Is there a Doctor in the House?

[DelawareDave]

I have a very real situation at home. My grandson, almost 4, has not eaten for 8 days, today. He refuses to eat. He will sit right next to me when I eat, watching. He asks what I have. I ask him if he wants some, and he responds "No" and gets up and walks away. Odd behaviour, from past experience with him. He is drinking juice, etc, but will not eat. He has not had a bowel movement since he stopped eating. He has been to the Dr 2 times, and the E.R. 2 times. None seem to think it is an issue, since he is still getting fluids. The wife and I were at the ER with him the last time.
He says he is hungry, but refuses to eat. He says his stomach hurts, but no prodding or poking him anywhere has any negative effect. His stomach is not hard, tight, or swollen. He is very active, and shows no signs of distress. He has lost several pounds, but still looks healthy. His Mommy is never at home, always with the "boyfriend". G-son is always with her.
I don't follow the way the Docs are thinking. It may be time to take him to another Doc, and/or ER. I can't force his mommy to do anything, but can and will suggest what I think.
Latest, is they told her to give him a pediatric laxative. Gee, like maybe he is constipated!
I am beginning to lose faith in the ER, which is supposed to be one of the best around here. My wife filed a formal complaint with the hospital.
I am also beginning to suspect the possibilty of a different root cause, but how do you question a 4 year old? I don't trust the B/F. He is a very overbearing person, who likes to be "in charge" of everything and everyone around him, and always appears to have the weight of the world on his shoulders. I have heard him scream at my step-daughter, outside the house, from in my basement with the TV on. I am inclined to suspect some possible abuse, but don't want to accuse anyone of anything without some sort of evidence, other than a gut feeling. I am not real happy with the way she raises him, but bite my tongue mostly, except to my wife.

[Her454]

8 days is a LONG time for anyone, much less a 4 year old to go without eating. I cant imagine him still being energetic and not look sickly. I would most certainly get a second opinion.

[Jbb]

8 days is a long time......I would try another doctor or ER.......today!

[phebus]

If they don't feel there is a medical problem, have the doctor's suggested counseling?

[Jordy]

Wow, 8 days??? I don't even like to go 8 hours without some kind of a feeding. :D :D
I'd get a 2nd opinion on that.

[DelawareDave]

If they don't feel there is a medical problem, have the doctor's suggested counseling?
Their suggestion on Saturday was to take him home and feed him popsicles so he stays hydrated. If anyone needs counseling, it is his mommy.

[redi4fun]

More often then not your gut feeling is right in a situation like this. Find a child psyc. for your grandson to talk with. If the psyc will not talk to your grandson because they want parental conscent the only way to get the child help is to mention possible abuse to his doctor. The Dr. is obligated by law to get the ball rolling and investigate the situation.
Be warned that once the ball gets rolling be ready for the ruff ride. Child abuse cases can get very ugly.
Nonetheless he is your grandson and I would do something quickly.

[photo chick]

I was almost 5 when my dad died racing.... Apparently, I refused to eat, sleep, or cry. This sounds physcological to me.... I'd seek help with a different type of doctor immediately.

[MRSDRMCAT]

Did they draw blood and test it? And the mom isn't concerned? That right there is grounds for abuse? I would would take pediatric doctor....try calling and making an appoint today. And be persisitant!

[brianthomas]

Get a second and third opinion. Doctors are indeed human and often miss with a diagnosis.
My kids were both consuming too much dairy at that age and it caused a backup in the bowel. Both take a fiber supliment disolved in juice now and it has done wonders. They did not have pain just would not eat. A doc can feel their stomach to see if they are backed up.
Have a friend with a three year old that had 12 cavaties in his teeth and would not eat. No evident pain but as a last resort took him to the dentist and discovered this. All is fine now.
If daughter is a flake tell her you will not care for the kid unless she gives you custody. Don't follow through on your threat as the kid will possibly pay the price but it might scare her into doing the right thing.
Remember the old joke about waiting for the daughters first date to arrive to pick her up and the dad is in camo and has a knife on his belt? A very serious talk with this boyfriend of what is expected of him might help. "If you yell at, strike, threaten or any similar thing to my precious daughter I WILL make you pay the price".

