Because we all know HB is the place to go for relationship advice... [Archive]

BshyBvrGirl

04-12-2007, 07:34 AM

So I've been sitting on an email for almost a week now because I don't honestly know how to respond. Apparantly, in my group of friends, I'm the go to person for listening and advice. Said friend has been in a relationship for almost 6 years now. And the same damn conversation comes up right around their "anniversary." Yep, we all know the discussion :rolleyes: Of course, the way it goes down is that my friend gets all hurt and teary eyed and has that hard conversation of where the relationship is going and his response is always the same...apologizes and goes to bed. Obviously it bothers her a a hell of a lot more than him. Good stuff huh :D
Not one to have a great track record on relationships nor have I ever been engaged/married/or even close to that situation....so not focking clue what to say.
Do I tell her to dump the guy? Do I tell her to just be patient? I'm not understanding her rush to be engaged in the first place since other than the marriage deal, they are quite happy together.
So let's hear it HB...the good the bad and the ugly :D And hell, I only have 2 more days left at my current job so we all know ain't nothin gettin done and I need some amusement :D

HavaSkank

04-12-2007, 07:35 AM

Three words: Kurt and Goldie

mrs.rvrluvr

04-12-2007, 07:39 AM

Damn chicks....always gotta get all teary eyed :( Marriage ain't all its cracked up to be...I say stay single & hump away. :D
Just kidding....been married 15 yrs & love it. Tell your friend she shouldn't push him into doing something he is obviously not ready for, he may just run away. Just my two cents.

Tom Brown

04-12-2007, 07:40 AM

This issue would best be handled by a professional.
Has anyone seen Ratso?

BshyBvrGirl

04-12-2007, 07:43 AM

Surely I would have expected a question like, does she take it in the pooper :eek:
PAGING RATSO...relationship advice needed :D

Big Warlock

04-12-2007, 07:43 AM

I think a pic of you would help!

HavaSkank

04-12-2007, 07:45 AM

I did the marriage thang for a spell and now I've realized that the world is my sausage smorgasbord. Why jeopardize the endless feast?

Cole Trickle

04-12-2007, 07:46 AM

Tell her not to push when he is ready it will happen.:)
It took me 7.5 years to spring the question and my better half never gave me any grief;):D

racecar.hotshoe

04-12-2007, 07:48 AM

Its time to shit or get off the pot.They arent getting any younger.Glad I could help.:D NEXT!

riverbound

04-12-2007, 07:49 AM

Tell her not to push when he is ready it will happen.:)
It took me 7.5 years to spring the question and my better half never gave me any grief;):D
Thats because she was happier not being engaged....now she is tied down to you;)

TAF

04-12-2007, 07:49 AM

Only 1 couple every made a good marriage after putting it off or waiting that long. Most of them split:( apart in the first 2 yrs. Me personally, I can tell whether I want to marry (in love w/ ) someone in about 6 months. I was :D married for 12 yrs. (divorced 5 now) and knew I wanted to marry her after 2 months.:sqeyes: As others said she shouldn't push him into it because he may love her but just not ready for who knows how many reasons.
Good luck!

racecar.hotshoe

04-12-2007, 07:50 AM

Thats because she was happier not being engaged....now she is tied down to you;)
OUCH!:D

BshyBvrGirl

04-12-2007, 07:54 AM

racecar.hotshoe

04-12-2007, 07:56 AM

BshyBvrGirl

04-12-2007, 08:03 AM

pretty much nailed it right there :D

bigriverdog

04-12-2007, 08:07 AM

TELL THE GUY TO GROW A SACK AND MAKE A COMMITMENT OR MOVE ON. Just my .02, I guess I have some expierence on the subject, I've been married 32 years to my high school sweet heart. Trust me, it takes 10 years before you even get to the level of love that's selfless. Marriage today is a commitment to being happy. "It's all good until something comes along and rocks the boat", then its head to the divorce attorney.

HavaSkank

04-12-2007, 08:16 AM

Marriage-schmarriage. The 1950's called and they want their institution back

HavaSkank

04-12-2007, 08:18 AM

Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.
Wedding rings: the world's smallest handcuffs.

76ANTHONY

04-12-2007, 08:19 AM

Tell her not to push when he is ready it will happen.:)
It took me 7.5 years to spring the question and my better half never gave me any grief;):D
and dont forget my bottle of captain morgan, biatchhhhhhhh:D

Ziggy

04-12-2007, 08:26 AM

If she pressures either he'll cave in reluctantly and blame shit on her pushing the issue when thimgs get tough or he'll find a new milk source.
The one thing I did was not give in when it was expected(dating anniversary,etc).......when I did pop the question she was completely caught off-gaurd which made it extra special and memorable.
Gentle reminders by her fine but pressure, no.

