View Full Version : Need Some Advice!!!!!
barbigrl
02-01-2006, 09:09 AM
So I called my dad yesterday to check in because I have not talked to him in about a week. He proceeds to tell me that he had major surgery last week and has been layed up. I say WTF? He went in for routine hernia (sp?) surgery last tuesday, it was routine so he did not feel the need to tell me. He is very private, even with me. Well, after going in the Dr's discovered it was a lot worse then anticipated and had to go beyond into other organs. He was in the hospital for a few days. I am f*cking irate that my step-mother did not feel the need to call me and let me know. :mad: Is my father going to die and I am going to get an invitation in the mail to his funeral? How do I handle this? I want to let her know how I feel however I do not want to alienate her even more. I see my dad all year, I only see her about once a year....yeah she wins Step-mother of the year award for sure! :rolleyes: They live 20 mintes from me.
***boateditor
02-01-2006, 09:14 AM
So I called my dad yesterday to check in because I have not talked to him in about a week. He proceeds to tell me that he had major surgery last week and has been layed up. I say WTF? He went in for routine hernia (sp?) surgery last tuesday, it was routine so he did not feel the need to tell me. He is very private, even with me. Well, after going in the Dr's discovered it was a lot worse then anticipated and had to go beyond into other organs. He was in the hospital for a few days. I am f*cking irate that my step-mother did not feel the need to call me and let me know. :mad: Is my father going to die and I am going to get an invitation in the mail to his funeral? How do I handle this? I want to let her know how I feel however I do not want to alienate her even more. I see my dad all year, I only see her about once a year....yeah she wins Step-mother of the year award for sure! :rolleyes: They live 20 mintes from me.
"Dad, I know you cherish your privacy, but I worry about you. I wish you would let me know about these things. At least please have your wife give me a call if you get sick. I love you so much, Dad. I know that if something were wrong with me, you'd want me to call you."
Mrs. Bordsmnj
02-01-2006, 09:22 AM
Tell her that you were very upset and that you would appreciate it if she would keep you informed of these types of things. Explain that you love your dad as much as she does.
Or just make her ex-lax brownies. :rollside:
just be up front with your dad and tell him how you feel.
JetBoatRich
02-01-2006, 09:26 AM
she needs to know :rolleyes: what she did was wrong :mad:
barbigrl
02-01-2006, 09:28 AM
just be up front with your dad and tell him how you feel.
I did tell him this....its like talking to a wall. She wears the pants! He would not say anything to her! :yuk:
IMPATIENT 1
02-01-2006, 09:29 AM
As A Father Of A Young 9yr Old Princess I Think I Can Help Here.your Father Doesn't Want To Worry You Or Give You The Added Stress Of Wondering If The Surgery Will Go Fine And Such.my Princess Worries About "little Stuff" While My Twins Boys Let Everything Slide. But You Do Have A Point @ Wanting To Know If His Life Is In Danger.your Dad Is Protecting You From His Stress And Worries.hope He's Fine,good Luck
Dads are like that. Im pushing 40 and my Dad (almost 60) pulled the same stunt a couple of years ago, even the same procedure... he had a Hernia as well. They found out he was borderline Diabetic and kept him for 3 days. I got a call from his girlfriend AFTER they released him and I wasn't too happy about it either. I think its just part of being a dad....you know, they dont want to bother anyone and they sure dont want their daughter or son to worry about them while they are there. Above all I think all men hate being in the hospital and for a big crew to show up to remind you that you are weak, sick, etc. usually doesnt help much..unless of course its a serious matter.
MagicMtnDan
02-01-2006, 09:31 AM
I suspect you won't be able to change either one of them. Based on the little info we can use to speculate, I'd say that (a) your Dad is a very private person and you won't be able to change him and (b) your step-Mom is probably respecting your very private Father's wishes and not communicating the information to you. Be careful about attacking her (criticizing her), she's probably very loyal (and loving) to your Dad and only doing what he's asked her to do (what more could you ask from your Dad's wife?).
Just keep telling your Dad that you love him and wish he'd tell you important stuff when he knows it not after the fact.
PS: why do you and others think it's a good thing to air personal stuff like this in a very public Internet forum? I'm NOT criticizing you but I do wonder why people think it's a good thing?
Mrs. Bordsmnj
02-01-2006, 09:34 AM
PS: why do you and others think it's a good thing to air personal stuff like this in a very public Internet forum? I'm NOT criticizing you but I do wonder why people think it's a good thing?
Melissa has a lot of friends on here and I am sure she is comfortable asking for others' opinions.
I know this is a public internet forum but there are alot of people on here who are genuinely good friends, and not just internet friends.
:rollside:
barbigrl
02-01-2006, 09:34 AM
Tell her that you were very upset and that you would appreciate it if she would keep you informed of these types of things. Explain that you love your dad as much as she does.
