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MRS FLYIN VEE
06-05-2007, 04:48 PM
> One for the ladies
> One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-
>
> shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to
> me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
>
> "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
>
> He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."
>
> And they say blondes are dumb...
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------
>
> A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
>
> "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
>
> The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------
>
> "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out
> of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if
> I mowed the lawn like this?"
>
> "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied..
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------
>
> Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
>
> A: A rumor
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------
>
> A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
> wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them
> and said that because they had been so good that each one of them
> could have one wish.
>
> The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
>
> Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
>
> The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
>
> Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
>
> Gotta love that fairy!
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------
>
> Dear Lord,
>
> I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
> Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll
> beat him to death.
>
> AMEN
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> --------------------- -
>
> Q: Why do little boys whine?
>
> A: They are practicing to be men.
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------
>
> Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
>
> A: Trustworthy.
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------
>
> Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
> calling your name?
>
> A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------
>
> Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
>
> A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------
>
> Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
>
> A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
>
:D

Ziggy
06-05-2007, 04:54 PM
The "whine" one was certainly meant for woman training... :D:D
No?:confused: :D :D :D

MRS FLYIN VEE
06-05-2007, 04:56 PM
The "whine" one was certainly meant for woman training... :D:D
No?:confused: :D :D :D
lol!!.. :D :D

Devil's Advocate
06-05-2007, 04:56 PM
I like the second one and the Dear Lord one.:D
Hey Vee, where's my shirt?:D

acatitude
06-05-2007, 04:57 PM
haters lol:D :D

photo chick
06-05-2007, 04:59 PM
Yeah Ms Vee where's my shirt! I've been checking the mail daily and nothing but bills bills bills...:(
Second one is my favorite!

MRS FLYIN VEE
06-05-2007, 05:01 PM
I like the second one and the Dear Lord one.:D
Hey Vee, where's my shirt?:D
Honestly I totally forgot.. I have them really.. I am going to send it in the a.m promise.. If not i will post pics of myself so they can be photochopped.:sqeyes: :D

MRS FLYIN VEE
06-05-2007, 05:02 PM
Yeah Ms Vee where's my shirt! I've been checking the mail daily and nothing but bills bills bills...:(
Second one is my favorite!
am sending it in the a.m.. Promise.. refer to my previous post.:D

Devil's Advocate
06-05-2007, 05:03 PM
Honestly I totally forgot.. I have them really.. I am going to send it in the a.m promise.. If not i will post pics of myself so they can be photochopped.:sqeyes: :D
:eek: You don't want to get punished like that.:D

MRS FLYIN VEE
06-05-2007, 05:08 PM
:eek: You don't want to get punished like that.:D
I know but it will make me send them asap..:jawdrop: :D :D