HavaSkank

04-12-2007, 08:59 AM

Home cooking: where many a man thinks his wife is.

HavaSkank

04-12-2007, 09:01 AM

If your husband and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie?

BarryMac

04-12-2007, 09:38 AM

If he doesn't want to pop the question and she forces it I would give the "wedded bliss" no more then 2 years, he'll end up hating her for pushing him into something he obviously wasn't ready to do... However if she takes it in the dookie shoot things may work out for eternity... :D :D

cxr133

04-12-2007, 09:43 AM

My thought is she should leave the subject alone. there's no timeline. They live together, they're happy, I say keep it that way. But maybe that's the whole point....he lives with her, he's happy, why change it.
First answer: tell her to sleep w/ you that will make it all better.
second answer: tell her to make an ultimatum.. 1-3 years and if the guy is not ready to commit... be willing to move on. I have known at least 3 girls who have done this and they are all happily married now. Of course, the guy will put up a fight at first and might even wait until the very last minute. BUT i bet he will come around and commitment and if not she should be willing to move on

topless

04-12-2007, 09:54 AM

Before I got married the Deacon at our church came over and told me this
Love is blind
Love is marraige
Marraige is an institutuon
So marraige is an institution for the blind.

BshyBvrGirl

04-12-2007, 10:07 AM

if she takes it in the dookie shoot things may work out for eternity... :D :D
oh how I love ya Barry :D :D :D

CBadDad

04-12-2007, 10:09 AM

Marriage-schmarriage. The 1950's called and they want their institution back
HavaSkank is on a roll.
This is a different era, a wedding ring will change absolutely nothing!
If they're living together, what is the rush? IMO, they are "married". Who's pushing her anyways? Mom? What is a ceromony gonna change? Cost them a fortune and they'll still probably break up down the road.
Tell her to let it go, she focked up when she moved in with him.

topless

04-12-2007, 10:10 AM

HavaSkank is on a roll.
This is a different era, a wedding ring will change absolutely nothing!
If they're living together, what is the rush? IMO, they are "married". Who's pushing her anyways? Mom? What is a ceromony gonna change? Cost them a fortune and they'll still probably break up down the road.
Tell her to let it go, she focked up when she moved in with him.Maybe he spent the night with her and never left.

CBadDad

04-12-2007, 10:16 AM

Maybe he spent the night with her and never left.
O.K., then she focked up when she let him stay. Either way, she is in a lose/lose situation.

TAF

04-12-2007, 10:30 AM

Maybe he spent the night with her and never left.
more than once recently, hee hee hee:sqeyes: :D

TAF

04-12-2007, 10:36 AM

Wedding rings: the world's smallest handcuffs.
1. the least affective
2. the smallest hangman's noose
3. 2 of 'em which means she's already getting half of everything
4. ?
Sorry for the rant, I actually like the thought of marriage:D

topless

04-12-2007, 10:37 AM

more than once recently, hee hee hee:sqeyes: :D
You are silly. I only have 3 stories so you might hear it again.

HavaSkank

04-12-2007, 10:40 AM

Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.

HavaSkank

04-12-2007, 10:47 AM

Marriage changes passion - suddenly you're in bed with a relative

BarryMac

04-12-2007, 11:04 AM

oh how I love ya Barry :D :D :D
Really? Wanna skip T town and that "BF" of yours, we have room for you to come to So Cal??? :D :D

BshyBvrGirl

04-12-2007, 11:27 AM

I'll just reroute my POD and I'll see you Thursday? :D Ya think Sleek will miss me? :D

BarryMac

04-12-2007, 11:53 AM

I'll just reroute my POD and I'll see you Thursday? :D Ya think Sleek will miss me? :D
Okie Dokie, see ya Thursday, I'll have a Margarita with your name on it ready, oh and who really cares about Sleek anyway, he's the past, time for the future... :D :D

Racey

04-12-2007, 11:55 AM

If they've been together for 6 years and are living together how is that any different from marriage? It sounds to me like your friend has issues feeling accepted and thinks that making it official will fill the void in her life. Some women for whatever reason think that being married means that they are truly desired/desirable, she should just enjoy the relationship and not worry about a stupid label.
If they are happy together then why stir the pot by trying to force your way into marriage??? Just let it ride itself out, it will all come together in its own time. you can't force things like that, plain and simple.

