I like to think of Jesus, like [Archive]

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07-12-2007, 09:08 AM

I like to think of Jesus, like with giant eagle wings.
And singing lead vocal for Lynyrd Skynyrd with, like an angel band. And I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk.

Mrs. Bordsmnj

07-12-2007, 09:23 AM

Shake and bake ;)

Phat Matt

07-12-2007, 09:29 AM

I like to think of Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt because it says I want to be formal but I want to party...cuz I like to party.

Jordan_23_85205

07-12-2007, 09:45 AM

I like to think of Jesus as an Ice Dancer, dressed in an all-white jumpsuit, and doing an interpretive dance of my life

lucky

07-12-2007, 09:49 AM

I like to think of Jesus sitting on my shoulder aruging with the devil :D

AZJD

07-12-2007, 09:50 AM

I'm all hopped up on Mtn. Deeew! And I'm still wearin my piss pants......:D

OverKill

07-12-2007, 09:52 AM

I like to think of Jesus as the only one who would give his life for the worlds SIN.

Jordan_23_85205

07-12-2007, 09:52 AM

I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey

wright27

07-12-2007, 09:54 AM

I like to think of Jesus as the only one who would give his life for the worlds SIN.
Me too:D

07-12-2007, 09:55 AM

Dear lord baby Jesus or as our brothers to the south call you, hay zoos, we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Domino's, KFC and the always delicious Taco Bell.

BrianB

07-12-2007, 10:05 AM

Jesus and his cousin are on my job placing curb and gutter as we speak.
Oh sorry.....Wrong Jesus....My neighbor say's I'm going to hell anyway

adjones419

07-12-2007, 10:21 AM

I like to think of Jesus as a ninja fighting off evil samurai.

07-12-2007, 10:22 AM

Jesus and his cousin are on my job placing curb and gutter as we speak.
Oh sorry.....Wrong Jesus....My neighbor say's I'm going to hell anyway
Shut up Chip, or I'll go ape shit on your ass!

HavaSkank

07-12-2007, 10:22 AM

dmontzsta

07-12-2007, 10:23 AM

That just happened. :)

adjones419

07-12-2007, 10:23 AM

Shut up Chip, or I'll go ape shit on your ass!
I'm gonna scissor kick you to the back of the head.

BrianB

07-12-2007, 10:28 AM

I'm gonna scissor kick you to the back of the head.
Yeah what he said:mad:

07-12-2007, 10:30 AM

Yeah what he said:mad:
The greatest generation, my ass. Tom Brokaw is a punk!

lucky

07-12-2007, 10:33 AM

where is Maxijesus :D

adjones419

07-12-2007, 10:33 AM

What's the capital of North Carolina?

BrianB

07-12-2007, 10:42 AM

The greatest generation, my ass. Tom Brokaw is a punk!
Please give me the strength and fortitude to endure one last stupefying
v-drive project:)

07-12-2007, 10:48 AM

Please give me the strength and fortitude to endure one last stupefying
v-drive project:)
You got a lumpy butt.

Shreve "T"

07-12-2007, 10:52 AM

[QUOTE=adjones419;2668402]What's the capital of North Carolina?[/QUO
Charlotte..

Cigalert

07-12-2007, 10:54 AM

All this Jesus talk makes me want to throw grandpa chips war medals off the London bridge.

07-12-2007, 10:54 AM

[QUOTE=adjones419;2668402]What's the capital of North Carolina?[/QUO
Charlotte..
Washington D.C.

adjones419

07-12-2007, 10:55 AM

What's the capital of North Carolina?
Charlotte..
Washington, D.C. Come on guys!

07-12-2007, 10:56 AM

Washington, D.C. Come on guys!
Bingo!

Devilman

07-12-2007, 11:02 AM

Dear little baby Jesus, who's sittin' in his crib watchin the Baby Einstein videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin' me and my moma together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers.
LMAO

07-12-2007, 11:14 AM

adjones419

07-12-2007, 11:21 AM

Remember, the field mouse is fast...but the owl sees at night.

