Ode to Fart-Can Rice Rockets...

[HighRoller]

It was early in the morning when I was startled by the deafening flatutory roar of 85 angry horsepower that pierced the silence of my commute. I looked around fervantly, searching for a porta-potty with a constipated construction worker in it to no avail. Suddenly I realized the racket was coming from next to me! I followed the crescendo of ever increasing RPM, finally spotting the culprit about the time he hit the rev limiter and cleared the crosswalk. The fierce whining was reduced to a roar as second gear was engaged and the little rice rocket bounced like a low rider with an epileptic behind the wheel. Judging from the harsh ride, I guessed that all the Japanese writing splayed across the hood was probably the name of a local chiropractor.
I marveled at the unique styling of the tiny car as I passed him in my pickup truck. His big, shiny, 7 inch muffler said "Type-R" on one side and "Folger's" on the other just behind where it transitioned from his 1" exhaust pipe. Something that looked like a rain gutter folded flat was bolted to the trunk, and the windows were tinted a light shade of magenta. Inside, only the top of a sideways hat was visible over the window sill, its bill tilted up as the driver strained to look at the dash. With all of the bouncing I couldn't tell whether he was looking at his 10" monster tach, Ipod, cell phone, video display, digital stereo readout or one of the 14 yellow faced guages in front of him. Possibly he was looking at his reflection in the chrome finish of the fire extinguisher bolted to the roll cage next to him. He hit third gear halfway across the intersection, and as I left him behind I took one final look in my rearview mirror at him. I could have never known what kind of fearsome machine he was driving if it hadn't been for the full width vinyl sticker on his windshield that read "PHAT HYUNDAI"........ :crossx: :devil: :D

[JB in so cal]

LMFAO!
I was behind a duesche bag yesterday; white early 90's civic lowered so far the back wheels tilted inward; coffee can was belching blue smoke whenever he hit it.
Classic. :cool:

[lucky]

I followed some jack ass in a maxima with a hot boat sticker on it

[Nord]

It was early in the morning when I was startled by the deafening flatutory roar of 85 angry horsepower that pierced the silence of my commute. I looked around fervantly, searching for a porta-potty with a constipated construction worker in it to no avail. Suddenly I realized the racket was coming from next to me! I followed the crescendo of ever increasing RPM, finally spotting the culprit about the time he hit the rev limiter and cleared the crosswalk. The fierce whining was reduced to a roar as second gear was engaged and the little rice rocket bounced like a low rider with an epileptic behind the wheel. Judging from the harsh ride, I guessed that all the Japanese writing splayed across the hood was probably the name of a local chiropractor.
I marveled at the unique styling of the tiny car as I passed him in my pickup truck. His big, shiny, 7 inch muffler said "Type-R" on one side and "Folger's" on the other just behind where it transitioned from his 1" exhaust pipe. Something that looked like a rain gutter folded flat was bolted to the trunk, and the windows were tinted a light shade of magenta. Inside, only the top of a sideways hat was visible over the window sill, its bill tilted up as the driver strained to look at the dash. With all of the bouncing I couldn't tell whether he was looking at his 10" monster tach, Ipod, cell phone, video display, digital stereo readout or one of the 14 yellow faced guages in front of him. Possibly he was looking at his reflection in the chrome finish of the fire extinguisher bolted to the roll cage next to him. He hit third gear halfway across the intersection, and as I left him behind I took one final look in my rearview mirror at him. I could have never known what kind of fearsome machine he was driving if it hadn't been for the full width vinyl sticker on his windshield that read "PHAT HYUNDAI"........ :crossx: :devil: :D
Great lmao..................
About a month ago, I saw this kid driving around a very expensive looking dink car called a Ford Focus that he thought was the fastest thing.
He was at the light and I was behind him. Right after we stopped, a man around 50ish pulled up in a Vette that was probably like a 97 or 98.
The kid kept gassing the car to stir up a race with this guy who at that time was peeling his gorilla hair away from the front of his watch to check the time. He then grabbed his 4" gold nugget medallion which dangled from his necklace, kissed it and just sat there. When the light turned green, the kid spun his tires and fired out. ................
Only to get his ass smoked by the guy with the "Vette makes em' Wet" T-shirt.
Priceless....................................

[dmontzsta]

I followed some jack ass in a maxima with a hot boat sticker on it
Thats not nice to call your Dad a jack ass.
:)

[Ducatista]

[QUOTE=HighRoller]It was early in the morning when I was startled by the deafening flatutory roar of 85 angry horsepower that pierced the silence of my commute.
Thought you were talkin bout a Harley there for a second. :D

[HighRoller]

Actually, I've found that the average Harley has more horsepower and is quieter than the average fart-can car :D

[HighRoller]

http://www.importevolution.com/videos/drm.wmv
Even the "fast" imports bite off more than they can chew. The car that is filming runs 13 flat and is all wheel drive. Amazing how hard the Vette pulls it after he stops smoking the tires. The scary part is that the Vette also has a 150HP nitrous shot but he didn't use it in that clip!!

[Biglue]

I can't stand those rice rocketeers either. :cool:

[dmontzsta]

I give that DSM credit for racing him. I bet that DSM will beat the shit out of most cars on the street. There is not alot of domestics as fast at a lingenfelter vette on the streets.

[02HoWaRd26]

That Vette is so sik it straight got it that first go around

[LAFD]

i love the expretions from those two focker when that vette pulled away. hahaha classic..

[Red Horse]

A tach on the dash with a light and an exhaust does not make a hotrod. You need some cubes and real engine parts.

[Run_em_Hard]

I will take the street home somethimes that is the "crusin" street sometimes for fun. Pulled up at a three lane stop light with a ricer that had all the ricer stuff, body kit, exaust, whatever and a f150 that was lowered with wheels and shit. When I pulled up the honda reved up his motor so high that it was bouncin off the rev. Reved mine up a little to get some boost built...light changed and I left them in a big cloud of thick black smoke. Dang it feels good woopin all those kids asses in their little cars. Ricers SUCK!

[Run_em_Hard]

Check this out..pretty funny
http://putfile.com/pic.php?pic=1/917132930.jpg&s=x11

[dmontzsta]

It is a sad thing.
There was a guy asking how he could make his civic faster. Basically, he had $1,100.00 burning a whole in his pocket. It was a 95 civic dx auto. I had to tell him "put the car up for sale, use the money from the car + the $1,100.00 and buy something with more potential." You can make an import fast. But to dump insane amounts of money doing it, is just stupid.

[Tom Brown]

I followed some jack ass in a maxima with a hot boat sticker on it
If we lived closer to each other, I would consider being offended right about now. :D

[dmontzsta]

If we lived closer to each other, I would consider being offended right about now. :D
Hows the beast holding up? are you still using it as a tow rig?
:)