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Strippoker
02-24-2007, 11:17 AM
This truly has to be the hardest post that I have ever had to write.
One of the best parts about the boating community is the bond we all have. There isnÂ’t a single person on here we wouldnÂ’t help in some way if we could no matter what the boat they drive. That is why IÂ’m turning to you my brothers and sisters for some help and advise. Trust me its not always easy for me to do this but after a night of no sleep IÂ’m at my break point.
So here is the story. For the last 5 months my daughters 10 and 11 have been planning for me to fly up to Norcal for parent teacher conference and the father daughter dance for girls scouts. I have plane tickets in hand and the girls both got new dresses from my wife. Yesterday morning I get a call from my 10 year old in tears at 7am that her mother (the wicked witch of the north) had failed to send in the info for the dance and cancelled the conference I had set up. So I called her and left a message on he machine nicely saying well I guess I will fly up and we can just have father daughter weekend seeing how we have joint open custody. Figured that would be no problem. Well all day passed and no return call until driving home from work and my 10 year old once again calls in tears. She called to tell me that if I show up in that town the Pd will be there waiting that was what her mom told her when she got home from school. My wife and I are currently getting ready to go for custody of the girls so a arrest record is not something I need to have at this time. So IÂ’m calling off the trip next week.
Here is were I need the help I have been told that due to our divorce was in Wyoming that the custody battle will take place in WY. However I will need a lawyer in both states Wyoming and one here in cali. My parents are for the most part kind of well to do in Wyoming so finding an attorney in that state is no problem I know of 2 that would love to bring the bitch down. So what I need to know is does anyone know a real cut throat lawyer down here in socal. That I wonÂ’t have to sell my soul to pay for the fees, however today that thought is possible. My wife and I are at our end we canÂ’t stand to see the girls stay in the crap that they are in now. One daughter with asthma living in a house with 2 smokers, the other on the verge of flunking all her classes due to a parent that doesnÂ’t care about school. Not a day goes by were I donÂ’t hate myself for not fighting harder during the divorce. But as a male its hard as shit to get a judge to see your side. So if you or anyone knows someone please let us know.
Thanks and sorry to dump my drama on you all but it times like this you find out who your friends really are.
Thanks
Jason & Sabrina
Mr & Mrs Strippoker

ratso
02-24-2007, 11:29 AM
All I can say is do your homework and be prepared. I got custody of my son around 16 or 17 years ago... Expensive but worth it.
My grandson has a total fukkin' psycho bitch for a mom, and I won't even go into details, but I am helping my son build a case against her now... It's sucks because you can't deal rationally with an irrational person. It makes me sick how much shit like this has cost me over the years...http://***boat.com/ubb/mad.gif

slink
02-24-2007, 11:30 AM
Why would the cops be waiting? is there any type of restraining order or something you are not mentioning? If not, you have every right to see your kids, just has much as she does. What do the current custody papers stat? Who has primary, do you have visitation? If you are not forbidden from seeing them, it might do you well to fly up there and attempt to follow through with your plans and let her shut you down. If that happens, have the local PD (they wont get involved in custody disputes) take a brief incident report documenting you were there, plus it looks good to your kids. It will also help when you end up back in court. Your daughters are old enough to give statements to the judge. As far as jurisdiction, since you both now reside in California, I think the CA courts would have the final say. They will probably review the WY orders, but the battle should only occur in CA. Good luck

RitcheyRch
02-24-2007, 11:33 AM
Good luck. I gained custody of my Daughter a few years ago. It was costly but one of the best things I ever did.

38687
02-24-2007, 11:36 AM
I know for a fact, it is illegal for your ex to keep you from seeing your children. If the P.D. is there waiting, they should be waiting on your side. Fock that bitch. Who does she think she is? And tell her to quit smoking in the got damn house when the girls are home! I dont even know her and I want to kick her ass already. Fight your ass off to get costody. theres nothing more special in life than your daughters.