BshyBvrGirl

04-12-2007, 12:12 PM

Okie Dokie, see ya Thursday, I'll have a Margarita with your name on it ready, oh and who really cares about Sleek anyway, he's the past, time for the future... :D :D
oohhh...I do like my margarita's :D I hope Sleek won't be too sad. oh well, time to move on :D

centerhill condor

04-12-2007, 12:30 PM

there's a book title that covers it fairly well, "he's just not that into you". The guy was on "oprah" and all these gals had the same series of questions.
make note to self. why would a girl want a guy that can't make the most important decision without a gun to his head?
She's only asking 'cause she wants someone to assure her that he'll change...this is as good as he gets for "them".

HavaSkank

04-12-2007, 12:36 PM

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers

Ziggy

04-12-2007, 12:52 PM

However if she takes it in the dookie shoot things may work out for eternity... :D :D
You are such a riot Barry:D ..............but you also make a lot of sense, most of the time.;)

BshyBvrGirl

04-12-2007, 01:17 PM

hmmm...I finally emailed back. And let's just say, I was very noncommittal :rolleyes: Basically, I told her that nobody is judging her or pressuring her. She needs to make the decision for herself. And that no matter what happens, her friends will be there supporting her. or something like that ;)
And then I told her that if she really wanted to snag her dream man and keep him for eternity, she had to take it in the pooper :D

BarryMac

04-12-2007, 01:18 PM

And then I told her that if she really wanted to snag her dream man and keep him for eternity, she had to take it in the pooper :D
I think I'm in Love... :D :D :D

Mandelon

04-12-2007, 01:27 PM

the pooper thing is funny.
If marriage is that important, there's no law against her proposing to him. that will put the pressure on.....and either he says yes, and they do it, or he says no, and that may be the end of the relationship. Is she ready for that????

HavaSkank

04-12-2007, 01:31 PM

ass sex = true love
who knew

BshyBvrGirl

04-12-2007, 01:38 PM

aww Barry...I love you too :devil: Just don't tell that BF of mine :D

BarryMac

04-12-2007, 01:43 PM

ass sex = true love
who knew
Men prefer to call it the "Special Love"... :D :D
aww Barry...I love you too :devil: Just don't tell that BF of mine :D
Our secret is safe with me... ;) :D :D
I have one question, the new chick that sits in the office across from me keeps giving me the "eye", think I should ask about the "Special Love"??? :D

TAF

04-12-2007, 01:44 PM

Marriage changes passion - suddenly you're in bed with a relative
Now I see why you got the praise from:idea: :D

topless

04-12-2007, 01:46 PM

Men prefer to call it the "Special Love"... :D :D
I have one question, the new chick that sits in the office across from me keeps giving me the "eye", think I should ask about the "Special Love"??? :DAsk her and then report back..(this should be good)
:D

BarryMac

04-12-2007, 02:19 PM

Ask her and then report back..(this should be good)
:D
Uh oh, she said she's going to HR, should I be worried? Although HR could stand something else??? :D :D

Ziggy

04-12-2007, 02:31 PM

Men prefer to call it the "Special Love"... :D :D
I have one question, the new chick that sits in the office across from me keeps giving me the "eye", think I should ask about the "Special Love"??? :D
Is that the Tranny you told me started working there recently? :D

Queenbee

04-12-2007, 03:36 PM

Barry, you make my smile.
Ziggy, you make me laugh out loud!!!!
They should have had the marriage talk early on in the relationship. Its pretty important. Some people have no intention of ever getting married...thats their choice...they will live with their partner, be faithful (take or givein the pooper) until they die but some people require a wedding license and a marriage to make them happy. It's almost like the baby conversation....before you get into a long term arrangement, the issue of whether you want kids and whether you want to be married should be discussed. These are relationship makers and breakers.

BshyBvrGirl

04-12-2007, 04:09 PM

They guy I dated prior to Sleek...I asked him about marriage and kids on the first date :eek: I was half joking and half drunk :D It didn't seem to bother him, we still ended up in the parking lot of Chili's until 5am :devil::D
But I agree, they should have had this conversation years ago. And it should have been an evolving one as they moved in together and then relocated to a new city together for his job. I don't think he means to hurt her, but I don't think he's in a rush...and I'm not understanding hers.

BshyBvrGirl

05-24-2007, 01:55 PM

They officially got engaged last night! Last night was the anniversary of their first date...
he was playing us all along :D
Congratulations!

Lightning

05-24-2007, 02:49 PM

They officially got engaged last night! Last night was the anniversary of their first date...
he was playing us all along :D
Congratulations!
What a puss, he should have held out a little longer....

