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View Full Version : Best chicken joke ever!



RitcheyRch
04-12-2007, 09:15 AM
John, the farmer, was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called "pullets", and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs (for you city folks).
The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform, went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.
Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells. The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, and a very fine specimen he was, too.
But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
But to Farmer John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He would sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result...The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize, but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well!
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making: Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention!?!

HavaSkank
04-12-2007, 09:20 AM
Why did the pervert cross the road?
Because he was fu#*ing the chicken
BAH-CAHHH

JetStalker
04-12-2007, 10:34 AM
This farmer had to go to the feed store to get a new rooster. The man at the feed store tells him about Brewster. He is very active and will keep the hens fertilized.
So the farmer takes Brewster home, and sets him in the hen house. Pretty soon the farmer hears all this commotion coming from the hen house. When he gets there, Brewster has screwed all the hens to death, and now he was going after the pigs! The farmer told him, Brewster, if you dont' stop that you're gonna screw yourself to death! But Brewster kept on going.
The next morning the farmers wife comes running up from the cow pasture. "You gotta go out there, all the cows are dead!" The farmer goes running out, and sees Brrewster, sitting on one of the dead cows. "Dammit Brewster, you're gonna screw yourself to death!"
The next day when the farmer goes to talke his horses out, he sees they're all dead as well, and Brewster is sitting on the fence. "Dammit! You're gonna screw yourself to death!"
When the farmer got up the next morning, all was quiet. He goes to check on Brewster, and there he laid, dead. The farmer walked up to him to pick him up and bury him, mumbling "I told you, you were gonna screw yourself to death." Just the Brewster's head pops up and he looks at the farmer, points to the sky and says "Shhh!! Buzzards!"

HavaSkank
04-12-2007, 11:12 AM
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls
Why did the plane cross the road?
It was hijacked by a damn chicken