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purrfecttremor
04-22-2007, 07:14 AM
Our daughter in law lost her baby last night [8 weeks pregnate] and our whole family is obviosly hurting very badly. What do i say to comfort them? Everyone was so excited because our daughter also gave birth in march and the kids would have only been 9 months apart.:(

redneckgirl
04-22-2007, 08:10 AM
Bill sorry to hear about that:( God Bless your family!!
Shelley "RNG"

haulina29
04-22-2007, 08:11 AM
Sorry for your loss weve been there . H29

SurfOnH20
04-22-2007, 08:27 AM
Bill, sorry to hear about your loss. My wife and I tried for 12 years before we had our first child. Before that time we had many lumps and bumps come before us. It's hard when something like this happens. I have a friend who works in pediatrics ICU. I have always wonder why at the start of pregnancy does this happen. She explained to us in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy is the most critical with fetal development. It's a time when the very foundation of the baby is being formed. If something is just not right (defects, etc) the body will spontaneously abort it. In life I have learned one thing..There is no such things as accidents only appointments. It sounds like you guys are a close loving family and because of that you will come out of this even stonger. My prayers will be with your family..
God Bless !!
Pat

AZJD
04-22-2007, 08:32 AM
These thing happen for a reason. Your family will get bigger in time and with healthy babies. Sorry for your loss.......:(

Jyruiz
04-22-2007, 08:34 AM
Sorry to hear that Bill.

boatsnblondes
04-22-2007, 08:39 AM
Bill, sorry to hear about this..my brothers wife did the same thing....he wanted a daughter so bad, we all felt for him...miscarriages are strange things...I look at it as natures way of protecting the woman..for whatever reason, nature took it's course...I'm sorry you didn't get your Irish twins bro, be well, your in our prayers up here....:(

DILLIGAF
04-22-2007, 08:51 AM
I am sorry to hear that :(

MRS FLYIN VEE
04-22-2007, 09:24 AM
:( we are so sorry. There really isn't much you can say but you love her and comfort them as much as possible. :(

boatsnblondes
04-22-2007, 09:38 AM
:( we are so sorry. There really isn't much you can say but you love her and comfort them as much as possible. :(
One last thing, my brothers wife took it very personally, thought maybe she was to blame for it, maybe she did something wrong, she wasn't/didn't. Please don't let that happen with your daughter in law....took a long time for my brothers wife to get over it...just be there for her, let her know she is loved.....

voodoomedman
04-22-2007, 09:47 AM
I've been through it. There is nothing you can say. Just be there for them. Like said it is very very common (especially with the first) and it is nature doing it because something wasn't right. If that baby would have went full term there probably would have been something seriously wrong. As soon as they can try again they should go for it. We did and now our son just turned 2 last month and our next child is due at the end of June. I am raising little river rats. It was tough though. Really was like losing your child. I was sick for days. Your kids just have a little angel up in heaven looking after the brother's and sisters that will be coming along shortly.

purrfecttremor
04-22-2007, 10:37 AM
Thank you all for you'r prayers and advise. Donna and I went through the same thing twice when we were young and still haunts us. I think the best advise is to reasure our kids that it wasn't anything they did and our day will come.

SHOTKALLIN
04-22-2007, 10:53 AM
These thing happen for a reason. Your family will get bigger in time and with healthy babies. Sorry for your loss.......:(
Very well said. God has reasons for everything. Thoughts and prayers. Sorry for your loss.

Tremor Girl
04-22-2007, 11:04 AM
Bill, I'm so sorry. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.
We miss you guys and hope to see you soon. Take care!

jbone
04-22-2007, 11:17 AM
I went through this with my wife. 10 yrs of miscarrages and surgeries to correct a miriad of problems before we decided to adopt. Then of course after we adopt and the wife goes on the pill, she gets pregnant and we now have 2 wonderful girls.
During all the miscarrages though we discovered that it is very common. In fact, many "heavy flows" are actually miscarrages.
As far as what to say, I don't think there is really anything that could be said to help with their feelings. Just be positive and re-assuring.
J

Flyinbowtie
04-22-2007, 01:57 PM
Your family will be in our prayers. I don't think it is so much what you say at a time like this as it is being there for them, reassuring them, and doing what you can to minimize the guilt she is bound to be putting on herself.

cvonscpa
04-22-2007, 02:35 PM
I'm so sorry to hear of your family's loss.
I've been lurking in the forums for several weeks (new ***boater) but I just had to respond to this post.
My wife and I lost our son last November after being born prematurely. There is no way to truly describe the feelings of these types of loss. My heart breaks whenever I hear of these stories. My advice is to support your son and daughter in law with all of the love and encouragement possible. The healing process may take years, but be patient with both of them and give them your unconditional love and support. There are no words that can be said to ease their pain, and hearing encouragement such as "just try again" can sometimes be hurtful even though no hurt was intended. You and your family just need to grieve the loss at your own pace and keep faith.
Our prayers go out o you and your family during this devastating time.

Devil's Advocate
04-22-2007, 03:08 PM
So sorry for the loss of the baby. :( Very sad indeed. But sometimes it's natural, especially if there may have been a problem with the fetus. I know that's not very comforting but I'm sure she will be able to have another healthy birth with no problems at all. Blessings to you and the family.

purrfecttremor
04-23-2007, 08:44 PM
Thanks to everyone for the encouragment yesterday. Everyone feels a little better today and Shana went to the doctoor this morning and were on to a new chapter in our lives. :confused:

moneypit
04-23-2007, 09:31 PM
:( we are so sorry. There really isn't much you can say but you love her and comfort them as much as possible. :(
exactly.. we lost 5 pregnancies between our two boys. Nobody could say anything that could take away the hurt and endless why us questions.... We learned its all part of life.

All-Star
04-23-2007, 09:42 PM
Nothing can take away the pain for sure...
The only thing that comforted me was.....
"Everything happens for a reason" and that God designed this feature in us so that only he knew when something was wrong with the babies development.
Keep trying and all will work out.
I am dealing with this same situation with my younger sister who is only 23. I just keep telling her that it will happen when the timing is right. and we need to be patient. It is all with Gods time, not our time.
They are so young and they have plenty of time to get it done, even though it does not ease the current pain.
I wish you and your family luck honey. I have grown up with 3 aunt and a mother that had 7-8 kids each, and then an aunt that could not have any. It is strange how nature works.
Just remember that it is not always OUR plans and desires, God has somethingto do with it too. There is always a big picture...... and always a lesson that we need to learn from everything in our lives.
God Bless you, and pray for wisdom and insight on this subject.
Good night and I hope I was not to preachy, just been down that road way tooooo many times.:(