soupersonic
01-31-2006, 03:31 PM
May be a repost but it got me laughing
If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma!
Next time
you have a bad day at work, think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in
Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is
an e-mail
he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM
in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, which was sponsoring a "worst job
experience" contest.
Needless to say, she won.
"Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last
week I had a
bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at
work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you
realize it's
not so bad after all.
"Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you
with a few
technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time
of year
the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We
have a diesel
powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment
sucks the
water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It
then pumps
it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the
air hose. Now
this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
with no
complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working,
is take the
hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole
suit with
warm water. It's like
working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden,
my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only
made things
worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled
t he hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I
realized what
had happened.
"The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into
my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
stick to it.
However, the crack of my butt was not as
fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
actually grinding
the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive
supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
"His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with
five other
divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted
the dive. I
was instructed to make three agonizing in-water
decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could
reach the
surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at
the
surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed
out of the
water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face,
handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon
as I got in
the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for
two days
because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad
day at
work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish
shoved up
your butt.
"Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my
job."
"And whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself: is this a
"jellyfish bad" day?"
If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma!
Next time
you have a bad day at work, think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in
Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is
an e-mail
he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM
in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, which was sponsoring a "worst job
experience" contest.
Needless to say, she won.
"Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last
week I had a
bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at
work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you
realize it's
not so bad after all.
"Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you
with a few
technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time
of year
the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We
have a diesel
powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment
sucks the
water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It
then pumps
it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the
air hose. Now
this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
with no
complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working,
is take the
hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole
suit with
warm water. It's like
working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden,
my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only
made things
worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled
t he hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I
realized what
had happened.
"The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into
my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
stick to it.
However, the crack of my butt was not as
fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
actually grinding
the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive
supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
"His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with
five other
divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted
the dive. I
was instructed to make three agonizing in-water
decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could
reach the
surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at
the
surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed
out of the
water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face,
handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon
as I got in
the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for
two days
because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad
day at
work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish
shoved up
your butt.
"Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my
job."
"And whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself: is this a
"jellyfish bad" day?"