Any "chuck Norris" Jokes

[SummerBreeze]

It's been sometime that I have heard any Norris jokes
Anyone?

[ratso]

It's been sometime that I have heard any Norris jokes
Anyone?
Google it... there's hundreds of em.;)

[pw_Tony]

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.
Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

[My Man's Sportin' Wood]

My daughter heard on the radio yesterday (people were caqlling in with random facts) that they had to slow the film down in Chuck Norris movies so you could see his moves. I think that's actually a fact, at least it was stated as one. I laughed at first until she told me it was a fact. Guess I'll have to investigate http://www.***boat.com/ubb/graemlins/idea_2.gif

[Boatcop]

By pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Chuck Norris once downed an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

[buzzaro]

Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

[AZKC]

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

[essexjet]

Friend has a t-shirt that says;
When Chuck Norris gets drunk he doesn't throw up...he throws down.

[uLtRADeNniS]

Chuck Norris Doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.

[SummerBreeze]

Chuck Norris Doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.
Funny