Or just make her ex-lax brownies. :rollside:
Yeah my mom told me to call her and talk her...... I hate this crap.. :(
Mrs. casean
02-01-2006, 09:35 AM
Melissa, you have more of a right to know that she does... you are his daughter and have every right to know what's going on in his life with his health especially! That's BS she didn't tell you... she needs to know that this upset you and to not let it happen again. IF you're only 20 min away, maybe you need to stop by like the annoying step-daughter to get through to her :D You're just showing concern for your dad and she should want you to know these things! I hope your dad is alright and recovering fast!
barbigrl
02-01-2006, 09:39 AM
(b) your step-Mom is probably respecting your very private Father's wishes and not communicating the information to you.
PS: why do you and others think it's a good thing to air personal stuff like this in a very public Internet forum? I'm NOT criticizing you but I do wonder why people think it's a good thing?
No, actually my step-mother is a b*tch, and has hardly been apart of my brother and I's life since I was 10 years old. We are never invited on family vacations, parties etc..... the person I should blame is my dad for letting this happen....
Just needed some thoughts on this...its not like you know me or my dad, ya know. He does not even know HB exists...
I did tell him this....its like talking to a wall. She wears the pants! He would not say anything to her! :yuk:
than you need to put her in check walk up and sock her in the nose and say remember that the next time you dont tell me sumthing. it may work but if it doesnt it will make you feel better.
barbigrl
02-01-2006, 09:41 AM
Melissa has a lot of friends on here and I am sure she is comfortable asking for others' opinions.
I know this is a public internet forum but there are alot of people on here who are genuinely good friends, and not just internet friends.
:rollside:
exactly!! :)
BADBLOWN572
02-01-2006, 09:42 AM
Just say... "Listen Bitch!............." :p
Wicked stepmother....?
http://www.speedcraving.com/keith/avatars/subgun360.gif
Ziggy
02-01-2006, 10:56 AM
I'd agree with Linds and make a point of visiting them very regularly, don't need to stay long...If they ask why then simply tell them you'd be less inclined to stop by daily if they keep you abrest of important family matters.....afterall you are only 20 minutes away.
.
My parents thrive on me stopping by...and they live 2 minutes away.
***boateditor
02-01-2006, 11:15 AM
Play it any way you wish, but you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Sometimes the greatest sign of strength is to put your anger aside and be endearing. Everybody knows you have a right to know about your dad's sickness. But simply being right doesn't make things happen. To make things happen, you have to use your wits.
Tom Brown
02-01-2006, 11:23 AM
How do I handle this?
It's all about communication. Try to let him know that it's not about him, it's about you.
Oh... and get him to move 10 minutes closer. What does he think... gas is free?
Tom Brown
02-01-2006, 11:29 AM
Everybody knows you have a right to know about your dad's sickness.
... so I take it you wouldn't be onside with someone not telling their parents about something like... say...... cancer... for a couple of months? :D
Biglue
02-01-2006, 11:39 AM
First off sorry to hear about your father and wish him a speedy recover.
As far as the step mom what she did is foul, and showed no respect towards his children. Had it been her in a hospital bed and her kids in the dark, she may have seen things different. Couple of the guys mentioned about your father maybe down playing it or perhaps wanting to be private about his situation. Keep that in mind. As a father myself, I would not want to over worry my kids, but I would have let them know what was going on. I would have just reassured them everthing would be alright. Just my .02
If all else fails..........KICK THAT ASS. :crossx:
MAINEVENT
02-01-2006, 11:56 AM
Play it any way you wish, but you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Sometimes the greatest sign of strength is to put your anger aside and be endearing. Everybody knows you have a right to know about your dad's sickness. But simply being right doesn't make things happen. To make things happen, you have to use your wits.
"Dad, I know you cherish your privacy, but I worry about you. I wish you would let me know about these things. At least please have your wife give me a call if you get sick. I love you so much, Dad. I know that if something were wrong with me, you'd want me to call you."
Both Very True.... and if all else fails try to squeeze in a phone call to your dad more than once a week.....
***boateditor
02-01-2006, 12:01 PM
http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/500/2265i4468950_83945_2-med.gif
Every time I see this, I read it as: Hating make me you won't pretty.
Her454
02-01-2006, 12:04 PM
http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/500/2265i4468950_83945_2-med.gif
Every time I see this, I read it as: Hating make me you won't pretty.
But did you learn from it? :rollside:
***boateditor
02-01-2006, 12:05 PM
Incidentally, if MAINEVENT is the #1 Asshole, are these numbers 2 through 7?
http://www.***boat.com/forums/customavatars/avatar8680_7.gif
They're quite lovely.
MAINEVENT
02-01-2006, 12:08 PM
Incidentally, if MAINEVENT is the #1 Asshole, are these numbers 2 through 7?
http://www.***boat.com/forums/customavatars/avatar8680_7.gif
They're quite lovely.
LMAO :rollside:
***boateditor
02-01-2006, 12:20 PM
But did you learn from it? :rollside:
From what, "Hating me won't make you pretty?" What's there to learn exactly? That the person brandishing the logo is trying to appear smug. Lesson over. Hey, whatever corns your hole.
I'd like to see it on a bumper sticker: "Hating Me Won't Get You Ahead Of Me In This Lane."