07-12-2007, 11:44 AM

Remember, the field mouse is fast...but the owl sees at night.
Like the frightened baby chipmunk, you are scared by anything that is different.

07-12-2007, 11:49 AM

The room is starting to spin real fast. Because of the-- Because of gayness.

WYRD

07-12-2007, 11:50 AM

I got somethin for ya....
http://static.flickr.com/218/505339136_9f4a600b1f_m.jpg
It's real NICE I got it at Target:D

lucky

07-12-2007, 12:36 PM

I like to think of Jesus, like with giant eagle wings.
And singing lead vocal for Lynyrd Skynyrd with, like an angel band. And I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk.
OOOOHH GOOOOD OOOOHHHHH GOD ohhhh god OHHHHH GOD . :D

Kilrtoy

07-12-2007, 12:40 PM

That Just Happened!

Kilrtoy

07-12-2007, 12:42 PM

http://***boat.com/forums/showthread.php?t=140989

HavaSkank

07-12-2007, 01:05 PM

Is that old dude the inventor of Grecian Formula?

Phat Matt

07-12-2007, 01:26 PM

You can say that 10,000 times and I'll never get tired of it.

Phat Matt

07-12-2007, 01:27 PM

This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love fig newtons. :D

WYRD

07-12-2007, 01:28 PM

One single "plop":D

Mrs. Bordsmnj

07-12-2007, 01:31 PM

This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love fig newtons. :D
LOL, Revndave just called me this morning and said that. LOL
:D

Kilrtoy

07-12-2007, 01:51 PM

It's the fastest that get paid and the fastest that get laid

little rowe boat

07-12-2007, 02:13 PM

I like to think of Jesus as the only one who would give his life for the worlds SIN.
Amen to that.

KineticoH20

07-12-2007, 02:40 PM

Im all jacked up on Mountain Dew!
Dad you made that grace your Bitch!

07-13-2007, 07:44 AM

If you could hear me, if it got into your brain somehow that I spread my butt cheeks as Mike Honcho.

Phat Matt

07-13-2007, 10:02 AM

Well, Nana's birthday is coming up, she gonna be 85, and I don't know what to get her.
Get her a coffin. :)

WYRD

07-13-2007, 10:04 AM

which car you miss most.........I'll bring that one:D

07-16-2007, 05:58 AM

When I think of Jesus, I like to think of him like a dirty bum....and I am gonna sock him because, you know...he is a dirty bum. Then I say to myself...Hey, there is something special about this guy.

mobldj

07-16-2007, 06:23 AM

My Jesus is ripped with 6 pk abs and massive shoulders. He finally gave up the 70's hair and went with a nice, high and tight buzz cut. His teeth are blindingly white and his lips always look like they have a fresh coat of chapstick.
Wow, I just realized that Howie Long IS my saviour after all. How enlightening.
who you kiddin hs,i will see you below,where our tourture will be unlimited sex with whoever your heart desires,only hang up for being in the hot place is you can never climax.ironic isnt it

Sportin' Wood

07-16-2007, 05:38 PM

Don't forget about the twins:D :D
" I painted the car....... and we had sex."

Phat Matt

07-16-2007, 05:59 PM

Why do you want the stereo on the same time as the TV?
Cuz I like to party.

thmper321

07-16-2007, 06:03 PM

What's the capital of North Carolina?
Washington DC!!

2forcefull

07-16-2007, 06:18 PM

I like to think of Jesus, like with giant eagle wings.
And singing lead vocal for Lynyrd Skynyrd with, like an angel band. And I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk.
I like to think of Jesus, like, every chance I get, and thank
him for being my savior, and for all that he does for me
and my family.
Life is good Jesus is Great!

Kilrtoy

07-16-2007, 06:21 PM

Schoolteacher: "Mr. Bobby, there's no smoking in here."
Reese Bobby: "Oh, it's alright, Darling, I'm a volunteer fireman."

Kilrtoy

07-16-2007, 06:24 PM

http://www.moviewavs.com/php/sounds/?id=bst&media=MP3S&type=Movies&movie=Talladega_Nights_The_Ballad_Of_Ricky_Bobby&quote=myfamily.txt&file=myfamily.mp3

07-19-2007, 07:14 AM

I like to think of Jesus like a mischieveous badger.

