View Full Version : Failed pickup lines
LaveyJet
10-18-2007, 07:44 AM
Some are good, some are groaners.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd die laughing.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?
HavaSkank
10-18-2007, 07:56 AM
"Is that a Tic Tac in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
sigepmock
10-18-2007, 08:08 AM
Wow ...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.:devil: :D
b's sanger
10-18-2007, 08:11 AM
You're almost as pretty as your sister...
HavaSkank
10-18-2007, 08:13 AM
"Excuse me, is this face taken?"
thatguy
10-18-2007, 08:14 AM
"Honest Baby, all the grown ups do it!"
HavaSkank
10-18-2007, 08:18 AM
"You should wear my ass as a hat"
Ziggy
10-18-2007, 08:19 AM
So I suppose asking for a BlowJob is out of the question......
Oh wait, that one worked :D :D I'll have to rethink this question:idea:
adjones419
10-18-2007, 08:20 AM
Nice shoes, wanna f*ck?
hotlavey
10-18-2007, 08:20 AM
Didn't we go to different schools together?
HavaSkank
10-18-2007, 08:22 AM
"wanna come home with me and play with the box my kids came in?"
One that's guaranteed NOT to work....
Does this look infected to you?
"wanna come home with me and play with the box my kids came in?"
perhaps you should change this to "the box your kids were delivered in":D :D
mbrown2
10-18-2007, 08:49 AM
"wanna come home with me and play with the box my kids came in?"
That's good.
One that's guaranteed NOT to work....
Does this look infected to you?
Its not herpies if its everywhere:D
Legal Chemistry
10-18-2007, 08:54 AM
Just pop the puss, it makes it slide better.
:yuk:
plaster dave
10-18-2007, 09:00 AM
Ha baby you want to dance?
No!!!
What do you mean No???
I dont want to dance.
I said you look Fat In Those Pants!!!!
I watch a drunk friend use this one once it was so funny.:D
HavaSkank
10-18-2007, 09:01 AM
"Cornhole me if Im wrong, but is your name Humberto?"
"I just wanted to let you know........that I am very beautiful";)
"Aids...........glad I beat that":notam: :jawdrop:
R.A.D.man
10-18-2007, 09:04 AM
Hey there, do you know the difference between dinner and a blow job?
No
Well then, we should get together for dinner sometime.
"wanna come home with me and play with the box my kids came in?"
Is that a pickup line from the south? eeewwwwweeeee.
MKEELINE
10-18-2007, 09:12 AM
Does this look too big for my body?
Baja Big Dog
10-18-2007, 09:13 AM
Can we do it if the rubber covers the scabs???:D
Baja Big Dog
10-18-2007, 09:14 AM
Dam...I left my Magnums at home!!!
INSman
10-18-2007, 09:16 AM
Is that a mirror on your jeans cause I can see myself in your pants ...
Sugar, you are finer than a new set of snow tires.
HavaSkank
10-18-2007, 09:33 AM
"You find genitals warts sexy....right?"
Why does it matter that I banged Havaskank?
"You find genitals warts sexy....right?"
Its ribbed for her pleasure:jawdrop:
DeltaSigBoater
10-18-2007, 09:41 AM
Excuse me, but it is Duck Season or Rabbit Season :D
Jordy
10-18-2007, 09:45 AM
Don't be picky, I wasn't. :D
You make me feel funny, like when I climb the rope in gym class.
HavaSkank
10-18-2007, 09:46 AM
Why does it matter that I banged Havaskank?
All the cool kids are doing it
adjones419
10-18-2007, 09:46 AM
You make me feel funny, like when I climb the rope in gym class.
classic Garth Algar!
Why dont you just give in and blow my load, you know you want too
wright27
10-18-2007, 09:54 AM
Can I stir your drink? Mind if I use my dick?
I just shit into my pants. Can I get into yours?
photo chick
10-18-2007, 09:58 AM
Don't be picky, I wasn't. :D
I bet that went over well...........:rolleyes:
You must be the reason for global warming because you’re hot
DeltaSigBoater
10-18-2007, 10:03 AM
Look, either way I'm getting off to your image, I think it would be better if you were actually there!
photo chick
10-18-2007, 10:04 AM
Can I read your T shirt in brail?
adjones419
10-18-2007, 10:05 AM
I just shit into my pants. Can I get into yours?
I'm using that one tonight. I'll let you know how it works out.
photo chick
10-18-2007, 10:07 AM
What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.
heard that one once...
CPBRIAN10THMTN
10-18-2007, 10:08 AM
Did it hurt?
chick: did what hurt?
when you fell from heaven?
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Ya know, that shirt would look alot better on my bedroom floor
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do you wash your pants with windex cuz i can see myself in them
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Did you get those pants at Macy's? They would be even better if they were half off
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Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes
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Do you have a bandaid? Cuz I'm cut!(flex)
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Do I really need to buy you a drink or can i just give you them money and we can go back to my place?
Jordy
10-18-2007, 10:08 AM
I bet that went over well...........:rolleyes:
You were there. Seemed to work out just fine. ;)
photo chick
10-18-2007, 10:16 AM
You were there. Seemed to work out just fine. ;)
Oh that's right, I was watching..........I remember you screaming when you realized she was a man... :eek: ;)
Cheap Thrills
10-18-2007, 10:35 AM
My magic watch says you're not wearing any panties !
OH ! You are ?
Damn thing must be running fast again.
T.
wright27
10-18-2007, 12:10 PM
I'm using that one tonight. I'll let you know how it works out.
I actually think it will work out for you quite nicely.:D
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