Broken lawnmower

[RitcheyRch]

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept
hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always
had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car,
fishing, always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I
arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily
snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.
I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her
a toothbrush. "When you finish cutting the grass," I said,
"you might as well sweep the sidewalk."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

[Mandelon]

MARRIAGE
> >
> >
> > A man and a woman who had never met before, but were both married to
other
> > > people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a
> > > transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over
> > > sharing
> > > a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly...he in the
> > > upper
> > > bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 A.M., the man leaned over and
gently
> > > woke
> > > the woman saying,"Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be
> > > willing
> > > to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket, I'm awfully cold"
> > >
> > >
> > > "I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend
we
> > > 're
> > > married."
> > >
> > >
> > > "Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.
> > >
> > >
> > > "Good," she replied. "Get your own ****ing blanket."
> > >
> > >
> > > After a moment of silence, he farted