Murphy's Lesser-known Dictums

[RitcheyRch]

1.. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
2.. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3.. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4.. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
5.. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
6.. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be
stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the
fog.
7.. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
8.. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those
who got there first.
9.. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
10.. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
11.. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
12.. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
13. When you go into court, you are putting yourself In the hands of 12
people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty

[SmokinLowriderSS]

If the enemy is in range, so are you.
If you can see the enemy, they can see you.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
Friendly fire isn't.
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire. This is why aircraft carriers are called bomb magnets.
There is always a way.
The easy way is always mined.
Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
The enemy only attacks on one of two occasions: When you're ready for them, and when you're not ready for them.
Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.
If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.
When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
If it's stupid but works, then it isn't stupid.
When in doubt empty the magazine.
Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.
Anything you do can get you shot. Including doing nothing.
Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.
Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.
Five second fuses only last three seconds.
It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.
When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
You are not a superman.
No plan survives the first contact intact.
If you are forward of your position the artillery will always fall short.
The important things are always simple.
The simple things are always hard.
No combat ready unit ever passed inspection.
Beer math: two beers times 37 men equal 49 cases.
Body count math: two guerillas plus one portable plus two pigs equals 37 enemy KIA.
Things that must be together to work usually can't be shipped together.
Radios will fail as soon as you desperately need fire support.
Tracers work both ways.
If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share of objectives to take.
When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.
If it moves, shoot it.
If it doesn't move, poke it with your gun barrel and then shoot it.
Overkill works.
Murphy was a grunt.
:D

[Jbb]

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep.....He waits.
The chief export of Tom Brown is pain.

[Jbb]

If it moves, shoot it.
If it doesn't move, poke it with your gun barrel and then shoot it.
Words to live by....:D

[MADDOG355]

Drinking
If it sounds like a good idea, It isn't.
If your buddies think something is a great idea, It will be painfull to you.
Mechanical
When you make the weakest link stronger, The next weakest link will be more expensive.
Engines always run best just before they sling a rod.
Electrical
They call it a dead wire becouse if it is not, you will be.
When you can't figure it out why it is not working. It will be the connection you KNEW was good, Or the fuse that was suposed to go to something else.