :220v:
I'm out of alcohol, I was bored, and there was a whole evening to kill.
ROZ
07-20-2006, 09:23 PM
I'm out of alcohol, I was bored, and there was a whole evening to kill.
Thatnk god it was just gas ... would have sucked to have run out of toiletpaper...
BadKachina
07-20-2006, 09:25 PM
I'm out of alcohol, I was bored, and there was a whole evening to kill.
Try sniffing glue, that's always fun. :rollside:
Devil's Advocate
07-20-2006, 09:31 PM
I'm out of alcohol, I was bored, and there was a whole evening to kill.
Well I guess that was some serious boredom then to go in for the white, lumpy, smelly stuff.. :p
LaveyJet
07-20-2006, 09:38 PM
Try some Coke
http://membres.lycos.fr/classpaclass/hpbimg/coke_diarrhea.JPG
Tom Brown
07-20-2006, 09:57 PM
The man has some dexterity, I'll give you that.
No Name
07-20-2006, 10:15 PM
Tom did the lumpy milk look like this?
http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/520/3087cottage-med.jpg
Or like this?
http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/520/3087big.jpg
AirtimeLavey
07-20-2006, 10:16 PM
Is this one of those...my fart's better than your farts thread? I think everyone likes theirs best, and it's pretty much in how you use them, isn't? I mean what's important to you, may not be what's important to the next guy. Heck, isn't really just that you have fart that's important? Unless that's covered under the new Havasu ordinances. Is it illegal to fart in the channel, now?
Drift
07-20-2006, 10:31 PM
... and now I'm extremely constipated. My stomach is distended, I feel uncomfortable, and I'm farting like RiverDave the morning after a bender.
What do you think? Any connection?
I expected diarrhea, not constipation. :confused:
You are in danger... there is no time to call 911... Quickly run to your bar and take 2 shots of Jagermeister... OK make that 3 shots (not waiting between) this should get the stomach working... Now drop trow and head for the back yard... Take garden hose and shove up your neather region... turn water up to highest preasure and hold.... This should help nature along... :crossx: