PDA

View Full Version : Dog Diary vs Cat Diary



topless
10-19-2007, 10:26 AM
DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite
thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt
me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine
lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I
are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly
clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me
going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust
them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless
body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made condescending comments about
what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the
duration of the event. However, I could hear the
noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I
must learn what this means, and how to use it to my
advantage.
This morning? I was almost successful in an attempt to
assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his
feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow
-- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are
flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special
privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be
more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird hasgot to be an informant. I observe him
communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain
that he reports my every move. My captors have
arranged protective custody for him in an elevated
cell, so he is safe.
For now...
Cat

That Guy
10-19-2007, 10:39 AM
Lmao.....:d :d

Ziggy
10-19-2007, 10:59 AM
Good one EvilAli :) :)
Sounds just like a marraige :D:D:D
.
.
reminds me of the cartoon "Get Fuzzy"...that one makes me LOL most days.

DesertGirl
10-19-2007, 11:25 AM
Very cute lol!

thatguy
10-19-2007, 11:38 AM
I saw this last year and saved it, still funny know matter how many times I read it!!:D :D
Tommy

topless
10-19-2007, 12:14 PM
I saw this last year and saved it, still funny know matter how many times I read it!!:D :D
TommyI got it a couple years ago too. I forgot about it until it was emailed to me today......still makes me laugh.

hkunz
10-19-2007, 01:03 PM
And soooo true:D

Dave C
10-19-2007, 01:20 PM
I knew it... everyone said I was crazy but I knew that the cat was given me one of those...."go f uck yourself" looks :devil:

Mrs.Racer277
10-19-2007, 06:19 PM
LMAO
That is exactly what my cats think. :) :)

raff
10-19-2007, 07:06 PM
Now I know why my cat is always at my feet:sqeyes:

beerjet
10-19-2007, 07:10 PM
I got it a couple years ago too. I forgot about it until it was emailed to me today......still makes me laugh.
You are such an easy woman to please. :D :wink:

photo chick
10-20-2007, 04:59 AM
Good one Ali, very funny!!
... I always wonder what the tigers and lions are thinking at our park. Recently we acquired a black lab, we named her Cat, :D she gets to run the property free. She was very scared the first month b/c everywhere she turned there was a large cat watching her. When she walks by they stock her. Now it's her goal in life to make the lynx, cougars, tigers or lions chase her the full length of their playgrounds. I wonder if they wonder why she's allowed to roam free and they can't.:confused:
Anyone ever try to put Frontline on a Bobcat? That was one of my jobs yesterday. I feel like I've been beat up today, not to mention, I look like I got in a fight with a Cactus...:( But I won!

maxwedge
10-20-2007, 09:31 AM
Anyone ever try to put Frontline on a Bobcat?
I'll pass, it's hard enough to put on a lab, and she's friendly.:D

photo chick
10-20-2007, 10:23 AM
I'll pass, it's hard enough to put on a lab, and she's friendly.:D
she doesn't look friendly in your avatar!!! :)

maxwedge
10-20-2007, 10:49 AM
she doesn't look friendly in your avatar!!! :)
Really she was happy as hell when that picture was taken. She just happened to be laying upside down on the floor waiting to catch a tennis ball that was being dropped into her mouth, and she just happens to look like a rabid vampire bat in that position.:D
Usually she looks more a normal lab. Here she is wearing the elusive hot boat T-shirt.:D
http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/500/dog_043.jpg

photo chick
10-20-2007, 10:57 AM
Really she was happy as hell when that picture was taken. She just happened to be laying upside down on the floor waiting to catch a tennis ball that was being dropped into her mouth, and she just happens to look like a rabid vampire bat in that position.:D
Usually she looks more a normal lab. Here she is wearing the elusive hot boat T-shirt.:D
http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/500/dog_043.jpg
Ok now she looks normal!!! She's adorable...

topless
10-20-2007, 10:58 AM
Really she was happy as hell when that picture was taken. She just happened to be laying upside down on the floor waiting to catch a tennis ball that was being dropped into her mouth, and she just happens to look like a rabid vampire bat in that position.:D
Usually she looks more a normal lab. Here she is wearing the elusive hot boat T-shirt.:D
http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/500/dog_043.jpg
Nice to see you are a law abiding citizen and didn't remove the tag from the sofa.:D

photo chick
10-20-2007, 11:13 AM
Nice to see you are a law abiding citizen and didn't remove the tag from the sofa.:D
:D :D

maxwedge
10-20-2007, 11:17 AM
Nice to see you are a law abiding citizen and didn't remove the tag from the sofa.:D
Funny you mention that. Sadie has since removed (and probably eaten) the tag, as well as a large portion of the foam from that sofa. Making that roughly 4, hand-me-down, POS, couchs that she has destroyed over the years. I guess if you are a dog and you lose your ball in the couch cushions when nobody is home, the best thing to do is dig for it like mad, then, when the humans get back, just pretend like you have no idea how the entire living room got covered in foam chunks, and the couch looks like it was attacked by wolves.:D Anyway had to throw out the whole sofa after that for fear of the mattress police.