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View Full Version : Top 10 ways to look like a total toolbag



Cigalert
08-20-2007, 05:21 AM
Copied from www.magnificentbastard.com
posted:
08.02.07
Let's all try and avoid these devastating fashion faux pas.
#1. Backwards Baseball Hat
http://www.magnificentbastard.com/images/features/toolbag-01.jpg
Do you play catcher for a major league ball club? Minor league? Local softball team? No? Then don't do this.
#2. Oakley Blades
http://www.magnificentbastard.com/images/features/toolbag-02.jpg
Your Tour de France riding days are over, pal.
#3. Bluetooth Headset
http://www.magnificentbastard.com/images/features/toolbag-03.jpg
1. Trust us, you're not that important.
2. You're now just one-degree removed from Lando Calrissian's bald android assistant.
#4. Gold Necklace
http://www.magnificentbastard.com/images/features/toolbag-04.jpg
Rap moguls, NBA stars, and Mr. T excluded. Some white guy from the 'burbs, nuh uh.
#5. Tommy Bahama Shirt
http://www.magnificentbastard.com/images/features/toolbag-05.jpg
When in Hawaii, this is OK. In the upper 49, toolbag.
#6. National Review Magazine
http://www.magnificentbastard.com/images/features/toolbag-06.jpg
In close association with bad style, bad politics.
#7. Belt-clipped Cell Phone
http://www.magnificentbastard.com/images/features/toolbag-07.jpg
Scream "I am a middle manager!" a little louder. The guy across the street didn't hear you.
#8. "cause" Wristband
http://www.magnificentbastard.com/images/features/toolbag-08.jpg
Exceptions made if you or immediate family member is battling various wristband maladies. Otherwise, grab a scissors.
#9. over-the-knee double-pleated shorts
http://www.magnificentbastard.com/images/features/toolbag-09.jpg
Two things wrong here:
1. 4 pleats.
2. Over the knee.
#10. Crocs
http://www.magnificentbastard.com/images/features/toolbag-10.jpg
he Zubaz of the '00s. Here's a good rule to live by: Never wear the same shoes as your 5-year-old nephew.

'75 Miller
08-20-2007, 06:38 AM
#11...tattoo in what's tradionally a chick-tat spot. on the ankle :D , shoulder blade, or the new bandwagon tat location, small of the back....the "target" or "tramp stamp", if you will. j/k:)

adjones419
08-20-2007, 07:16 AM
or the new bandwagon tat location, small of the back....the "target" or "tramp stamp"
Might as well be a bullseye. ;)

fatboy95
08-20-2007, 07:21 AM
How about the sideways ball cap, pants lower than your butt cheeks, Raiders jersey, NBA shorts

vee-driven
08-20-2007, 09:42 AM
Anybody that uses the shocker, your not cool and your a dork.

Chipster27
08-20-2007, 12:38 PM
Ahh crap I'm not the toolbox, but maybe a drawer in the toolbox :D. But I live in Whitey Town so it's expected :D

H20 Toie
08-20-2007, 12:44 PM
Figures i was given a Tommy Bahama shirt last week and i like it.
Oh well guess im a tool

Nord
08-20-2007, 01:08 PM
Backwards hat??

TYLER DURDEN
08-20-2007, 01:22 PM
11. Board shorts and sunglasses with Flames.
12. TRIBAL or BARBWIRE armband tattoo.

River Lynchmob
08-20-2007, 01:36 PM
Tommy Bahama? Come on now.

HavaSkank
08-20-2007, 01:40 PM
Men should NEVER wear studded belts

River Lynchmob
08-20-2007, 01:44 PM
Men should NEVER wear studded belts
how about a studded cack ring?

HavaSkank
08-20-2007, 01:47 PM
I prefer my penis' to be jewelry free. Call me boring, but I have an IUD and I dont want some freaky phuck reaching in and tugging that shiat out.

4day!!
08-20-2007, 01:48 PM
Hey i don't need no stinking list to tell me how to look like a tool bag. I can look like one just fine on my own.

callbob4homes
08-20-2007, 03:24 PM
So where do you keep your phone? Your manpurse????????:eek: :eek: :eek:

ratso
08-20-2007, 03:29 PM
Well, I like the Tommy Bahama Shirts and I clip my phone on my belt...:jawdrop:

Baja Big Dog
08-20-2007, 03:41 PM
Dam....
For Sale
One neat pair of shorts $75
One cool looking pair of "fag free" green shoes $50