[MRSDRMCAT]

Also, meanwhile have you tried the drinks that are available that are like a meal. They have them for kids.

[DelawareDave]

8 days is a LONG time for anyone, much less a 4 year old to go without eating. I cant imagine him still being energetic and not look sickly. I would most certainly get a second opinion.
He doesn't act like anything is wrong. He is ready to wrassle with me as soon as he sees me, with no let-up til I make him stop. Believe me, he still throws a mean fist, lol. He plays with his cousin, although he isn't too rough with her. He knows better. She is only 1.

[LadyLavey]

Try getting him to drink Pedisure or even a milkshake something with A LOT of calories. Or even a smoothie.
But I would be persistant and take him to a pediatrician or nutritionist right away.

[LadyLavey]

Maybe he is constipated even, no bowel movement no room for food can cause stomach pains.
Just a guess Good Luck

[DelawareDave]

His regular doc is a pediatrician. 4 different Docs looked at him in the ER when wifey and I were there. No blood work was ever done. I saw swollen tonsils myself on Saturday. Nothing else I saw looked out of line. ER did strep test (negative) Saturday. My wife thinks they are not doing what they should be, including blood work, and possibly a lateral head/neck xray just to verify nothing is there. Pediatrician said he saw something in his throat, and gave him an antibiotic.
My personal opinion, is they should have admitted him on Saturday, and started trying to figure out what is up.

[topless]

If daughter is a flake tell her you will not care for the kid unless she gives you custody. Don't follow through on your threat as the kid will possibly pay the price but it might scare her into doing the right thing.
Do you honestly think she's just going to say, "Oh, OK" That is pretty far fetched. I think it's psychological and he needs someone to talk to. Mybe the BF makes him sit there and eat stuff he doesn't like so when he's with you, he won't eat because you don't make him like the BF does. Now that's just a thought but I would certainly think there is an underlying cause for this.

[SummitKarl]

I am also beginning to suspect the possibilty of a different root cause, but how do you question a 4 year old? .
crayons, paper and time,, sure as the sun will rise the child will draw and what is bothering the child will come out in the drawings....:idea:
doesn't sound like this is a medical problem at all....the child wants someones attention for something...let the drawings tell you what it is;)
good luck DD...sounds like you have a handful to deal with

[dunaholic]

First thing first......Grab your shotgun and run off that no good boyfriend.

[Tom Brown]

There you go. 11 doctors and 1 redneck, at your service. :cool:

[FOREVER2DOXIES]

I have a very real situation at home. My grandson, almost 4, has not eaten for 8 days, today. He refuses to eat. He will sit right next to me when I eat, watching. He asks what I have. I ask him if he wants some, and he responds "No" and gets up and walks away. Odd behaviour, from past experience with him. He is drinking juice, etc, but will not eat. He has not had a bowel movement since he stopped eating. He has been to the Dr 2 times, and the E.R. 2 times. None seem to think it is an issue, since he is still getting fluids. The wife and I were at the ER with him the last time.
He says he is hungry, but refuses to eat. He says his stomach hurts, but no prodding or poking him anywhere has any negative effect. His stomach is not hard, tight, or swollen. He is very active, and shows no signs of distress. He has lost several pounds, but still looks healthy. His Mommy is never at home, always with the "boyfriend". G-son is always with her.
I don't follow the way the Docs are thinking. It may be time to take him to another Doc, and/or ER. I can't force his mommy to do anything, but can and will suggest what I think.
Latest, is they told her to give him a pediatric laxative. Gee, like maybe he is constipated!
I am beginning to lose faith in the ER, which is supposed to be one of the best around here. My wife filed a formal complaint with the hospital.
I am also beginning to suspect the possibilty of a different root cause, but how do you question a 4 year old? I don't trust the B/F. He is a very overbearing person, who likes to be "in charge" of everything and everyone around him, and always appears to have the weight of the world on his shoulders. I have heard him scream at my step-daughter, outside the house, from in my basement with the TV on. I am inclined to suspect some possible abuse, but don't want to accuse anyone of anything without some sort of evidence, other than a gut feeling. I am not real happy with the way she raises him, but bite my tongue mostly, except to my wife.
From working in Pediatrics, the child is taking in liquids fine. You have gotten information from doctors and hospitals, but nothing that is satisfactory to you, which is understandable. One...he does not need a laxative. No intake of solid foods means no output. He has basically placed himself on a liquid diet for whatever reasons. Most children go through growth tables where, when they grow they eat, when they dont grow they dont eat. Self regulated without a thought. But because this has been going on for 8 days -- not a drop of food at all??? -- then I would agree that the stressful lifestyle you describe is most likely the cause of this situation. In the meantime, rather than juices only for nutrition, go get some Assure or Slimfast drinks or even some Carnation Instant breakfast mix and feed him that instead. And continue to look into children's counseling