Hey, whatever corns your hole.
lol... :p
h2oski2fast
02-01-2006, 12:54 PM
I'llbet I know why you are out of the loop. :yuk: :yuk: :yuk:
djunkie
02-01-2006, 01:16 PM
Want me to take care of the step mom? :rollside: :rollside:
http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/520/1768gun_Small_.jpg
J/K :crossx:
barbigrl
02-01-2006, 01:49 PM
Thank you all for your advice I do appreciate it! :)
Biglue I think you are right, she obviously has a lack of disrespect for my brother and I for not telling us. It does go a lot deeper then her just respecting my dad's wishes on being private, she wishes he did not have "other" kids. Nice as pie to my face....probably because she only has to see us on Christmas. This whole situation with my dad and her has bothered me for years, I get teary eyed when I think about how f*cked up my relationship with my family is. :(
Mainevent your right though...I need to make more of an effort then just a call a week. I guess I just have learned to accept it, but I shouldn't.
Jordy
02-01-2006, 01:54 PM
she obviously has a lack of disrespect for my brother and I for not telling us.
A complete and total lack of disrespect huh??? :idea:
Kind of like irregardless, right? :D
barbigrl
02-01-2006, 02:01 PM
A complete and total lack of disrespect huh??? :idea:
Kind of like irregardless, right? :D
:rolleyes:
:)
GRAMMER POLICE!! lol.... I see it now! :rollside:
***boateditor
02-01-2006, 03:56 PM
GRAMMER POLICE!!
Hating the dictionary won't make you smart.
Jordy
02-01-2006, 04:28 PM
Hating the dictionary won't make you smart.
Now that's funny right there. :D :D :D
barbigrl
02-01-2006, 04:35 PM
Hating the dictionary won't make you smart.
Never said I hated the dictionary :rolleyes: ......see the smilies!!! :)
PlyaPlya22
02-01-2006, 04:52 PM
http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/500/2265i4468950_83945_2-med.gif
Every time I see this, I read it as: Hating make me you won't pretty.
By looking at your avatar you have crossed eyes, maybe that explains it :rollside:
***boateditor
02-01-2006, 05:10 PM
Never said I hated the dictionary
When did anybody say they hated you?
Two K's
02-01-2006, 05:21 PM
than you need to put her in check walk up and sock her in the nose and say remember that the next time you dont tell me sumthing. it may work but if it doesnt it will make you feel better.
YEA, F---ing AYE. I totaly agree with LAFD, and after you do that tell her if she tells your Dad you'll come back and do it again. I would be real pissed too if somebody didn't let me know something was wrong with afamily member
76ANTHONY
02-01-2006, 08:17 PM
well miss bg, my advise is, let djunkie use that piece of crap gun before he pulls it on me, AGAIN. :D i wish i knew what to tell you honestly, but i dont think i have the great advise you getting from other people. your an intelligent women, what do you think you should do? the step mother needs to know her mistakes but if she wont listen then there is a problem.
my .02
you could always have mainevent take her out and then tell you dad his wife isnt being faithful.. :crossx:
im j/k.
i know i know, my advise sucks :D
oh and call me at least once a year, it would be nice to hear from you :yuk: :D
Redwing247
02-01-2006, 10:09 PM
Leave the gun at home...!!!!!!!!!!! Do not go POSTAL.
:)
djunkie
02-01-2006, 10:24 PM
well miss bg, my advise is, let djunkie use that piece of crap gun before he pulls it on me, AGAIN. :D i wish i knew what to tell you honestly, but i dont think i have the great advise you getting from other people. your an intelligent women, what do you think you should do? the step mother needs to know her mistakes but if she wont listen then there is a problem.
my .02
you could always have mainevent take her out and then tell you dad his wife isnt being faithful.. :crossx:
im j/k.
i know i know, my advise sucks :D
oh and call me at least once a year, it would be nice to hear from you :yuk: :D
:crossx: :crossx:
djunkie
02-01-2006, 10:24 PM
Leave the gun at home...!!!!!!!!!!! Do not go POSTAL.
:)
You skeered???? :rollside:
Redwing247
02-01-2006, 10:28 PM
You skeered???? :rollside:
Nah... Just dont want to get her locked up before I got a chance to meet her. :cry:
92562
02-01-2006, 10:54 PM
Don't worry Redwing, there aren't any bullets in the cylinder!
But seriously, my .02:
Brett has it right on all of his responses but you need to be careful. Since she (the beeeaaaatch) is married to your Dad, she doesn't have tell you anything; and she may know it. If your Dad was in the hospital and you asked the Doc for information, he couldn't tell you. Only his spouse or someone that he designates in writing. (Others in the medical field know this as HIPAA which is leagaleze privacy BS)
Go with the Honey, leave the hate at home and maybe have a slice of humble pie. He's your Dad after all, and the only one you get. The nicer you are, the more the "step" will sour and you'll smell like a rose.
Sorry for sonding like poetry but as the father of a Princess, it just happens some time.
----Rob
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