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ROZ
11-21-2006, 01:32 AM
dealing with the death of a parent?

JetBoatRich
11-21-2006, 04:21 AM
ROZ you did not say the particulars, if it was in your family sorry to hear about your loss
Take your time, look back on all the happy times together.

centerhill condor
11-21-2006, 04:31 AM
pray...pray for strength, forgiveness, and salvation.
Your parents live on in you; your actions, words, and intent for your fellow man.
give thanks.

FREIND OF AA AND TA
11-21-2006, 06:13 AM
Bro I am so sorry! I can't imagine how it feels to loose a parent yet but If I were you I would hang with as many friends and family as possible. Celebrate the great times you had.

Garrddogg
11-21-2006, 06:37 AM
Roz Im sorry to hear of your loss, and as far as dealing with it not much makes it any better. Just remember all the good times. and its going to be rough,keep your chin up and hope you not going through it alone.
Gary

Devil's Advocate
11-21-2006, 06:41 AM
Praying and time....Sometimes talking with family and friends about memories and good times. And let yourself grieve, don't push it away or keep it in. My dad was estranged from the family when he passed. So I didn't get to see him or say anything to him before he died. I wrote a letter after he passed, as if I was writing it to him, to tell him how I felt. It helped.
So sorry, condolances. It will get easier.

Tremor Therapy
11-21-2006, 07:02 AM
Chris.....unfortunately I have been there. The death of a parent is a personal thing for each of us, we mourn in our own way, and we each suffer in our own personal manner. All I can do is tell you to remember what was special about them. The pain will subside with time, but never truely go away. I'll pray for you, and I hope that your sole finds peace.

DILLIGAF
11-21-2006, 07:08 AM
Sorry to hear that Chris. When a parent passes the entire family structure will natrually change. For me it was my father and he was the one who could keep everything together and weed out the BS when bickering, etc. It has taken a lot of hard work to keep the family together but things are back together again. It takes time and different family members deal with it better than others.
hang in there...

Jordy
11-21-2006, 07:29 AM
Wow Roz, that's terrible news. :( :( :(
Hang in there bud.

Kachina26
11-21-2006, 07:33 AM
I've lost both parents, once as a teen and once as an adult. I only wish I had words of wisdom to give you. The pain does go away over time, take time to grieve, but don't forget to live.

al cole'holic
11-21-2006, 07:34 AM
..sorry to hear man, hopefully you find some sanity by being the strength and support for the rest of the family.

lucky
11-21-2006, 07:35 AM
ahh man - I'm sry -- I say get drunk , look at pics , and cry alot - - will be thinking about you man !

Magic34
11-21-2006, 07:39 AM
Sorry to hear that Chris. I'm adding you to my prayers. We wish you the best in this hard time.

Havasu_Dreamin
11-21-2006, 07:41 AM
I'm very sorry to hear this Chris. Having dealt with it myself at a young age as well, my mom passed a month before my 30th birthday, I still do not have the words to help you. It seems that everyone wants to say something, and it is appreciated, but it is never enough, you know? All you want is your parent back. They've been there for you all of your life and now they are gone and it's just not fair. People say it gets better, but it doesn't, the only way I can describe it is that it gets different as your life is forever changed now. Some of this may sound harsh, but that is just it has been since my mom passed. Hang in there, remember the good times, and if you ever need to talk, send me a PM and we'll get on the phone. I've been there and it sucks.....

lawbreaker2
11-21-2006, 07:43 AM
Sorry to here about this, I almost know what your talking about, My mom just had a heart attack a few weeks ago, And seein her on that bed realy hurt and made me stop and look at life alot diffrent now. :cry: she is better now but the whole time they were working on her, she kept telling us how much she love us all, And I was balling my eyes out, I know it will be hard. :frown:

Badger301
11-21-2006, 08:25 AM
Roz
I'm sorry to hear of your loss...I lost my father in June do to lung cancer and it was ...no still is hard. I think of him everyday. Sometimes theres guilt and sometimes theres happiness. I guess I've run through all the emotions. The best thing that I found was talk to people. Not just your family but friends as well. Lots of folks have been through what your going through right now and though no one can tell you how to get through it, it did comfort me when I trully realized that others have experienced the same exact feelings I was dealing with. It will take time and although the feeling will never go away you will eventually learn to deal with it.
My thoughts and prayers go out for you and your family during this most trying time.
Robert

Jyruiz
11-21-2006, 08:35 AM
Sorry for you loss Roz, I don't have any suggestions as I have not loss a parent, but I know it's got to be devastating. My prayers go out to you bro.