Froggystyle

07-19-2007, 08:45 AM

Get her a coffin. :)
I was thinking more like a nice throw or a blanket...

Froggystyle

07-19-2007, 08:48 AM

When I think of Jesus, I like to think of him like a dirty bum....and I am gonna sock him because, you know...he is a dirty bum. Then I say to myself...Hey, there is something special about this guy.
Because it was Jesus, right?

adjones419

07-19-2007, 08:49 AM

Because it was Jesus, right?
Well yeah!

Zaairman

07-19-2007, 08:55 AM

Go shave your balls, you dusty old fart!

07-20-2007, 09:50 AM

I like to think of Jesus like a shape shifter, you know where he can morph into different objects....have you ever seen Manimal?....like that.

HAMMER TIME

07-26-2007, 04:25 PM

:( When I think of Jesus, I like to think of him like a dirty bum....and I am gonna sock him because, you know...he is a dirty bum. Then I say to myself...Hey, there is something special about this guy. when i think of JESUS i think of a man who gave his life on a cross for my sins and for your sins and he loves you very much even with all your trash talking about him :) :) :) PS youve got 6000+ post and havent said a sensible thing that i've seen yet

Rvr Swpr

07-26-2007, 04:53 PM

I have lurked here for several years. Lately,it seems more than 1 person is Holy Moly.At times he has had interesting real estate info,but this thread is crap.

Froggystyle

07-26-2007, 04:58 PM

Just to put my .02 in... these are all quotes out of "Talladega Nights" for you folks who are offended. Carry on...

squirt'nmyload

07-26-2007, 04:58 PM

http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k265/squirtnmyload/jesus.jpg

Froggystyle

07-26-2007, 04:59 PM

http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k265/squirtnmyload/jesus.jpg
You try any of that crazy shit with me Pendejo... you flash a piece out on the lanes... I take it away, I put it up your ass and I pull the ****ing trigger 'till it goes... "click"..." :D

squirt'nmyload

07-26-2007, 05:01 PM

FYI... it's.. "You said it man... Nobody ****s wit tha Jesus..."
:notam: i'm slipping...i guess i'm gonna have to brush up on the subject tonight :D :D

adjones419

07-26-2007, 05:10 PM

You're out of your element.

Froggystyle

07-26-2007, 05:14 PM

You're out of your element.
I am the Walrus dude...

Tom Brown

07-26-2007, 05:17 PM

My Jesus is a flip-flop wearing plumber from so-cal.
http://www.CarlsonSpeed.com/~tombrown/QuickLink/9254DSC02061.jpg
http://www.CarlsonSpeed.com/~tombrown/QuickLink/9254normal_DSC02060.jpg

Jbb

07-26-2007, 05:27 PM

Seen on a bathroom wall, .....at the Famous Amos restaurant, Jax Fla.....3am...
"There is only one God......Elvis is his messenger."
:D

07-26-2007, 08:12 PM

:( when i think of JESUS i think of a man who gave his life on a cross for my sins and for your sins and he loves you very much even with all your trash talking about him :) :) :) PS youve got 6000+ post and havent said a sensible thing that i've seen yet
You automatically are eliminated from saying sensible things after 1000 posts. Its in the Geneva Convention. :D

07-26-2007, 08:14 PM

I have lurked here for several years. Lately,it seems more than 1 person is Holy Moly.At times he has had interesting real estate info,but this thread is crap.
These are the ABC's of me....Help me to help you. (thru a curve ball with a little jerry mcguire). :D

Sportin' Wood

07-26-2007, 08:44 PM

Its all fun and games till someone gets hurt. I like to think of Jesus as some one who has a sense of humor.;)

Rocknpalms

07-26-2007, 08:49 PM

This thread is wrong. Holy I use to to like you.

repo man

07-26-2007, 08:51 PM

this is my jesus!http://www.hotboatpics.com/pics/data/500/4857crh5t45ywaterftn1-med.jpg

rvrtoy

07-26-2007, 09:28 PM

I like to think of Jesus as the only one who would give his life for the worlds SIN.
We have a winner!!