Baja Big Dog

05-24-2007, 03:33 PM

She needs to thinjk about this ,,,,oh yea and the most important thing...does she swallow?:D

zudnic

05-24-2007, 03:50 PM

My older brother's job takes him to China. He started to Skype and met this girl over there. They started talking marriage before even meeting. I made both my Brother's come to LA with me over X-mas. My present to him was near Pico and Lincoln, she better have given him a very happy ending to his massage!!! Gave them $260 after-all.........
I'm never, ever, ever, getting married or into another committed relationship ever again!!!! Screw that....... ;)

ratso

05-24-2007, 04:06 PM

They officially got engaged last night! Last night was the anniversary of their first date...
he was playing us all along :D
Congratulations!
$Another$One$Bites$The$Dust$

Kilrtoy

05-24-2007, 04:12 PM

They officially got engaged last night! Last night was the anniversary of their first date...
he was playing us all along :D
Congratulations!
Wow now another 6 years before they (IF THEY) wed,
He is still playing her, what is his name , the puppet master
TOOK ME ONE DATE TO KNOW,
I WANTED TO MARRY MY WIFE

ratso

05-24-2007, 04:17 PM

Wow now another 6 years before they (IF THEY) wed,
He is still playing her, what is his name , the puppet master
TOOK ME ONE DATE TO KNOW,
I WANTED TO MARRY MY WIFE
That's different... In your case you knew something better couldn't possibly come along...:D

Devil's Advocate

05-24-2007, 04:32 PM

I did the marriage thang for a spell and now I've realized that the world is my sausage smorgasbord. Why jeopardize the endless feast?
.:D
Tell her not to push when he is ready it will happen.:)
It took me 7.5 years to spring the question and my better half never gave me any grief;):D
Pushing is bad, but waiting sucks too, especially if the wait no longer makes sense to you. She shouldn't just have to endlessly wait either until he figures it out.:rolleyes:
Its time to shit or get off the pot.They arent getting any younger.Glad I could help. NEXT!
Bingo!
If they've been together for 6 years and are living together how is that any different from marriage? It sounds to me like your friend has issues feeling accepted and thinks that making it official will fill the void in her life. Some women for whatever reason think that being married means that they are truly desired/desirable, she should just enjoy the relationship and not worry about a stupid label.
If they are happy together then why stir the pot by trying to force your way into marriage??? Just let it ride itself out, it will all come together in its own time. you can't force things like that, plain and simple.
Well she must not be THAT happy or it wouldn't even be coming up. If marriage is just a label, why do people do it then, to get labled?
I can totally relate to this scenio as it's playing out for me right now. :D He drug his feet for 6 years. :rolleyes: I didn't start putting the heat on about the marriage subject till the last 3 or so. To me, it was important and I didn't feel that it made sense any longer to be boyfriend and girlfriend still after this many years. I'm old-fashion in many ways. I wasn't going to sit there and force anyone into doing something they don't want to do, but on the same note, I'm not going to continue on if it's not what I feel I need. So I left.;) He had the space he thought he wanted and I was prepared to move on. Except he figured out the hard way what a dumb ass he was and came back and fixed it.:D (sorry babe, love ya). Some things can easily be taken for granted.
6 years later, we're getting married this October.:D

zudnic

05-24-2007, 04:49 PM

That's different... In your case you knew something better couldn't possibly come along...:D
Swans mate for life, but when you think about, it's not like a better one is going to come along........

CornWater

05-24-2007, 04:52 PM

Wow now another 6 years before they (IF THEY) wed,
He is still playing her, what is his name , the puppet master
TOOK ME ONE DATE TO KNOW,
I WANTED TO MARRY MY WIFE
Yet another example of why you are baddest mofo to ever grace ***boat with their presence...
:rolleyes:

Sleek-Jet

05-25-2007, 06:29 AM

Really? Wanna skip T town and that "BF" of yours, we have room for you to come to So Cal???
I'll just reroute my POD and I'll see you Thursday? :D Ya think Sleek will miss me? :D
Okie Dokie, see ya Thursday, I'll have a Margarita with your name on it ready, oh and who really cares about Sleek anyway, he's the past, time for the future... :D
oohhh...I do like my margarita's :D I hope Sleek won't be too sad. oh well, time to move on :D
aww Barry...I love you too :devil: Just don't tell that BF of mine
Men prefer to call it the "Special Love"...
Our secret is safe with me... ;)
I have one question, the new chick that sits in the office across from me keeps giving me the "eye", think I should ask about the "Special Love"???
OK... WTF???? :confused: :idea:
:D

HavaSkank

05-25-2007, 07:00 AM

I broke up with a guy seconds after he asked me to marry him. We were drinking heavily at a Clippers game and he dropped to a knee and started fumbling in his pocket. Everyone around us watched the freakish attraction, assuming they knew the outcome.
Of course I panicked, started coughing and beer was now streaming from my nostrils. I was uttering softly "oh please dont, pleasssse dont, please get up" but the stupid bastard continued with the proposal, despite my OBVIOUS answer.
FYI: When a bitch has beer shooting our her nose, it's not a good sign.