TRUMP TIGHT
11-21-2006, 08:42 AM
:idea:
I got nothin. :(

PHX ATC
11-21-2006, 08:48 AM
Time. It just takes time.
Godspeed.

Windy
11-21-2006, 08:51 AM
Im so sorry Roz. :frown:

TOBTEK
11-21-2006, 08:58 AM
oh man Chris, im so sorry. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your family. If you need a babysitter we are close. If you need to have a few beers over at zips, even closer..... Leisa and I are here for ya buddy!!!

BarryMac
11-21-2006, 09:17 AM
oh man Chris, im so sorry. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your family. If you need a babysitter we are close. If you need to have a few beers over at zips, even closer..... Leisa and I are here for ya buddy!!!
Ditto to what Toby said Chris, if you need anything just let me know...

Keith E. Sayre
11-21-2006, 09:25 AM
lost my mom 15 years ago, cancer etc. she was the
real strength in our home and a very good mother. found
myself grabbing for the phone every time I got a raise or
was going on vacation or the kids did something cool for
probably a year or more. no inside advice, sorry. it does
get easier. although it sounds like I'm oversimplifying,
I found comfort reminding myself that she is not in the hole in the ground, only her dead body was. I know that
my mom was welcomed by her friends and relatives that
went ahead of her and so is your parent. I'm certainly not
trying to tell anyone how to do this either but I did also
wonder sometimes how hard she may be laughing if she can know what is going on in my life or not going on that she or wouldn't have raised an eyebrow about if she were here. I also took comfort understanding that I miss her
and I'm sad and she misses us but she is not unhappy that she is where she is. I also wonder if maybe your
parent is telling all their former friends and parents about
those still here such as yourself. Maybe telling grandma
about the time that you fell for some girl in college that
took you for a financial ride or that stole all your money out of your bank or whatever. Sure sorry for your loss.
there is really nothing anyone can say or do, you will simply
come to terms with it when you're ready. it is comforting to know that all the normal bs around here goes away at
times like this and you can feel a great deal of love here.
I truly believe that you'll see that parent again.
Keith Sayre

whoya
11-21-2006, 09:33 AM
I say talk to Havasu Dreamin, it helps to talk to someone who has been there and he seems to have all the feelings down to a T.
Pray and Thank God for allowing you to have them as long as you did.
It's one of the hardest things I ever went though and I still think of them everyday(and cry sometimes even still). My thoughts and prays are with you and your family. Whoya

a catered life
11-21-2006, 09:34 AM
pray...pray for strength, forgiveness, and salvation.
Your parents live on in you; your actions, words, and intent for your fellow man.
give thanks.
well said :boxed:

topless
11-21-2006, 09:36 AM
Just reading all teh responses makes me cry. I haven't yet lost a parent but I'm sure the time will come. Sorry for your loss and like everyone said, remember the good times, remember getting in trouble and laugh. Loss is never easy but you do have friends to help you through the hardest part. Prayers to you and your family.
Alison

syke-o
11-21-2006, 09:38 AM
sorry for your loss.. my wife went through it about 5 years ago and there was nothing i could really do for her but listen and offer her a shoulder to cry on... she had to deal with it in her own way, and she said the pain never really goes away, it just eases over time.. she said it helps to talk to other who have lost there parents as they have been through the same emotional roller coaster... again sorry for your loss..

