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View Full Version : Tom Brown temp needed..



hoolign
11-27-2006, 07:54 PM
The position of HB jester is open and applications are being accepted. Applikunts must have knowledge in bowel movements and nutritianal knowledge to induce instantainious bowel movements. Any male in possesion of a mangina will be sky rockets out the in door. Fecal understanding is a must! Applikunts must be able to instantainiously respond to any post with reference to anal sex or the likes of.. Assmasters will be considered if references can be provided! Anyone applying must be able to quote scripture in unappropriate ways on command! ..Send your resume in confidence to myself or JBB Via PM!
spelling is optional!
Thanks in advance..
:p

dragboat
11-27-2006, 07:56 PM
Some big shoes to fill!

hoolign
11-27-2006, 07:57 PM
Some big shoes to fill!
Size 11 If i recall! :p

Kachina26
11-27-2006, 08:04 PM
Size 11 If i recall! :pHey, I'm a size 11! Not to mention I can quote some mean scripture. I can provide references as to my fecal abilities, but I think my bunghole can speak for itself. For your consideration (http://www.farts.com/discussions/UpLoads/1076150945.wav)

Devil's Advocate
11-27-2006, 08:06 PM
So what you're saying is need a bunch of azzholes to apply. :D

hoolign
11-27-2006, 08:08 PM
So what you're saying is need a bunch of azzholes to apply. :D
Shouldnt be hard to fill that bill in here :p present cumpany excluded :p

hoolign
11-27-2006, 08:09 PM
Hey, I'm a size 11! Not to mention I can quote some mean scripture. I can provide references as to my fecal abilities, but I think my bunghole can speak for itself.
Favoritism aside..we still require a resume! :rollside:

hoolign
11-27-2006, 08:10 PM
Do you have any other openings? :p
We are currently looking for a pivot man? :rollside:

Jetaholic
11-27-2006, 08:10 PM
Food for thought...
All an aircraft carrier is is a big floating piece of poop with a bunch of flies around it...

Kachina26
11-27-2006, 08:11 PM
Favoritism aside..we still require a resume! :rollside:Please refer to my edit.

Chubby4Life
11-27-2006, 08:11 PM
Hooligan, can we make nominations??

Devil's Advocate
11-27-2006, 08:15 PM
Shouldnt be hard to fill that bill in here :p present cumpany included :p
Fixed your misspelling. :p

hoolign
11-27-2006, 08:16 PM
Please refer to my edit.
Not bad..not bad at all..a bit dry..but not bad! your on the list! congrats! :p

SummitKarl
11-27-2006, 08:16 PM
I don't know about being a expert, but I have been know to make the old American Standard wince on a flush or two :)
AND.....I recently discovered how to get Hooker Butt Sweat (HBS) out from under my finger nails :redface: :rollside:

hoolign
11-27-2006, 08:17 PM
Fixed your misspelling. :p
We may need some titty shots to sway your vote :p

hoolign
11-27-2006, 08:18 PM
I don't know about being a expert, but I have been know to make the old American Standard wince on a flush or two :)
AND.....I recently discovered how to get Hooker Butt Sweat (HBS) out from under my finger nails :redface: :rollside:
Now that's a plus..hooker butt sweat wasn't even on our check list! We have since added it! thanks for your help...next! :p

hoolign
11-27-2006, 08:20 PM
Hooligan, can we make nominations??
yes,,,yes you may! ..our standards are set fairly high so any help is appreciated! :)

HavasuSelect
11-27-2006, 08:20 PM
Hooligan, can we make nominations??
I was wondering the same thing.

Kachina26
11-27-2006, 08:21 PM
Not bad..not bad at all..a bit dry..but not bad! your on the list! congrats! :pI hope you noticed it is nice and tight, you don't want a gay TB! By the way, I'm sure you intended to say "you're on the list" :D I hope I didn't queer the deal by correcting your spelling eh.

