At the launch ramp...

[Jbb]

Old Sparky (aka A Grinder): This guy is easy to spot. The dead giveaways are the loud, gut-wrenching scraping sounds, and the sparks that fly off the outdrive as it's dragged down and then up the ramp.
The Fiddler: Usually the cause of severe "ramp rage," a Fiddler amazingly decides that the middle of the ramp is the ideal place to perform various preparatory tasks. An interesting characteristic of the Fiddler is that he seems to be completely oblivious to the incessant honking and shouting of less than friendly suggestions by the growing number of impatient "ragees."
Ramp Pig: Although a boat ramp can usually accommodate two launchings simultaneously -- one on each side of the ramp -- the Ramp Pig goes right down the middle thus hogging the entire ramp.
A Slalom: This person is "trailer challenged," and his gratuitous and exaggerated weaving from side to side usually draws quite a crowd as he descends the ramp. When a slalom is in progress, make special note of the Slalom's wife who has been assigned the bow line and is now being dragged violently from right to left.
The Hooker: This is fun to watch as the frustration on the face of The Hooker intensifies as he increases power to the engine and still can't get the boat off the trailer. His frustration turns to embarrassment as he pulls the boat out only to find that he hasn't removed the rear tie-downs.
The Banger (aka The Trailer Trasher): A fan favorite, The Banger's trailer features scars from every dock in the county. Telltale signs that a Banger has entered the ramp are the broken tail lights and the fact that every reflector, all the pin stripping and much of the paint has been scraped clean.
The Recycler: More a cause of mirth than rage, The Recycler is quickly identified by the use of an empty one-liter Mountain Dew bottle as a bumper. You're also likely to see other items used to protect the Recycler's boat, such as the kid's old water wings, a mildewed life jacket, and just about anything other than the standard rubber marine fenders.
The Rooster: If you're too close to a Rooster and don't spot him in time, you're likely to get wet. This is the guy who leaves the marina with the outdrive all the way up, thus drenching everyone in his wake. Often times a Rooster is a panicked and anxious Old Sparky who, after grinding the outdrive halfway down the ramp, has forgotten to let it down once he's launched.
The Poser: The Poser stands at the end of the dock while the boy from the yacht club launches his Cobalt for him. Striking a jaunty pose in his freshly pressed nautical-themed shirt and captain's hat, the Poser is easily spotted and fair game for ridicule. The Poser is often a lighting rod for "ramp rage" as he typically parks his small German "self-esteem mobile" in the trailer-only parking.
Submariner: A Submariner gets a sinking feeling when his first realization that the drain plug may not be in the boat is when he opens the engine compartment and finds the motor nearly submerged.
While there are many unique and wonderful "slip-ups" at the ramp each spring, there is one common denominator among them all. Whether the outdrive is shootin' sparks, the trailer is bouncing off pylons, or the boat is taking on water -- despite any conclusions you, as a spectator, may have drawn -- amazingly the cause is always the same. THE WIFE SCREWED UP!
"Ramp rage" is expressed in many ways and has been cited as a cause of more than one divorce. On the common, more mundane end of the "rage spectrum" is the single-finger salute, while disparaging remarks about one's mother are much more exciting and tend to quickly escalate a "rage" incident. Properly planned, a day at the ramp can be fun for the whole family.
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[sangervdrive]

I love how these simple things apply to nearly every ramp in the whole country, nationwide we are united by people doing funny sh-it at the ramp.

[909punk]

i'm sure i'll fall into a couple of those.

[Run_em_Hard]

Ahhhh...good times

[Wild Horses]

despite any conclusions you, as a spectator, may have drawn -- amazingly the cause is always the same. THE WIFE SCREWED UP!
I am going to need somebody else to blame, since I got rid of the wife!:D

[HocusPocus]

i should print those and pass'em out to the spectators the next time im at site six at on a saturday afternoon. it could be the official program :D

[TAF]

i should print those and pass'em out to the spectators the next time im at site six at on a saturday afternoon. it could be the official program :D
Each spectator gets a tally score card for observations and then a stack of 1-10 plates so every one can hold up :sqeyes: a score of how good (bad) an error rates.:jawdrop: :idea: :D :D

[Dave C]

the picture of all those people sitting in chairs next to that main launch ramp (site six?) at Havasu taking it all in always makes me laugh.