TrojanDan
11-21-2006, 10:41 AM
Hey Chris. Sorry to hear the news. If in fact it was one of your parents, I know how often you spoke of them. Godbless them and you and your daughter.
Take Care,
Dan

Nord
11-21-2006, 12:18 PM
Sorry to hear this :(
I think about this every day. I still have both of my parents, but I'm very afraid of losing them. I think like everything else, it will probably take time.

riverbound
11-21-2006, 12:26 PM
Sorry to hear this. I wouldnt even know how to deal with this if I lost either of my parents :(
When my wife and I were together, she lost her father and it was a VERY tough time. Everyone deals with it in their own way.

ROZ
11-21-2006, 10:09 PM
Thanks guys. I'm interested in seeing how others have coped with the loss of a parent.
My dad died yesterday. With all the arrangements we need to make, it seems like we won't be able to come to grips with what has happened until the services are over. We do have our moments, though.
We have a super tight family and it has been a mix of emotions over here...
Thanks
My brother and I went through his call logs trying to see what times he was on the phone to help us determine what time he died... His last call was an upbeat one telling me my mom would be over to pick my daughter up in 10 minutes... I was the last person to speak to him... A little while after that call I went off to work. My parents live around the corner from me. When I drove to the intersection and saw my dads car, I almost drove over to say hi... I wish I had. I may have been able to do something in his time of need... :cry:

SHOTKALLIN
11-21-2006, 10:12 PM
sorry for your loss Chris. Family is the only way to make through these times.

JB in so cal
11-21-2006, 10:13 PM
be strong for your family. I'll be thinking of you and yours on this holiday. Be thankful for what you shared and keep those memories close.

Biglue
11-21-2006, 10:28 PM
Thanks guys. I'm interested in seeing how others have coped with the loss of a parent.
My dad died yesterday. With all the arrangements we need to make, it seems like we won't be able to come to grips with what has happened until the services are over. We do have our moments, though.
We have a super tight family and it has been a mix of emotions over here...
Thanks
I'm sorry to hear about your father passing away. We lost moms a few years ago and it's definitely some hard times ahead man. Unfortunately there isn't going to be much anyone can say that will ease your pain for a iittle while. Socializing and keeping company will help when you're ready for it. I was the one that made all of mom's arrangements and it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. You can't help but think to ask them if they would approve of their decisions. All I can tell you is that it does get better as time goes by. One thing that helped cope with her actual passing was an aunt telling me not to be so sad. She told me that my mother would not be leaving this world happily seeing us in so much grief. I don't know how much you follow your faith but I hope that helps you. Be prepared for the services Roz, that was hard for me. But I can honestly tell you that you can actually breath a little easier once they are over. Best of luck to you and your family. God Bless.

C-2
11-21-2006, 10:52 PM
Man, sorry to hear that Chris.
I lost my father to a car accident when I was a teenager, and later my childhood best friend at the age of 30.
Day-to-day is about the only way to get thru. For me, I always, ALWAYS remind myself how lucky I am to have shared so many memories with them, and without fail, it brings a smile to my face. I also had an epiphany of sorts, and finally understood the true wisdom, logic and meaning for a “Celebration of Life.”
Godspeed to your father and I wish you and your family the best in your Celebration of his life.

riverroyal
11-22-2006, 07:57 PM
chris call if you need anything,if you get buried at work and need a hand let me know if that helps.Your post was vague but if you lost a parent work is the last thing you should worry about.Steve

boatnam2
11-22-2006, 08:18 PM
man tough sorry for you lost,tina lost her neice last night to cancer 27 years old.she left 2 little boys 7 and 8 life is rough sometimes.

riverroyal
11-25-2006, 09:06 AM
its saturday morning,I just finished reading about your dad in the paper,great article,even better man.Are thoughts are with you.Again,if you need anything you know where we are.We are having dinner and beer tonight with JB if you want to stop by,you know where we live.Also if you need a change of mind set next week we can go send Toby and ziggy into the wall at the cart track!

hoolign
11-25-2006, 09:12 AM
dealing with the death of a parent?
Sorry dude! ......time and memories..
Once again...sorry to hear!

racecar.hotshoe
11-25-2006, 09:19 AM
Our thought's and prayers are with you and your family.I to lost my mom and it was hard.Time will help heal the pain. Thought's of happy times with your dad will ease the heartbreak as well.Mark

