Froggystyle
08-07-2006, 01:37 PM
Pretty funny stuff from his show...
Dennis Miller is a comedian who has a show
called Dennis Miller Live on HBO. He is not Jewish.
He said the following about the Modest situation:
"A brief overview of the situation is always valuable, so as a service
to all Americans who still don't get it, I now offer you the story of
the Middle East in just a few paragraphs, which is all you really need.
Here we go:
The Palestinians want their own country. There's just one thing about
that: There are no Palestinians. It's a made up word. Israel was called
Palestine for two thousand years. Like "Wiccan," "Palestinian" sounds
ancient but is really a modern invention. Before the Israelis won the
land in the 1967 war, Gaza was owned by Egypt, the West Bank was owned
by Jordan, and there were no "Palestinians." As soon as the Jews took
over and started growing oranges as big as basketballs, what do you
know, say hello to the "Palestinians," weeping for their deep bond with
their lost "land" and "nation." So for the sake of honesty, let's not
use the word "Palestinian" anymore to describe these delightful folks,
who dance for joy at our deaths, until someone points out they're being
taped. Instead, let's call them what they are: "Other Arabs Who Can't
Accomplish Anything In Life And Would Rather Wrap Themselves In The
Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal Struggle And Death."
I know that's a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN. How about this,
then: "Adjacent Jew-Haters." Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters want
their own country. Oops, just one more thing. No, they don't. They
could've had their own country any time in the last thirty years,
especially two years ago at Camp David but if you have your own
country, you have to have traffic lights and garbage trucks and
Chambers of Commerce,and, worse, you actually have to figure out some
way to make a living. That's no fun. No, they want what all the other
Jew-Haters in the region want: Israel. They also want a big pile of
dead Jews, of course -- that's where the real fun is -- but mostly they
want Israel. Why? For one thing, trying to destroy Israel - or "The
Zionist Entity" as their textbooks call it -- for the last fifty years
has allowed the rulers of Arab countries to divert the attention of
their own people away from the fact that they're the blue-ribbon most
illiterate, poorest, and tribally backward on God's Earth, and if
you've ever been around God's Earth...you know that's really saying
something. It makes me roll my eyes every time one of our pundits waxes
poetic about the great history and culture of the Muslim Midleast.
Unless I'm missing something,the Arabs haven't given anything to the
world since Algebra, and, by the way, thanks a hell of a lot for that
one
Chew this around & spit it out: 500 million Arabs; 5 million Jews.
Think of all the Arab countries as a football field, and Israel as a
pack of matches sitting in the middle of it. And now these same folks
swear that, if Israel gives them half of that pack of matches, everyone
will be pals Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what about the
string of wars to obliterate the tiny country and the constant din of
rabid blood oaths to drive every Jew into the sea?Oh, that? We were
just kidding.
My friend Kevin Rooney made a gorgeous point the other day: Just
reverse the numbers. Imagine 500 million Jews and 5 million Arabs. I
was stunned at the simple brilliance of it. Can anyone picture the
Jews strapping belts of razor blades and dynamite to themselves? Of
course not. Or marshaling every fiber and force at their disposal for
generations to drive a tiny Arab State into the sea? Nonsense. Or
dancing for joy at the murder of innocents? Impossible. Or spreading
and believing horrible lies about the Arabs baking their bread with
the blood of children? Disgusting. No, as you know, left to themselves
in a world of peace, the worst Jews would ever do to people is debate
them to death.
Mr. Bush, God bless him, is walking a tightrope I understand that,
with vital operations in Iraq and others, it's in our interest, as
Americans, to try to stabilize our Arab allies as much as possible,
and, after all, that can't be much harder than stabilizing a roomful of
super models who've just had their drugs taken away. However, in any
big-picture strategy, there's always a danger of losing moral weight.
We've already lost some. After September 11th, our president told us
and the world he was going to root out all terrorists and the countries
that supported them. Beautiful. Then the Israelis, after months and
months of having the equivalent of an Oklahoma City every week (and
then every day), start to do the same thing we did, and we tell them
to show restraint. If America were being attacked with an Oklahoma
City every day, we would all very shortly be screaming for the
administration to just be done with it and kill everything south of
the Mediterranean and east of the Jordan.
