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View Full Version : I finally finished writing my book on Golf



spectratoad
01-19-2006, 01:31 PM
I believe it gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have learned over the years. The cost is only $29.95. Cash only please!
The following chapter listing is presented to give you a quick overview:
Table of Contents:
Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt
Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Nike from the Rough When You Hit a Titleist from
the Tee
Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker
Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance Off the Shank
Chapter 5 - When to Give the Ranger the Finger
Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings
Chapter 7 - When to Implement Handicap Management
Chapter 8 - Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9am
Chapter 9 - How to Rationalize a 6 Hour Round
Chapter 10 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water
Chapter 11 - Why Your Spouse Doesn't Care That You Birdied the 5th
Chapter 12 - How to Let a Foursome Play Through Your Twosome
Chapter 13 - How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three Off the Tee
Chapter 14 - When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent
Chapter 15 - God and the Meaning of the Birdie-to-Bogey Three Putt
Chapter 16 - When to Regrip Your Ball Retriever
Chapter 17 - Can You Purchase a Better Golf Game!
Chapter 18 - Why Male Golfers Will Pay $5.00 a Beer From The Cart Girl and
Give Her a $3 Tip, But Will Balk at $3.50 at the19th Hole and Stiff the bartender.
:)

FMluvswater
01-19-2006, 02:13 PM
I don't golf, spectratoad but some of those titles made me giggle! Sounds like you wrote a good help book that won't be a boring dry read. Congratulations! :cool:

havaduner
01-19-2006, 03:00 PM
Hey SpectraToad, I need to improve my game a bit, but short on cash. Can you send me the book and I'll pay for it with my winnings from the course?

spectratoad
01-19-2006, 04:27 PM
Is it the SWB's 14 Iron endorsment? I am sure from what I hear SWB just yells at the ball and he doesn't even have to get a club out to get it into the hole. :)

Ziggy
01-19-2006, 04:39 PM
Is it the SWB's 14 Iron endorsment? I am sure from what I hear SWB just yells at the ball and he doesn't even have to get a club out to get it into the hole. :)
He yells at his balls?????????
.
.
ST, ......using 5 wood on 100yd par 3's could be entertaining

spectratoad
01-19-2006, 05:15 PM
I try to use my pitching wedge on anything less than 200.

Ziggy
01-19-2006, 05:43 PM
I try to use my pitching wedge on anything less than 200.
LOL--its an honest 135 or less to the middle for me...:D
The 5wood deal is fun to watch when then next box is right behind the green.. :p :p

callbob4homes
01-19-2006, 05:54 PM
don't know why everyone is making fun of the book, there could be some valuble info there. except for one.................why do you need to make an excuse for drinking beer before 9am? Isn't that a requirement?

Rock-A-Bye-Baby
01-19-2006, 06:22 PM
Would you mind if i was so bold as to write the forward for your book? I will title it:
How to hit your second shot first.

callbob4homes
01-19-2006, 06:44 PM
coupla more chapters come to mind.......................
foot wedge vs. pitching wedge
to rake or not to rake from the 3rd fairway over
broken glass............is it really your fault? sub chapter on parking lot vs homes
is the tip to the cart girl comensurate to her breast size?
naked hot female caddies,......myth or fact and should they be standard equipment at all courses you play regular at? (no brainer)
golf cart damage.............is it your fault the water hazard was not clearly marked?

chub
01-19-2006, 06:52 PM
I'm playing Meadowlark Sunday, I need a copy ASAP! :p
CHUB...you got some splainin to do!

spectratoad
01-20-2006, 09:32 AM
Would you mind if i was so bold as to write the forward for your book? I will title it:
How to hit your second shot first.
I so agree with that. Go for it. :) :) There have been a few times of standing at the tee with my shorts at my ankles since I didn't make it past the women's tee. :220v: :mad:

havaduner
01-20-2006, 10:16 AM
A follow up to the first book could be golf cart performance driving tips:
How to do 360's on wet slopes,
How to properly enter a sand trap for maximum speed on exit.
Steer right to turn left (call snakewrench for help with this chapter)
How to avoid roll overs in the parking lot
etc.....

MikeF
01-20-2006, 10:21 AM
k.i.s.s.
Hit it, go get it. :)