73beast
02-15-2006, 06:11 PM
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN"
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE"
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE"
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY"
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION"
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED "
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED"
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE"
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED"
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR"
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER"
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY"
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN"
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS"
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION"
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS"
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL"
7. He does not have his "head up his ass" - He develops a case of
"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION"
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY"
9. He is n! ot afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He has "MARRIAGE DEFICIT DISORDER"
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED"
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN"
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE"
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE"
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY"
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION"
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED "
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED"
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE"
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED"
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR"
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER"
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY"
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN"
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS"
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION"
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS"
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL"
7. He does not have his "head up his ass" - He develops a case of
"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION"
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY"
9. He is n! ot afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He has "MARRIAGE DEFICIT DISORDER"
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED"
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE