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Riomouse911
01-14-2007, 07:42 PM
These are probably old, but on a freezing Sunday evening they might get a laugh or two....
Points to Ponder:
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in," but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up hungry, like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra " singular and "panties" plural?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

Jetaholic
01-14-2007, 07:52 PM
Why do cowboys have spurs on both feet, when if one side of the horse goes the other side's gonna follow?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
Why does cargo go by ship, and a shipment go by truck?
Why do we drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?

RitcheyRch
01-14-2007, 07:58 PM
Why are there interstates in Hawaii?

beaverretriever
01-14-2007, 08:03 PM
Those are great. :D

Jetaholic
01-14-2007, 09:16 PM
Why are there interstates in Hawaii?
For the new bridge from US to Hawaii they're planning! Here's the story on it:
God goes to a man in his mid 40s...the man has been a man of God all his life so God decides he's going to grant him 1 wish.
The man says "God...I wish for a bridge that runs from the US mainland to Hawaii."
God says "Well geez...that's gonna require LOTS of manhours, not to mention time, resources, etc etc not to mention gas stations on the bridge since it would be at least 3,000 miles long...can you wish for something a little more reasonable?"
The man says..."Alright...God, I wish to be able to understand women."
God replies "Did you want that bridge in 2 lanes or 4?" :D

RitcheyRch
01-15-2007, 02:44 AM
Thats hilarious.
For the new bridge from US to Hawaii they're planning! Here's the story on it:
God goes to a man in his mid 40s...the man has been a man of God all his life so God decides he's going to grant him 1 wish.
The man says "God...I wish for a bridge that runs from the US mainland to Hawaii."
God says "Well geez...that's gonna require LOTS of manhours, not to mention time, resources, etc etc not to mention gas stations on the bridge since it would be at least 3,000 miles long...can you wish for something a little more reasonable?"
The man says..."Alright...God, I wish to be able to understand women."
God replies "Did you want that bridge in 2 lanes or 4?" :D

uvindex
01-15-2007, 07:49 AM
Why are there interstates in Hawaii?Not trying to take the fun out of the thread, but this is actually a Hawaii FAQ. From www.hawaiihighways.com:
"Even though Hawaii is separated by thousands of miles of ocean from any other state, there is nothing unusual about having Interstates on Oahu. The "Interstate" system is really the National System of Interstate and Defense Highways, intended to serve military needs as well as civilian interstate traffic. And Oahu certainly has military needs in abundance. Be not deceived by the sensuously swaying hips of the wahine dancing for the sightseers! Behind the touristy facade, Oahu is a fortress island, bearing one of the heaviest concentrations of military forces on this planet.
In particular, the local Interstates help tie together the multitude of military bases scattered all over Oahu, with the huge Pearl Harbor naval complex and Hickam AFB connected by H-1 to a naval ammunition storage facility and a former naval air station to the west, and the Fort Ruger National Guard (former Army) base inside the Diamond Head crater to the east; by H-2, to the Schofield Barracks army base and Wheeler air field; and by H-3, to the Marine Corps base at Kaneohe Bay. Indeed, much of the early push for building H-3 was from the military, which had problems moving troops across Oahu as they were being transported to and from the war zone in Vietnam. (Of course, the war was over more than two decades by the time H-3 was completed. Bureaucracy, huh?)
The Interstate highway network on Oahu also meets the great and often overwhelming needs of local and tourist civilian traffic, as one would expect for a city and metropolitan area the size of Honolulu's (population of over 370,000 in the city proper, plus about another 500,000 on the rest of Oahu, not counting the multitude of tourists and other visitors there at any given time).
In any event, there is no requirement that "Interstate" routes cross state lines. Most 3-digit Interstate routes on the mainland are entirely in one state, as indeed are many 1- or 2-digit "mainline" Interstate routes (such as I-4 in Florida, I-12 and I-49 in Louisiana, and I-27, I-37, and I-45 in Texas).
The Interstate system was originally limited by law to the contiguous 48 states. In 1959, the year Congress authorized Hawaii's admission to statehood, it also removed the 48-state limitation on the Interstate system, and called for a study of whether Hawaii (and the other new state, Alaska) should get new Interstates. Hawaii (but not Alaska) got the nod the following year, and on August 29, 1960 Interstates H-1, H-2, and H-3 were approved for addition to the Interstate system. As discussed in the following item, three decades later Hawaii picked up a fourth Interstate (though until recently hardly anybody there knew it)."

RitcheyRch
01-15-2007, 08:15 AM
Didnt know that and thanks.
Not trying to take the fun out of the thread, but this is actually a Hawaii FAQ. From www.hawaiihighways.com:
"Even though Hawaii is separated by thousands of miles of ocean from any other state, there is nothing unusual about having Interstates on Oahu. The "Interstate" system is really the National System of Interstate and Defense Highways, intended to serve military needs as well as civilian interstate traffic. And Oahu certainly has military needs in abundance. Be not deceived by the sensuously swaying hips of the wahine dancing for the sightseers! Behind the touristy facade, Oahu is a fortress island, bearing one of the heaviest concentrations of military forces on this planet.
In particular, the local Interstates help tie together the multitude of military bases scattered all over Oahu, with the huge Pearl Harbor naval complex and Hickam AFB connected by H-1 to a naval ammunition storage facility and a former naval air station to the west, and the Fort Ruger National Guard (former Army) base inside the Diamond Head crater to the east; by H-2, to the Schofield Barracks army base and Wheeler air field; and by H-3, to the Marine Corps base at Kaneohe Bay. Indeed, much of the early push for building H-3 was from the military, which had problems moving troops across Oahu as they were being transported to and from the war zone in Vietnam. (Of course, the war was over more than two decades by the time H-3 was completed. Bureaucracy, huh?)
The Interstate highway network on Oahu also meets the great and often overwhelming needs of local and tourist civilian traffic, as one would expect for a city and metropolitan area the size of Honolulu's (population of over 370,000 in the city proper, plus about another 500,000 on the rest of Oahu, not counting the multitude of tourists and other visitors there at any given time).
In any event, there is no requirement that "Interstate" routes cross state lines. Most 3-digit Interstate routes on the mainland are entirely in one state, as indeed are many 1- or 2-digit "mainline" Interstate routes (such as I-4 in Florida, I-12 and I-49 in Louisiana, and I-27, I-37, and I-45 in Texas).
The Interstate system was originally limited by law to the contiguous 48 states. In 1959, the year Congress authorized Hawaii's admission to statehood, it also removed the 48-state limitation on the Interstate system, and called for a study of whether Hawaii (and the other new state, Alaska) should get new Interstates. Hawaii (but not Alaska) got the nod the following year, and on August 29, 1960 Interstates H-1, H-2, and H-3 were approved for addition to the Interstate system. As discussed in the following item, three decades later Hawaii picked up a fourth Interstate (though until recently hardly anybody there knew it)."

Debbolas
01-15-2007, 09:16 AM
I like this thread :D Almost as good as the thread with all the movie "mistakes":D

Scream
01-15-2007, 10:37 AM
Thanks Riomouse, It was good to meet you the other night at Twins, as well as 2nd Place. Remember to stop by when you're in the hood.
Scream