DUNDUN

07-26-2007, 09:48 PM

i have a new nickname, el diablo
wow thats good, whats it mean?
i dont know, i think it means like, fighting chicken or something.

EAZYKILLER2006

07-26-2007, 09:52 PM

The room is starting to spin real fast. Because of the-- Because of gayness.
as the room spins
is it SWINGING ?:D

My Man's Sportin' Wood

07-27-2007, 05:56 AM

How many of the seven deadly sins do you break by visiting this website? We have "swingers", braggarts, tons of vanity, gluttony, pridefulness (runs rampant), lust, envy, avarice (which means greed or to crave things) and we've even been known to have some beastiality :D . Yet all those "holier than thous" still visit requently. This place is a den of inequity. Jesus might not frown on this site, but I guarantee your minister would (unless he's one of those "hippochristians"). Maybe those who don't get the joke should not bother visiting this thread. It was a joke people. In the immortal words of Don Henley, "Get over it."
I like to think of Jesus as a boy who argued with his teachers :D

07-27-2007, 07:38 AM

For those of you who seem to think this is an attack on Jesus thread....take it easy. As Froggystyle said.....we are quoting from Talladega Nights.
This is a humor thread with a few people not getting it. You hear that sound of a whoosh? That is this thread going right over your head. :D
If you are still upset at this thread, then please go to The World of HolyMoly (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1247649583086431730&q=****&hl=en) to get my official response, because not even a heard of dancing leprechauns can defend against my dancing finger style. :D

Jordy

07-27-2007, 07:44 AM

http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k265/squirtnmyload/jesus.jpg
Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't f ucking ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't f ucking roll! Shomer shabbos! :D :D :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmviHBCqKow

adjones419

07-27-2007, 07:50 AM

One of you turds is about to get slapped in the mouth!

Jordy

07-27-2007, 07:52 AM

And for those of you who missed the joke... :notam:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKDC2iBQTYg

thatguy

07-27-2007, 08:07 AM

I'll hold your hair.
"Well, I know everytime Me and Carli did it, She was defenitley unconcious."

thatguy

07-27-2007, 08:09 AM

My Favorite:
"Thats you and the car melding together."

07-27-2007, 09:16 AM

What do you say we go get kicked out of a perfectly good Applebees?

MommaRipka

07-27-2007, 09:39 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LtCrlXdd2E

MommaRipka

07-27-2007, 09:48 AM

thatguy

07-27-2007, 09:53 AM

"If either of you disobey Granny Law, I will paint your back porch red."
"How much you sellin' that weed for, old man?"

Jordy

07-27-2007, 10:09 AM

I agree with you. Love is blind to all the above and thats why so many on HB have become friends. Judgement is also a sin. Its always better to see the good in people. And Yes Jesus has a sense of humor. I don't write on here much but do love reading HB. There are really good peeps on here.
Are you still thumping on your Bible in a Ricky Bobby thread??? Guess the joke still missed ya or pehaps you're still missing the joke... :idea:
Oh dear Lord Baby Jesus... :notam:

thatguy

07-27-2007, 10:14 AM

I wouldn't sweat the mis-guided thumpers. Thier judgemental and condeming ways are the biggest sin of all. They have my pity though.

07-27-2007, 10:17 AM

Are you still thumping on your Bible in a Ricky Bobby thread??? Guess the joke still missed ya or pehaps you're still missing the joke... :idea:
Oh dear Lord Baby Jesus... :notam:
I like to think of Jesus as an angry 3 legged midget posting on ***boat starting blasphemous threads. :D

Jordy

07-27-2007, 10:24 AM

No, ma'am. I haven't seen my daddy in years. But, my mama say he's out racing cars, and, well, dipping his wick in anything that moves. :D