Devil's Advocate
11-27-2006, 08:21 PM
We may need some titty shots to sway your vote :p
I will not be able to submit and application. I'm severely lacking in excrement knowledge. :notam:
Nice try for the titty shots. :p

Kachina26
11-27-2006, 08:24 PM
Now that's a plus..hooker butt sweat wasn't even on our check list! We have since added it! thanks for your help...next! :pHe's being untruthful, there are no hookers in havi. Not that I've looked.

hoolign
11-27-2006, 08:25 PM
I hope you noticed it is nice and tight, you don't want a gay TB! By the way, I'm sure you intended to say "you're on the list" :D I hope I didn't queer the deal by correcting your spelling eh.
Fagged it right out! :crossx:

hoolign
11-27-2006, 08:26 PM
I will not be able to submit and application. I'm severely lacking in excrement knowledge. :notam:
Nice try for the titty shots. :p
Just trying to give you a leg up :D

SummitKarl
11-27-2006, 08:29 PM
He's being untruthful, there are no hookers in havi. Not that I've looked.
so were you.... 11 is your inseam not your shoe size :p :)

moneypit
11-27-2006, 08:40 PM
Dude.... Major pre-req is the glastron. Aye?

hoolign
11-27-2006, 08:43 PM
Dude.... Major pre-req is the glastron. Aye?
Ney! owning a Glastron is not a pre requisite! . :p

hoolign
11-27-2006, 08:50 PM
Was he on salary or "piece" work?
Barter system! One smilie per post! :p

racecar.hotshoe
11-27-2006, 08:51 PM
Was he on salary or "piece" work?
Oh he was a piece alright.(Who are we talking about) :rolleyes:

Ziggy
11-27-2006, 08:55 PM
Bran lovers unite :rollside:
.
Together we can fuel the worlds heaters :p

racecar.hotshoe
11-27-2006, 09:22 PM
What kind of veiw does his office have? :rolleyes:
Its a round room with padding.. :220v:

hoolign
11-27-2006, 09:24 PM
What kind of veiw does his office have? :rolleyes:
For an applikunt..your sure asking alotta questions?? :p.. maybe you should be asking US ..what WE,want?? always with the me me me ... ..and for your information.. he looked directley into mine or JBB's office! :p

hoolign
11-27-2006, 09:25 PM
Its a round room with padding.. :220v:
up until he ate the padding for one of his "digestivetrack " posts! That man was always on a mission! Assertive! that's what we need! :p

racecar.hotshoe
11-27-2006, 09:29 PM
up until he ate the padding for one of his "digestivetrack " posts! That man was always on a mission! Assertive! that's what we need! :p
Would that be fiber or meat group. :idea: :p

hoolign
11-27-2006, 09:31 PM
Would that be fiber or meat group. :idea: :p
The jury is still out on that....Brown lacked clarity upon presentation ..but we let him run with it anyways! :crossx:

racecar.hotshoe
11-27-2006, 09:34 PM
The jury is still out on that....Brown lacked clarity upon presentation ..but we let him run with it anyways! :crossx:
"Employee of the month"
http://mud.mm-a6.yimg.com/image/2126624753
Tom Brown

hoolign
11-27-2006, 09:45 PM
Oh, so it's like that huh? Well, make no misconceptions, I have the skills! But I was hoping to find a position with a company that is over run with drama......a place where men with small penises spend small fortunes on $10,000 Rhiding mowers (with no blade) and then brag endlessly about how cool they are...... A place where someone can sink a boat and strangers send money to help....A place where multiple screen names are the norm.........A place where some rummy Canadian gets stoned and focks with people (especially newbies) But I guess that's just a pipe dream, because I'm sure a place like that could not exist. RIGHT? :crossx:
Your on the list! :p

hoolign
11-27-2006, 09:48 PM
I'm on a lot of lists :220v:
I didnt say which end of the list your on..but your on it none the less :D

Biglue
11-27-2006, 10:03 PM
What kind of veiw does his office have? :rolleyes:
It had a view of the toilet paper dispenser. :D

Jetaholic
11-27-2006, 10:10 PM
And this would be the company policy for this temp position correct? :D
Company Policy:
Effective from January 2007
Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
Management