YeLLowBoaT
02-24-2007, 11:49 AM
Make sure you document all of this for use latter. write down every phone call, when it happend and what was said... it will help you latter.
I would make phone calls to the school. Since at that young age it is vital that they are able to keep up with thier ed. If they refuse to talk to you( you never know what your ex has told them)... have your lawyer send them a letter stating what you exact legal rights are. If they don't learn the basics they will strugle latter on with school.

jbone
02-24-2007, 12:20 PM
I have no experience in this area at all, but I say go and make sure the girls know you are there. If you are unable to see them, make sure they know it is their mother's fault. If it were me, I'd take all the paperwork you have and call the pd first and ask if they can "keep the peace" during the pick up.
Let them know that your wife is threatening to keep the girls from you for no reason.
I'd take a recording device too. Make sure she or anyone being recorded is aware of it. Not sure of all the laws on recording.
Good luck,
J

Strippoker
02-24-2007, 12:40 PM
Why would the cops be waiting? is there any type of restraining order or something you are not mentioning? If not, you have every right to see your kids, just has much as she does. What do the current custody papers stat? Who has primary, do you have visitation? If you are not forbidden from seeing them, it might do you well to fly up there and attempt to follow through with your plans and let her shut you down. If that happens, have the local PD (they wont get involved in custody disputes) take a brief incident report documenting you were there, plus it looks good to your kids. It will also help when you end up back in court. Your daughters are old enough to give statements to the judge. As far as jurisdiction, since you both now reside in California, I think the CA courts would have the final say. They will probably review the WY orders, but the battle should only occur in CA. Good luck
We have joint custody with no restraining orders or stuff like that. Nothing in the papers says anyting about notice or stuff like that to come see them. She doesnt like that fact that my girls tell her all the time that they want to go stay at dads because she yells at them all the time and plays games with them. For example she had the frikin ass to show them the megans law site and tell the girls "look these are all the bad people in San Diego" Can you say nut job!
Im seeing the trend that the dad isnt always the bad guy. What advise do you dads that have done this have? I document everything the hard part is she is restricting the calls from my daughters seeing how I bought both cell phones. Second question is how much do we tip our cards that we are going to start the battle royal? The witch barely passed highschool and the rest of her family is the same. Were my side all comes from a college back ground I see this a major tool to use. The problem that I can see is she is running out of cards to play and Im along with my wife concerned she would dream up some kidnaping charge or worst just to have strike against us. All we feel is that the school along with her are failing these kids and it needs to end. The school has kept trying to say my oldest has a learning problem and that is why she fails but when we work with her she gets A's. The teachers they have are a joke they just get all ass bent when we tell them we think something isn't right. Years ago I know you had to really prove some serious stuff was going down to get the judge to go your way do you feel its still that way? Im aloing with my family ready to run the bitch into the ground by keeping the case going tell she cant pay the lawyer anymore. That is what happen when she tried to sue my parents to keep them from having grandparent vists. We kept it goiung tell her lawyer droped her for not paying.

Baja Big Dog
02-24-2007, 01:54 PM
Go.....Call the cops first, but as stated before they wont get involved with custody shit....no restraining order then go and she can kiss your asss...
Let her file a false report with the local PD....then take the kids:eek:

topless
02-24-2007, 04:16 PM
She can't stop you from seeing your kids period!!!! Just bring your court papers stating the stipulations of visitation and have the cops with you when you pick them up to keep the peace. Even if you don't bring them back at the time agreed, all she can do is call the cops and they will tell her it is a civil matter. Take her ass to court and she will lose because all family law courts want whats best for the children. Even if the cops are there waiting for you, what the hell are they going to do anyway? Arrest you for trying to be a good father????

Jetaholic
02-24-2007, 05:02 PM
If you have court ordered joint custody and the papers state nothing about advanced notice to see your children, she has no leg to stand on. Let her call the cops. They'll just laugh at her and she'll end up humiliating herself in front of your daughters.
By all means make the trip and go spend time with your kids.

photo chick
02-24-2007, 05:26 PM
I hate when I hear about women who act like this, what's up... The children should NEVER have a clue what is happening in your custody battle let alone the fact you're even in one.
I have the number of an excellent attorney in Westlake Village who handled my husband's custody battle when we went through it a few years ago.
PM me if you're interested in one in that area since you live down in SD.
She's very good and yes we ended up with full custody!

Strippoker
02-24-2007, 09:27 PM
Just wanted to say thanks to everyone tonight. You all may never know how much this has helped jason already by getting the anger out an seeing that we arent the first to deal with this. Its taken almost 7 years for jason to get to this point Im glad to see he has the suport of so many people.
mrs SP

Ultracrazy
02-24-2007, 09:31 PM
Why would the cops be waiting? is there any type of restraining order or something you are not mentioning? If not, you have every right to see your kids, just has much as she does. What do the current custody papers stat? Who has primary, do you have visitation? If you are not forbidden from seeing them, it might do you well to fly up there and attempt to follow through with your plans and let her shut you down. If that happens, have the local PD (they wont get involved in custody disputes) take a brief incident report documenting you were there, plus it looks good to your kids. It will also help when you end up back in court. Your daughters are old enough to give statements to the judge. As far as jurisdiction, since you both now reside in California, I think the CA courts would have the final say. They will probably review the WY orders, but the battle should only occur in CA. Good luck
This is right on the button.....