Cole Trickle

07-27-2007, 10:29 AM

LOL...
I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence:D

Jordy

07-27-2007, 10:30 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LtCrlXdd2E
And the first thing you gotta learn if you're gonna be a racecar driver, is that you don't listen to losers like your know-it-all teacher here. :devil: :idea: :D

Cole Trickle

07-27-2007, 10:30 AM

Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver. He is a do-er, and that's what you need to do. You don't need to think. You need to drive. You need speed. You need to go out there, and you need to rev your engine. You need to fire it up. You need to grab ahold of that line between speed and chaos, and you need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. And then, when the fear rises up in your belly, you use it. And you know that fear is powerful, because it has been there for billions of years! And it is good! And you use it! And you ride it; you ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell, and then you win, Ricky! You WIN! And you don't win for anybody else. You win for you, you know why? Because a man takes what he wants. He takes it all. And you're a man, aren't you? Aren't you?!

MommaRipka

07-27-2007, 10:31 AM

Are you still thumping on your Bible in a Ricky Bobby thread??? Guess the joke still missed ya or pehaps you're still missing the joke... :idea:
Oh dear Lord Baby Jesus... :notam:
LOL I got the joke. I was just trying to tell the ones not getting it to not judge or jump to conclusion.

Jordy

07-27-2007, 10:33 AM

LOL I got the joke. I was just trying to tell the ones not getting it to not judge or jump to conclusion.
Yeah, you sound like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of your mouth :idea:

07-27-2007, 11:06 AM

Yeah, you sound like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of your mouth :idea:
I fink twot ju are heeeering is ma aucksent.

Jordy

07-27-2007, 11:09 AM

I fink twot ju are heeeering is ma aucksent.
Really, smarty-pants? What did French land give us? :confused:

thatguy

07-27-2007, 11:11 AM

Get her a gigalo.

thatguy

07-27-2007, 11:13 AM

"She probably has a dozen of them in her closet. How many guys does she have coming over to have sex with her? Be thoughtful Glenn."

07-27-2007, 11:16 AM

Really, smarty-pants? What did French land give us? :confused:
We invented democracy, existentialism and the mÃ©nage Ã* trois.

HAMMER TIME

07-27-2007, 11:30 AM

holy moly's 2 brain cell web site:D http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1247649583086431730&q=****&hl=en

Jordy

07-27-2007, 11:37 AM

holy moly's 2 brain cell web site:D http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1247649583086431730&q=****&hl=en
STOP!!! Hammer Time. :notam:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/totp2/ugotthelook/images/mc_hammer.jpg

adjones419

07-27-2007, 12:37 PM

Alright, Professor Dickweed..

07-27-2007, 12:45 PM

I was malled by a cougar and ruined a perfectly good Crystal Gayle t-shirt.

adjones419

07-27-2007, 12:50 PM

So when you say psychosomatic, you mean like he could start a fire with his thoughts?

07-27-2007, 12:53 PM

So when you say psychosomatic, you mean like he could start a fire with his thoughts?
I'm just saying, sometimes you get a knock on the head, you get special powers.
It happens all the time. Read a comic book, okay?

Froggystyle

07-27-2007, 02:46 PM

We invented democracy, existentialism and the mÃ©nage Ã* trois.
It was the blowjob instead of the menage a trois... (speaking of which, how did you get the accents over the "e" and "a"?)
"I dunno boss... that last one was pretty cool."
Yeah, well we invented the missionary position... you're welcome!"
:D

07-27-2007, 03:08 PM

It was the blowjob instead of the menage a trois... (speaking of which, how did you get the accents over the "e" and "a"?)
"I dunno boss... that last one was pretty cool."
Yeah, well we invented the missionary position... you're welcome!"
:D
It depends on the version you got on your DVD. The unrated version says Blow Job and the rated version is mÃ©nage Ã* trois.
As far as the accents over the letters - you'd have to want an umbrella on your boat to not know how to do that. :D

Froggystyle

07-27-2007, 03:58 PM

It depends on the version you got on your DVD. The unrated version says Blow Job and the rated version is mÃ©nage Ã* trois.
As far as the accents over the letters - you'd have to want an umbrella on your boat to not know how to do that. :D
Take it up with Lavey29... His umbrella... :D
And seriously... how'dja do it?

