Everybody Should Have a Bruce Sampson At Work...

[Pussywhippled]

I started my business in 1994 and have made up my own ways of doing things ever since, after all I am the boss. But to date my best decision I've made was hiring Bruce Sampson.
Bruce is a loyal employee who works for free and never causes any problem but rather handles them unknowingly.
Back in the year 2000 I started getting upset with all of the BS phone calls and people coming into our office looking for the person in charge of... and when there was a problem I needed someone to blame as well.
So to place blame and responsibilty on someone other than myself I MADE UP (fictional character) a name of someone responsible and in charge, Bruce Sampson.
Even though I'm the owner of the company, there are days when I can pass for the company driver.
I have even made deliveries to customers yelling at me where have you been? We've been waiting all day and told them, "Hey I'm just the driver" and then they have no other option but to apologize to me.
We have kept this Bruce Sampson thing going for the past few years given his name out 1000's of times and blamed him for many of our mistakes.
Now with it being 2007 Bruce gets phone calls and receives mail daily when he doesn't really exhist. When people call they ask for Bruce and we tell them that he is on the other line or out of the office, but we can take a message for him.
I am glad that Bruce doesn't do sales, otherwise I might have a problem on my hands missing sales calls or even have to pay him comission.
I am waiting for the day that a creditcard shows up in the mail with his name on it, lunch for everybody...

[clownpuncher]

Bruce Sampson? That ****er owes me money

[XtrmWakeborder]

LOL i was talking to our receptionist earlier this week at the firm I work for and she stops to talk to some solicitor of coffee or something. He asks is "John Doe" here, and she says no he's in a meeting all day I'll have him call you back. He gets on the elevator and and leaves and another office girls say who cleans out "John Doe's" voicemail? And she said I do. I was kind of puzzled because i had never heard of this guy. Apparently he's our fictional office manager. I guess she's had people come up and say "I talked to John Doe about this and he said to come by." and she just smiles and says ok i'll have him get back to you. Pretty damn smart.:D

[91nordic29]

I used to refer those people/calls to "Susie Brown":D

[DSW]

That is the best idea! I just created a fictional owner for the business I own. Now I will blame him for everything...:eek:

[Cigalert]

After learning this new business method I just hired Abe Froman "the sausage king of chicago".

[soupersonic]

I think Bruce needs a vacation, sounds like he has been working hard and probably deserves it :D

[Jordy]

My cousin had one of those employees when he had his insulation business. Hilarious the amount of calls, visits, and mail ol' Frank Keldogger gets, even now, after he sold the company. :D :D :D