[Silver]

I was almost 5 when my dad died racing.... Apparently, I refused to eat, sleep, or cry. This sounds physcological to me.... I'd seek help with a different type of doctor immediately.
I had this happen to me when I was 7 and had just moved to the USA. I do not know why I stopped eating????? But my mom had had it.....she finally drove me to a hospital in the parking lot, across the street was a Carl's Jr, and she said if you do not eat....you will die! Either you get whatever you want to eat right now....or I am talking you the E.R. in and having them put an I.V. in your arm...because I am not letting you die! I ate, and things went right back to normal. Long story short.....
I was sad at the time, I had left the world's best dog in England, and had not yet accepted the move! It was for sure Psychological!
Be firm and shake this kid up! Or....figure out what the hell is going on!
Meanwhile give him a protein shake!
Good luck and let us know! Stay strong!

[BIGJOEDUCKSLAYER]

DAVE sorry to be first to bring this up, but cps would love to get involved with your grandson!
BIG JOE GOOD LUCK

[PunkAssBitch]

I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, but I do have kids & also know from my own experiences....
I do know that my appetite completely dwindles down to near non-existent levels during the summer. Too hot to eat & nothing seems all that appetizing. I'm weird like that.
I also know that you should trust your gut. If you think there's something not right, then that's probably the case. It may not be outright "abuse", but...well, you never know. When I was growing up, my step-dad was hard core about table manners. Terrorized the $hit out of us over how we held our forks, drank our milk, sat, etc. It sucked & we all learned to hate eating meals while he was present.
The only other thing that I would suggest is to have lots of things available to him......man, after 8 days of not eating...put anything in front of him...healthy & junky....just to try to get anything in that little guy.
Good luck...

[DelawareDave]

From working in Pediatrics, the child is taking in liquids fine. You have gotten information from doctors and hospitals, but nothing that is satisfactory to you, which is understandable. One...he does not need a laxative. No intake of solid foods means no output. He has basically placed himself on a liquid diet for whatever reasons. Most children go through growth tables where, when they grow they eat, when they dont grow they dont eat. Self regulated without a thought. But because this has been going on for 8 days -- not a drop of food at all??? -- then I would agree that the stressful lifestyle you describe is most likely the cause of this situation. In the meantime, rather than juices only for nutrition, go get some Assure or Slimfast drinks or even some Carnation Instant breakfast mix and feed him that instead. And continue to look into children's counseling
I don't know that I can agree with everything you say. Docs in the ER, visit #2, were told of no fluid intake for almost 2 days, and obvious signs of beginning dehydration (dark urine w/strong odor, low quantity). Their statement is "Let him eat popsicles, for fluid intake". You have to sit there and practically "spoon feed" him a popsicle before he will touch it. But he is taking fluids again now, for a few days.
"No intake of solid foods means no output." It seems to me that you still have "output" for a day or 2 after not eating solids. The kid is still in diapers, yeah- almost 4 years old, so easy to keep track of. He had no B/M, and stopped eating the same day. I could see eating a couple days after no B/M, but not the other way around.