Please feel free to pass this along to your friends. Walk in peace! Be
happy! Have a wonderful life."=
Dennis Miller is a comedian who has a show
called Dennis Miller Live on HBO. He is not Jewish.
He said the following about the Modest situation:
"A brief overview of the situation is always valuable, so as a service
to all Americans who still don't get it, I now offer you the story of
the Middle East in just a few paragraphs, which is all you really need.
Here we go:
The Palestinians want their own country. There's just one thing about
that: There are no Palestinians. It's a made up word. Israel was called
Palestine for two thousand years. Like "Wiccan," "Palestinian" sounds
ancient but is really a modern invention. Before the Israelis won the
land in the 1967 war, Gaza was owned by Egypt, the West Bank was owned
by Jordan, and there were no "Palestinians." As soon as the Jews took
over and started growing oranges as big as basketballs, what do you
know, say hello to the "Palestinians," weeping for their deep bond with
their lost "land" and "nation." So for the sake of honesty, let's not
use the word "Palestinian" anymore to describe these delightful folks,
who dance for joy at our deaths, until someone points out they're being
taped. Instead, let's call them what they are: "Other Arabs Who Can't
Accomplish Anything In Life And Would Rather Wrap Themselves In The
Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal Struggle And Death."
I know that's a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN. How about this,
then: "Adjacent Jew-Haters." Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters want
their own country. Oops, just one more thing. No, they don't. They
could've had their own country any time in the last thirty years,
especially two years ago at Camp David but if you have your own
country, you have to have traffic lights and garbage trucks and
Chambers of Commerce,and, worse, you actually have to figure out some
way to make a living. That's no fun. No, they want what all the other
Jew-Haters in the region want: Israel. They also want a big pile of
dead Jews, of course -- that's where the real fun is -- but mostly they
want Israel. Why? For one thing, trying to destroy Israel - or "The
Zionist Entity" as their textbooks call it -- for the last fifty years
has allowed the rulers of Arab countries to divert the attention of
their own people away from the fact that they're the blue-ribbon most
illiterate, poorest, and tribally backward on God's Earth, and if
you've ever been around God's Earth...you know that's really saying
something. It makes me roll my eyes every time one of our pundits waxes
poetic about the great history and culture of the Muslim Midleast.
Unless I'm missing something,the Arabs haven't given anything to the
world since Algebra, and, by the way, thanks a hell of a lot for that
one
Chew this around & spit it out: 500 million Arabs; 5 million Jews.
Think of all the Arab countries as a football field, and Israel as a
pack of matches sitting in the middle of it. And now these same folks
swear that, if Israel gives them half of that pack of matches, everyone
will be pals Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what about the
string of wars to obliterate the tiny country and the constant din of
rabid blood oaths to drive every Jew into the sea?Oh, that? We were
just kidding.
My friend Kevin Rooney made a gorgeous point the other day: Just
reverse the numbers. Imagine 500 million Jews and 5 million Arabs. I
was stunned at the simple brilliance of it. Can anyone picture the
Jews strapping belts of razor blades and dynamite to themselves? Of
course not. Or marshaling every fiber and force at their disposal for
generations to drive a tiny Arab State into the sea? Nonsense. Or
dancing for joy at the murder of innocents? Impossible. Or spreading
and believing horrible lies about the Arabs baking their bread with
the blood of children? Disgusting. No, as you know, left to themselves
in a world of peace, the worst Jews would ever do to people is debate
them to death.
Mr. Bush, God bless him, is walking a tightrope I understand that,
with vital operations in Iraq and others, it's in our interest, as
Americans, to try to stabilize our Arab allies as much as possible,
and, after all, that can't be much harder than stabilizing a roomful of
super models who've just had their drugs taken away. However, in any
big-picture strategy, there's always a danger of losing moral weight.
We've already lost some. After September 11th, our president told us
and the world he was going to root out all terrorists and the countries
that supported them. Beautiful. Then the Israelis, after months and
months of having the equivalent of an Oklahoma City every week (and
then every day), start to do the same thing we did, and we tell them
to show restraint. If America were being attacked with an Oklahoma
City every day, we would all very shortly be screaming for the
administration to just be done with it and kill everything south of
the Mediterranean and east of the Jordan.
Please feel free to pass this along to your friends. Walk in peace! Be
happy! Have a wonderful life."=