07-28-2007, 11:23 AM

Take it up with Lavey29... His umbrella... :D
And seriously... how'dja do it?
Use your character map:
Click on the Windows Start menu, then All Programs (Start Â» All Programs) on the lower left of your screen.
Select Programs Â» Accessories Â» System Tools Â» Character Map.
NOTE: On some P C's, the Character Map may be in another location under Accessories or the Start menu.
In the Character Map
Make sure that the Font from the dropdown list matches that of the document you are creating. If you doing some other function, such as filling out a Web form, select Times New Roman as the Font.
Look in the grid for the symbol you want. If necessary, use the scroll bars on the right to view more characters.
NOTE: Many Windows fonts include Cyrillic and Greek letters by default. For other scripts, use Arial Unicode or some other appropriate font.
If the character you want is not in the grid, change the font to Arial Unicode MS, Lucida Sans Unicode, Tahoma, Times New Roman, Arial or some other appropriate font.
Double-click on any character you wish to insert then click the Select button to make it appear in the Characters to Copy field. You can Select more than one character at this time.
Highlight one or more of the characters in the Characters to Copy you wish to insert then click the Copy button.
Pasting Symbol in Document
Minimize from the Character Map window, and open or switch to the application window in which you wish to insert a the character.
Position your cursor in the location you wish to insert the character.
Under the Edit Menu, choose Paste (or use the keyboard shortcut Control+V). The character should appear.
If necessary, change the font of the inserted character to the one selected in the Character Map.

KineticoH20

07-28-2007, 12:11 PM

Nice bike.....is that a Huffy?

KineticoH20

07-28-2007, 12:13 PM

At night I like to dress up in high heels and pretent Im Donna Summer..........Last chance.....last chance for romance tonight..................

Riverkid

07-28-2007, 03:07 PM

Use your character map:
Click on the Windows Start menu, then All Programs (Start Â» All Programs) on the lower left of your screen.
Select Programs Â» Accessories Â» System Tools Â» Character Map.
NOTE: On some P C's, the Character Map may be in another location under Accessories or the Start menu.
In the Character Map
Make sure that the Font from the dropdown list matches that of the document you are creating. If you doing some other function, such as filling out a Web form, select Times New Roman as the Font.
Look in the grid for the symbol you want. If necessary, use the scroll bars on the right to view more characters.
NOTE: Many Windows fonts include Cyrillic and Greek letters by default. For other scripts, use Arial Unicode or some other appropriate font.
If the character you want is not in the grid, change the font to Arial Unicode MS, Lucida Sans Unicode, Tahoma, Times New Roman, Arial or some other appropriate font.
Double-click on any character you wish to insert then click the Select button to make it appear in the Characters to Copy field. You can Select more than one character at this time.
Highlight one or more of the characters in the Characters to Copy you wish to insert then click the Copy button.
Pasting Symbol in Document
Minimize from the Character Map window, and open or switch to the application window in which you wish to insert a the character.
Position your cursor in the location you wish to insert the character.
Under the Edit Menu, choose Paste (or use the keyboard shortcut Control+V). The character should appear.
If necessary, change the font of the inserted character to the one selected in the Character Map.
Are you kidding me?

07-28-2007, 05:15 PM

Are you kidding me?
Don't tell wes that I just cut and paste. sssshhhhhhh. :D

07-30-2007, 11:19 PM

How about you say "I love really thin pancakes?" That is a fair compromise...no?

adjones419

07-31-2007, 05:11 AM

How much you selling that weed for, old man?

07-31-2007, 09:09 AM

Break it Pepe Le Pew!!!

adjones419

08-01-2007, 09:00 AM

My friends and I skipped school and we filled up a cup of pee and tried to get our neighbors dog to drink it, but he wouldn't.

Kilrtoy

08-01-2007, 09:47 AM

Rescue Worker: "Mr. Bobby, come on down here."
Ricky: "Help me, Jesus! Help me, Jewish God! Help me, Allah! Help me, Tom Cruise!"