IMPATIENT 1
11-25-2006, 09:21 AM
sorry to hear about your loss. its never easy to lose a parent. my dad passed in 1995, i was devistated for months. he decided to move home to okla. from chicago after he got a alot of $$$$ from a back injury lawsuit he won. his then girlfriend wasn't in his plan anymore for the future, he told her he was movin back, she got a gun and used it. natural causes would have been so much easier to deal with, but all i felt was pain and anger, still do, he was the best man i've ever known.everytime my kids do something that swells me with pride, there's a piece missin since my dad never had the chance to meet his grandchildren, he'd been a great pops to my kids.
like everyone says, remember the good times, that's how ya keep em alive.my twin boys are 7, my daughter is 10, and they know my dad, even though they never had the pleasure of meetin him. all we can do in life is live right, work hard, raise our children to be the best they can and hope when we die, someone remembers us and always refer to us as a "good man".

SummitKarl
11-25-2006, 09:30 AM
Chris I am so sorry to here this, I know how tough it is to loose a parent, I have lost both of mine to cancer, this is not a easy time at all, when I lost my Mom she was ready to go, I held her hand told all was forgiven and everything was just lessons she needed to teach me, and with a sigh she passed on right then and there. that moment some how has stood out in my mind, in that it's remembering the lessons your parents have taught you so they are there still there with you and for you everyday :)

Debbolas
11-25-2006, 09:40 AM
I am so sorry for your loss...The death of a parent is very difficult. Each person deals with death in their own way. Some people get angry, some get withdrawn, some just get sad. Trust your emotions and be there for your family.
We lost Matt's dad 3 years ago about two months after our neice died. That was a really tough time.
People always bring food, but if you really want to help out, just show up at the house and help out however you can. Do laundry, dishes, just be there for them.
Matt's mom died last year just before mothers day. That was so difficult, she was a great person and we still miss her.
Matt was very angry for about a year, and lately he has begun to mellow out a bit and come out of it. I think something like this changes you forever.
Funeral directors are usually good at letting you know what needs to be done. Think about something special about your dad, if you dont' want to get up at the funneral and read it, the pastor can do it for you. We brought pictures of Matts mom and arranged them at the service and then at the house for the wake. The funeral is for you and your family to let out all of your emotions and be sad. Don't be strong, don't hold anything in, this is the time to let it all out.
If there is anything I can do, please PM me, sadly I've had plenty of experience with funerals and death.
Oh, one more thing, family members might act strangely at this time. Dont take it personally, sometimes people will act unlike themselves, they don't mean anything by it, they are just trying to cope.
Take Care.....Deb

riverroyal
11-25-2006, 01:51 PM
I am so sorry for your loss...The death of a parent is very difficult. Each person deals with death in their own way. Some people get angry, some get withdrawn, some just get sad. Trust your emotions and be there for your family.
We lost Matt's dad 3 years ago about two months after our neice died. That was a really tough time.
People always bring food, but if you really want to help out, just show up at the house and help out however you can. Do laundry, dishes, just be there for them.
Matt's mom died last year just before mothers day. That was so difficult, she was a great person and we still miss her.
Matt was very angry for about a year, and lately he has begun to mellow out a bit and come out of it. I think something like this changes you forever.
Funeral directors are usually good at letting you know what needs to be done. Think about something special about your dad, if you dont' want to get up at the funneral and read it, the pastor can do it for you. We brought pictures of Matts mom and arranged them at the service and then at the house for the wake. The funeral is for you and your family to let out all of your emotions and be sad. Don't be strong, don't hold anything in, this is the time to let it all out.
If there is anything I can do, please PM me, sadly I've had plenty of experience with funerals and death.
Oh, one more thing, family members might act strangely at this time. Dont take it personally, sometimes people will act unlike themselves, they don't mean anything by it, they are just trying to cope.
Take Care.....Deb
relatives can get ugly around this stuff.The paper said services are monday.Chris's dad was very influencial(sp) in the city of san marcos,I had no idea and I live in san marcos!