Ultracrazy
02-24-2007, 09:34 PM
She can't stop you from seeing your kids period!!!! Just bring your court papers stating the stipulations of visitation and have the cops with you when you pick them up to keep the peace. Even if you don't bring them back at the time agreed, all she can do is call the cops and they will tell her it is a civil matter. Take her ass to court and she will lose because all family law courts want whats best for the children. Even if the cops are there waiting for you, what the hell are they going to do anyway? Arrest you for trying to be a good father????
Sorry...........but this is bad advise. Do the right thing and do everything by the book. It will make you look better in the courts eyes.

C-2
02-24-2007, 10:48 PM
Just based upon the info you posted, FWIW, here are my initial thoughtsÂ…Â…
Make sure you are getting the entire story from your kids. Maybe something happened on their end that changed the plans you had, and they are scared to tell you.
Sounds like your ex might know youÂ’re up to something, thus the cops reference? Have the girls been talking, or did they let it slip? Your ex is saying that either because she has some pull with the PD (relative or friend), or she might think you are planning to nab the kids?
Was your ex aware of the parent-teacher conference, and how could she cancel it? Maybe she cancelled her involvement, but what does the teacher say? If the school is saying your daughter has a learning disability – maybe she does. The 64K questions is, what has your ex done to address the issue. That can either hurt you, or help you.
Girl Scouts – not consistent with a dirtbag parent.
What size town you dealing with up there? Is it a small county or someplace big like Santa Clara County?
There is a ton of home work that you should be doing, if it hasnÂ’t already been done.
For example, most every court needs to see an organized plan on your behalf. You need to have everything clearly enumerated and identified – everything from bedrooms and neighborhood, to school. Detailed plans, such as enrollment dates, the fact you have spoken to the school, info about the school, after school daycare, etc etc etc.
The fact the kids are getting bad grades, or are unhappy at their present location might not be enough to change custody. You need additional reasons, and a good plan.
If you have any dirt out there on you, or your new wife/family – be prepared to address and quash it. The Megans law thing sounds trivial – unless of course you have one in your neighborhood – then it might be relevant.
Similarly, find out whatÂ’s going on up there. Find out what your ex is up to, find out about her friends, living conditions, drug use, duiÂ’s, domestic violence allegations, recent job changes, the list goes on.
Find out what other extracurricular activities you kids have been involved with. Ask them about whoÂ’s doing what on the computer, your ex included. Bringing Internet friends around (except from HB of course) is not good, and a compelling argument.
Like I said, tons of work you can do before you even retain an attorney. You might also retain a PI up there to do some background work. You might also check out Nolo Press, they have some pretty spot-on books about the subject.
Girl ScoutsÂ…you throw another extracurricular in there and you are going to have a battle on your hand.
It can be done, just make sure your homework is thorough, and complete.
Most importantly, step back and think it thru. Let the pain and anger cool off, and then start with a logical, clear-minded and non-emotional approach. Put yourself in your exÂ’ shoes, put yourself in a neutral 3rd partyÂ’s view, and attack it from that angle.
:)

topless
02-25-2007, 05:15 AM
Sorry...........but this is bad advise. Do the right thing and do everything by the book. It will make you look better in the courts eyes.Sorry but I've seen it happen before and all the cops did was tell my friend that it was a civil matter and to take it to court when her ex went as far as to say he wasn't going to bring her son back period. I'm not saying kidnap them, I'm just saying if he is late bringing them home, she can't do shit so don't tell me I'm giving bad advise. I'm just saying the cops can't do shit about it. What is she going to say in court anyway? He brought them home late??? Did I advise him to do that or did I say that the cops wouldn't do anything? I'll retract my original post if I gave someone bad advise.

moneypit
02-25-2007, 07:17 AM
you might want to start by changing your screen name from the strippokers to the Mr. & Mrs.'s Happy Family...
The only advice I can recommend is don't be rash... stay cool and relaxed. The fact that she smokes around the house should squash her... hell its California! Can't even fart without anyone getting pissed.
Goodluck.

topless
02-25-2007, 09:19 AM
you might want to start by changing your screen name from the strippokers to the Mr. & Mrs.'s Happy Family
Goodluck.LMAO!!!!!! That should do it.

C-2
02-25-2007, 09:33 AM
The fact that she smokes around the house should squash her... hell its California!
Goodluck.
Agreed - and if she drives an SUV....... KA-CHING!!!!!:D :D