[Dave C]

they forgot a few. (please help with names)
1) the guy can't get his boat on the trailer and keeps backing up and starting over then eventually gives up and guns it and ends up sideways on the trailer. sometimes this is brought on by sideline hecklers or just being a rookie.
2) the guy that goes full speed down the launch ramp then floors it after launching the boat and sprays rocks all down the front of the boat.
3) drunk recovery... couldn't get it on the trailer if his life depended on it. something is bound to end up damaged.
4) wind and current challenged - same as #1
5) the guy that insists on working on his boat while it is on the trailer backed into the water. same as ramp hog.

[SummitKarl]

they forgot a few. (please help with names)
1) the guy can't get his boat on the trailer and keeps backing up and starting over then eventually gives up and guns it and ends up sideways on the trailer. sometimes this is brought on by sideline hecklers or just being a rookie.
2) the guy that goes full speed down the launch ramp then floors it after launching the boat and sprays rocks all down the front of the boat.
3) drunk recovery... couldn't get it on the trailer if his life depended on it. something is bound to end up damaged.
4) wind and current challenged - same as #1
5) The Renter
The Renter can be easily identified, by the grossly over sized green bumpers dragging in the water while underway.
The Renter has no clue as to what a no wake zone is or means and can be found roughly 50 ft past boat owners yelling at him to slow down
The Renter thinks that the "Milling area" and the "Loading area" are one in the same and is completely oblivious to the trouble he his causing as he sits right in the middle of it waiting 20 minutes or more for the boat rental company to come pick him up:notam:

[Rattle Can Lou]

The cooler carriers. These are the people that launch the boat and directly tie to the dock. Then they wait for the kids and wife then the dog with all the coolers, wakeboards, towels, food and various other sundries. It would be nice if they would load the stuff in the boat in the parking lot and launch and leave.

[AirtimeLavey]

Entertaining for sure, and sometimes aggravating. Just happy when I'm not the one providing the entertainment, like one time at Site 6. Hate to see people trash their stuff and/or others. Always like the guys that punchs it to straighten it out. I find it best to back away until they're done.

[dumbandyoung]

The cooler carriers. These are the people that launch the boat and directly tie to the dock. Then they wait for the kids and wife then the dog with all the coolers, wakeboards, towels, food and various other sundries. It would be nice if they would load the stuff in the boat in the parking lot and launch and leave.
LMAO
wow what a concept:D

[Debbolas]

Katherines Landing should just remove the "dock" that sits in the middle of their ramp. And their ramp "bunnies" they hire for holidays, it would be nice if they knew ANYTHING about boats, launching, driving, breathing......:mad:
We have come in from the lake and I couldn't get off our boat at the "dock" (to go get the truck) there was NO PLACE for me to go, about a zillion people were sitting there, hangingout WITH JETSKIS:( :mad:

[dumbandyoung]

Katherines Landing should just remove the "dock" that sits in the middle of their ramp. And their ramp "bunnies" they hire for holidays, it would be nice if they knew ANYTHING about boats, launching, driving, breathing......:mad:
We have come in from the lake and I couldn't get off our boat at the "dock" (to go get the truck) there was NO PLACE for me to go, about a zillion people were sitting there, hangingout WITH JETSKIS:( :mad:
true that! One time I had the truck sitting at the ramp and couldnt get through because of all the seadoos cruising around infront of me. I ended up yelling at some guy and his girlfriend in not kind words. I saw them in the parking lot after, I felt bad after and apologized to them.

[Debbolas]

true that! One time I had the truck sitting at the ramp and couldnt get through because of all the seadoos cruising around infront of me. I ended up yelling at some guy and his girlfriend in not kind words. I saw them in the parking lot after, I felt bad after and apologized to them.
Yeah!! We have seen boats and sea doo's crusing back and forth across the lake right in front of the ramp....(not smart) :jawdrop:

[Rattle Can Lou]

Was on a lake here in Idaho. We are known for short notice storms. Not good in low profile boats. Anyway this hellacious strorm hit and all hell broke loose. Threw everything in the boat and headed for the ramp. Heavy white caps and winds. Everybody else had the same idea. Big dock area at the ramp and boats sitting out in the water everywhere. No one on the docks because they were filled with Chinese or Japanese fisherman. The only boat tied to the dock was the sheriff. There was nowhere to drop off a driver to go get the truck and trailer. I pull up and start a war with the fisherman....most couldn't speak english. When I got to the english four letter flyers they seem to get the message. They understood the MF's that happened to be flying. Sheriff just sat there and did nothing till I got outta the water. Then he came over to be a hero and proceeded to tell me that he thought I was out of line. I drug him back down to the dock and showed him the only sign in the whole area....it read "NO FISHING FROM DOCK".

[STV_Keith]

We have come in from the lake and I couldn't get off our boat at the "dock" (to go get the truck) there was NO PLACE for me to go, about a zillion people were sitting there, hangingout WITH JETSKIS:( :mad:
And here is EXACTLY the time that us two-stroke owners have the upper hand at the dock. The Jet Skiiers look at the smoke cloud coming and bone out. :D

[dumbandyoung]

Yeah!! We have seen boats and sea doo's crusing back and forth across the lake right in front of the ramp....(not smart) :jawdrop:
Its so retarded they do that. The cool thing about that marina is they have that center dock between the ramps where you can drop someone off to grab the truck then you have this big space to idle and kick it far back..outta everyones way who is launching or loading up. and from far back you have a great view of the truck line so you can see when its almost your turn...so you proceed to pull forward. ...but unfortunately it doesnt work that way. half the people are retarded and have to idle as close to the ramps as possible. ...and furthermore I hate seeing time lengthy one man shows... teach someone with you to back the trailer for u:mad:

[MR.rvrluvr]

had a guy one time try to put his boat on my freekin trailer. Kept telling him thats not yours but he was either to drunk or stupid to care. After my buddy In the truck explained to him that 1: it was not his trailer 2: it was not his truck and 3: he (my buddy) doesn't even know you so get the fook off our trailer.
What a DUMBASS

[Biglue]

And WTF is it with the folks that HAVE to idle right in front of the ramps waiting for their boat bitches? Jesus Christ, get the fock out of the way and idle back in when you see your party getting close to a dock you can pick them up at.

[Elkidminoltu]

The Spinner: Puts his boat on the trailer and then tries to pull it out on a wet ramp. He guns the motor profusely in hopes that the spinning rear tire(s) will eventually find some kind of traction and pull the boat out.
The Soccer Mom: Upon wrapping up a day of boating, he ties up and gets his vehicle. He backs up just fine, loads the boat and then proceeds to try and pull the boat out of the water. It never clicked in his mind that a FWD Chevy Venture Van would be a bad candidate for hauling a boat. He proceeds in a cloud of smoking tires and usually a couple people on the front bumper to pull his craft from the water. Related to the spinner.

[shueman]

And WTF is it with the folks that HAVE to idle right in front of the ramps waiting for their boat bitches? Jesus Christ, get the fock out of the way and idle back in when you see your party getting close to a dock you can pick them up at.
Indeed....Site Six prime example....:mad:

[wolfie]

A Slalom: This person is "trailer challenged," and his gratuitous and exaggerated weaving from side to side usually draws quite a crowd as he descends the ramp. When a slalom is in progress, make special note of the Slalom's wife who has been assigned the bow line and is now being dragged violently from right to left.
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This one discribes my wife's last (and her first) attempt at backing the empty trailer down.

[RitcheyRch]

Always atleast one or two of those at every launch ramp.
The cooler carriers. These are the people that launch the boat and directly tie to the dock. Then they wait for the kids and wife then the dog with all the coolers, wakeboards, towels, food and various other sundries. It would be nice if they would load the stuff in the boat in the parking lot and launch and leave.

[voodoomedman]

Always atleast one or two of those at every launch ramp.
The problem with the cooler carriers is that they cannot drive the boat well enough to be able to actually put it into a slip. They tie to the end of the dock where it is the perfect place for the drop and go and they stay there forever. It's always one person left there too holding the boat with a look on there face like they feel so dumb and just wish the cooler carrier would hurry up so they can get out of there.

[Schiada76]

Dock Blocker:
Ties his Bayliner up to the fuel dock unloads everyone in the boat, shops in the store then sits down at the Cafe to watch the line of boats form waiting to gas up.

[Debbolas]

Oh!
What do you call the boat/jet skier that cruises in the 5mile an hour zone at 15mph? Boaters are holding their hands up and yelling 5!, he/she just smiles and waves back:jawdrop:

[Zaairman]

Oh!
What do you call the boat/jet skier that cruises in the 5mile an hour zone at 15mph? Boaters are holding their hands up and yelling 5!, he/she just smiles and waves back:jawdrop:
A dumbass.

[dumbandyoung]

Dock Blocker:
Ties his Bayliner up to the fuel dock unloads everyone in the boat, shops in the store then sits down at the Cafe to watch the line of boats form waiting to gas up.
LMAO
a few more..
CUT IT CLOSE CAPTAIN- the guy trying to get through at Gasoline Alley or Copper Canyon having his kids navigate the way and almost hitting every other boat.
SHOW OFF- the dumb ass on the seadoo jumping wakes 30ft behind a boat with someone skiing or tubing behind it.
MR BRAKES- The guy who tries to back his trailer down the ramp and cant figure out why his brakes keep locking up.